A little sad tonight

[grumplefuz]

I am a little sad. Im late for my period, and I think my new meds are just throwing my body off...but then I get all these emotions.
I amnot infertile, I just have lost two babies, and whenever Im late, I get all these emotions.
I just wish I would get it!!! I ge aggrivated having all these health things..Plus, if I were pregnant, i would just have to have that sinking feeling of trying to have a healthy pregnancy.

i just have all these emotions tonight i dont appreciate!! I just am praying for Balance.....
physically especially. Its hard adjusting to new meds I guess....plus, since i stopped the ultram and started elavil, i have nothing for pain, and was hurting sooooooo bad this morning.

Thanks for loistening to me complain. I know I have it soooooo good, and I am thankful that things could always e so much worse.
This is just a time of adjustment.
Part of me begs God for a baby, and part of me hates the idea of risking the heartache again.

Trusting God!! Thats all I can do...... He always seems to know what he is doing when its all said and done ;)

[Katrina]

:grouphug::pray::grouphug::pray: (((((((((hugs))))))))))) Sending possitive thoughts! :kiss:

[Mel53H]

Hang in there! I have a feeling that everything will turn out OK. God has a plan. :grouphug:

Mel53H

[Kara29]

I understand all of your feelings regarding babies or no babies. My heart goes out to you tonight. You are not alone. I want a baby girl more than anything in this whole world. I am unable to have them. I know how the sadness feels. Losing a baby is a truama in an of itself and every time a periiod comes around, you may not be aware of it, but your feelings come creeping back in.
You could still get pregnant and have a healthy baby someday. But right now, it's too hard for you to think about it that way because you are sick. But for tonight, you are feeling lost and that is normal in your circumstances. Just to let you know you are not alone I will explain what Reproductive Trauma stands for.

This comes out of a book called Unsung Lullabies. "A Trauma is any event or feeling that goes beyond the range of usual human experience and it overwhelming, either physically, emotionally, or both. It typically involves a threat to your physical integrity or that of a loved one. It may be the result of a single devastating event or a series of events that gradually build up and overwhelm you. As part part of the minds attempt to master the catastrophic overload, the events may be re-experienced as flashbacks, which can be triggered by anything reminiscent of the original events. Sometimes a general hypersensitivity and irritability occurs, alternating paradoxically with a sense of numbness and withdrawl. A traumatized person feels anxious, depressed, and has difficulty concentrating."

This reminds me of the trauma of IC and miscarriage.

"Moreover, like a soldier who must return to battle again and again, you face an accumulation of traumatic losses when, month after month, another menstraul cycle occurs, you re-experience the loss and are consequently truamatized month after month."

This book may not be for you becaue it deals with infertility but it has some good stuff in it that helps makes you feel not so alone with your feelings.

Reference for quotes: Unsung Lullabies, Janet Jaffe, PH.D., Martha Ourieff Diamond, PH.D., David J. Diamond, PH.D.

I hope some of this helps to make sense out of some of what you are feeling and if you ever want to talk about how you feel you can reach me at my AOL instant message screen name Karalynnree

Kara

[sandramac]

:grouphug: Sending you understanding Hugs.Sandra

[grace 2]

Just wanted you to know that I'm keeping you in my prayers :pray: :pray: I know everyone is different and has their own circumstances,heartaches, joys, God just has a unique plan for each of us, for you. :) It's a good plan! What a rough road though! I have not lost a baby, but did have a hard time concieving. My heart goes out to you. On a note of encouragement (I hope) When finally I did concieve, I found out on Mother's Day. I felt like God was letting me know it was a gift from Him, not just a coincidence that I found out on Mother's Day. I'll be praying! Grace

[dancemomof2]

:grouphug:

[grumplefuz]

well I took a test...it was negative, and im relieved, but still no period which is making my body crazy hormonal.....
i suppose the changes in meds and everything has to be doing it.

thank you all for your encouragement.
i woke up this morning (its my birthday) and my hubby had all these home-made cards strung and stuck on everything in my morning routine...from the heater where I sit, to my messenger bag for work, to the computer, to the coffee maker....it was so cute.
He has always been everything good when all I see is bad.
i would give him the world.

God taught me a couple of years ago when I lost the babies to not focus on what I lack...but to be so thankful for everything that makes me soooo very rich!!


xoxoxx
shana ;)

[grace 2]

:birthday: Sounds like you have a wonderful husband! Hope you had a good day! (My b-day is tomorrow!) Grace

[grumplefuz]

happpy Birthday Grace!!!

[grace 2]

Thnank-you! I had a good bladder day today :woohoo:

[Babs RN]

Hang in there--I know you here that all the time but I have been where you are now. I had 4 miscarriages before I carried a baby to term.

Hugs,
Barb