Why do I keep trying?

[pottywoman]

I'm suppose to have the cysto done tomorrow and now I wish I had never bothered my Uro about the extra weird pain. No matter what my life will never change. I'm just a nobody. Will always have the stupid IC and can't take anymore pills. So, I just should not have bothered him about it. :shake:

[SandyRN]

Awwwwww, sweetie, I'm so very sorry that you're feeling the way you do. Don't know if you've noticed my absence from the board lately, but I've been feeling down as well. It's a viscious cycle that all people with chronic illness face and you're totally normal to have these feelings.

You aren't bothering your uro, and if he considers your asking for treatment a bother then you need a new uro. You might get some relief from it..(are you having a hydro too?) .I know I did after I got over the initial healing period.

You're not a nobody....you're a fun, witty lady and I for one have a lot of respect for you because you've been through so much and you keep on keepin on. You come on here and make people laugh, and help people with your experiences. You are definately SOMEBODY to me.

Yes, you will probably have IC forever, unless we all get lucky and they find a cure, but sometimes the best things come out of times of adversity, and what I mean by that is that we here on this board were fortunate enough to have you become a member of the ICN.

I know how you feel, I honestly do. Some days I just cant even get dressed because I'm so down.

Please, please know that you're not a nobody....we ALL go through what you're going through. I'd love to get to know you better so if you'd ever like to chat, please pm me, or email me through the board. I could use a dose of your sense of humor :)

Big ole hugs from one sicko to another! :) :grouphug:

Sandy

[IC SARAH-CPP]

I agree 100% with what Sandy said!! You are a very special person and we recognize that, you should to. Sandy is also right about the cycle w/pain and depression. I have been so depressed lately as well but coming here makes me feel better. I try to look at it like we are even more special than other people because we have been dealt such heavy loads, yet so many of us come here to help others and ourselves. We are unique!!
You said you love your uro right? Well I am sure he doesnt mind your coming to him with new symptoms, that is what he should take care, that is his job.
I hope your cysto goes well. please let us know. We are here for you.
Take Care
Sarah

[emilyrose197377]

I hope your cysto goes well and it helps you find out what is wrong so your uro can help. The ladies are right you are somebody and we all care about you. It's normal to feel that way I have been feeling that way alot lately because all of the problems I am having.

:grouphug:

[pottywoman]

I don't feel like I am helping anyone here. Mostly I complain and after awhile I'm sure that gets old. Yes, I do love my Uro (bladder wise of course) and I know he doesn't mind me bothering him but I just seem to do nothing but complain now for years and years. I told him a long time ago I was afraid I was driving him insane. He said no I wasn't. Just having the cysto done so he can see if anything new is going on in the bladder. It's really no big deal but mind wise I'm not ready for it now. Was last week but that always changes.

Sandy, I really don't remember making you laugh or anyone. If the world would have left me alone when the heparin first started helping I could have delt with this. Would have a fews days of "blah" but not "dark blah" all the time. 24/7

I really don't know how to live or handle this anymore. I'm not going to jump or anything just don't know how to feel like I'm someone and be happy again.

[SandyRN]

I sent you a pm..go read it lil missy ;)

[poetgirl]

You're a good person -- you are not a nobody! I'm glad you talked to your uro -- it's his job to find out why you are feeling pain and to help treat the symptoms, so you're not bothering him.

Chronic illnesses and pain cause a drain on your body's natural energy levels, which is one of the reasons why you tend to feel depressed. Please talk to a counselor, therapist or minister if you are really having difficulty coping with your situation. You shouldn't suffer -- physically or emotionally. We care about you and want you to feel better.

:grouphug:

[BigFig]

I don't feel like I am helping anyone here. Mostly I complain and after awhile I'm sure that gets old. Yes, I do love my Uro (bladder wise of course) and I know he doesn't mind me bothering him but I just seem to do nothing but complain now for years and years. I told him a long time ago I was afraid I was driving him insane. He said no I wasn't. Just having the cysto done so he can see if anything new is going on in the bladder. It's really no big deal but mind wise I'm not ready for it now. Was last week but that always changes.

Sandy, I really don't remember making you laugh or anyone. If the world would have left me alone when the heparin first started helping I could have delt with this. Would have a fews days of "blah" but not "dark blah" all the time. 24/7

I really don't know how to live or handle this anymore. I'm not going to jump or anything just don't know how to feel like I'm someone and be happy again.
Pottywoman, I am one of many that you have helped. Without your posts and others I would be in the dark about everything. I can't begin to tell you how all of you (my IC sister's & brother's) have given me the strength to carry on and how to deal with this disease. I have learned about diet, treatments, other "sister" diseases, relationships, medications, etc...just to name a few. Oh, and your name alone cracks me up. I sure hope you feel better. I read your post last night and my husband needed to get on the computer, so I was unable to reply until this morning. I want you to know that you where the last thing on my mind when I went to bed and the first thing on my mind when I woke up. So. please know how important you are to all of use. Especially us newbies, who are learnig from all of you. Thank you and hope your procedure goes well and remember that's what he is there for-YOU!

[pottywoman]

You guys seem to have better memories then I do. I know what everyone is saying should make sense to me but it just doesn't anymore. I can't even keep the house clean which bothers me a lot. Don't think everyone relizes how much all of the IC bothers me. They still don't get it. Therapist is out of the question. The only person I really ahve to talk to is my uro and a few of the nurses. I think he puts up more with me then some of the nurses.

I need to get off of here and will write more when I can get back on. The cysto went fine and he said my bladder looked really well, which I don't see how since I have all the pain ect. but he said that is from inside the bladder walls which I knew of course. I'm just really tired from it all.

Thanks everyone

[Dixiefireball]

Honey we all get scared, and time to time we lose control and let IC take over our lifes. ::::i raise my hand I did it more then once:::::
But honey we control what happens in our lifes. Yes we even control IC I know you sitting there saying okay Rhonda has lost her mables. We control what we do today we control what we do tomorrow. We must sometimes slow things down a bit or yes granted me may even have to take a pill, but we can't let IC get in our way of living.
Sounds like you have a understanding a caring Dr. Lord know there are way to many of us you doesn't here and suffers awful. I'm lucky I have one of those Dr. but it took me making a heel out of him a few times before he became the loving, caring dr. I needed. Every day we all learn something new. You come to these boards and you offer support. You help a newbie know there not alone. Yes it okay to vent that is what a venting board is here for. Lord knows I've used it my fair share then some. We all end up in the dums from time to time, but at least here we have our IC family and friend to pick us up. Why? because we understand and care about each other. You do the same for others I've seen you!
smile honey you know your loved and needed. You do a wonderful Job helping others. Now honey help yourself. Let your uro see what is going on inside that bladder so that he can help you start feeling better.
We love you hon!!!
sending you hugs and prayers for better days ahead.
Rhonda

P.S
i've had many hydro/c with the removal of hunners so many I can count and each and everytime i get nervous, scared and want to back out but the reason i don't is because i know after he goe in an looks we will have more answers then we did before.

[Baba Yaga]

Pottywoman you also contribute far more than the help you've given others. I am always happy and cheered to bump into you in a thread, and I read what you post with interest. I am not happy to read that you are in any kind of pain or hurt, but you are no less entitled to support than anyone else here, and so many people are fond of you and care about you and will do what they can. Poeple would be truly distressed if they ever learned that you were suffering and afraid to speak of it here.

Spring is coming, don't forget. :grouphug:

[pottywoman]

Rhonda, You are right. I don't see how I can control my life with the IC. See, I don't really have anything for the pain. Tens helps but not the much. Do know I couldn't live without it. Pain pills I can't take due to they make me sick and everyone says that is awful to take them. I'm a drug addict if I do. I tried to explain to them how much pain there is but they don't get it. I hear...I've never been in labor or had an operation or something.

BigFig--glad you like my user name. I have an awful time remembering anymore so had to come up with an easy name. I really thought someone else would have had it.

I am glad spring will be here soon but then I'm not. Another summer of missing out on holidays, vacations ect. Just another summer of staying home. I just don't know anyone except my Uro and the ones who work there. They were all in a very good mood today. They had me laughing. One thing he did say was (had to pee in the old cup) that my potassium was up. Which has never happened before ever. He said it could just be from the test but he wants to keep a track on it. He said if the kidneys start to go bad that is what causes it. I'm really doubting there is anything wrong with my kidneys. Gee, I've been drinking tons of water lately too.

I just wish I could have a little bit of a life that's all. I don't want pitty and yes there are people worse off them me in the world (which I hear a lot of) but that still does not make it any easier for me.

Thanks for making me feel like I am something somewhere in this world. :)