zeran
03-06-2006, 03:59 PM
When you married your mate "for better or worse" you probably weren't planning on this. Interstitial cystitis (IC) commonly makes sexual arousal and/or penetration painful. You don't want to cause your partner pain, so you tend to avoid sexual intimacy.
If you're the one with IC, you might find yourself fearing sex. If you experience pain with intercourse, you might begin to associate sex with pain, and you lose interest in the activity. In some cases, a person with severe symptoms can lose the ability to become aroused.
Will your love life change with IC? Yes, but it doesn't have to end. Romance, intimacy, and even sexual intercourse are possible, with a lot of love, patience, and some adaptation.
Maintain Intimacy
The first rule in sexual intimacy is the same for someone with IC as it is for anyone else: Communicate. Talk with your partner about your situation, your feelings physically and emotionally, and your options for sexual fulfillment. Honestly assess your needs, expectations, fears, and limits.
Reassure each other of your love. The pain caused by IC is neither of your faults, so don't feel guilty or take anything personally. Together you can work out a realistic plan for showing your love and affection for each other. Be sure to agree on alternatives to sexual intercourse for those times when symptoms make the act too painful. Remember that intimacy doesn't have to include intercourse. Holding hands while you stroll in the moonlight, kissing, relaxing to a favorite CD, or cuddling together on the couch are some ways you can show your love.
Be willing to adapt the way you make love. When you feel "in the mood," experiment with various positions or different ways of stimulating each other. Several options for position and practice are mentioned on the Interstitial Cystitis Association and Interstitial Cystitis Network web pages.
For women, it's important to lubricate. Regular sexual activity and drinking lots of water helps, but many women find it's not enough. It's not uncommon to use as much as half a tube of K-Y jelly or other lubricant during each sex act. Also for women: be sure to thoroughly cleanse your genital area before and after sexual activity. Use cool water and no soap.
Finally, consider talking with an expert. Your health care team can help you with physiological solutions. A good counselor or sex therapist might be useful in helping the two of you improve your sex life.
Pay attention to pain; and enjoy your forays into new and creative levels of intimacy.
- Paula J. Wart
If you're the one with IC, you might find yourself fearing sex. If you experience pain with intercourse, you might begin to associate sex with pain, and you lose interest in the activity. In some cases, a person with severe symptoms can lose the ability to become aroused.
Will your love life change with IC? Yes, but it doesn't have to end. Romance, intimacy, and even sexual intercourse are possible, with a lot of love, patience, and some adaptation.
Maintain Intimacy
The first rule in sexual intimacy is the same for someone with IC as it is for anyone else: Communicate. Talk with your partner about your situation, your feelings physically and emotionally, and your options for sexual fulfillment. Honestly assess your needs, expectations, fears, and limits.
Reassure each other of your love. The pain caused by IC is neither of your faults, so don't feel guilty or take anything personally. Together you can work out a realistic plan for showing your love and affection for each other. Be sure to agree on alternatives to sexual intercourse for those times when symptoms make the act too painful. Remember that intimacy doesn't have to include intercourse. Holding hands while you stroll in the moonlight, kissing, relaxing to a favorite CD, or cuddling together on the couch are some ways you can show your love.
Be willing to adapt the way you make love. When you feel "in the mood," experiment with various positions or different ways of stimulating each other. Several options for position and practice are mentioned on the Interstitial Cystitis Association and Interstitial Cystitis Network web pages.
For women, it's important to lubricate. Regular sexual activity and drinking lots of water helps, but many women find it's not enough. It's not uncommon to use as much as half a tube of K-Y jelly or other lubricant during each sex act. Also for women: be sure to thoroughly cleanse your genital area before and after sexual activity. Use cool water and no soap.
Finally, consider talking with an expert. Your health care team can help you with physiological solutions. A good counselor or sex therapist might be useful in helping the two of you improve your sex life.
Pay attention to pain; and enjoy your forays into new and creative levels of intimacy.
- Paula J. Wart