Books for those of you who didn't get pregnant due to infertility.

[Kara29]

I am reading two books at the moment regarding infertility and what happens if your dream of becoming pregnant doesn't come true. I searched the internet for days until I found these books. I am happy with both of them.

One of them is called: Sweet Grapes: How to Stop Being Infertile and Start Living Again by Jean W. Carter

The Other one is Called: Unsung Lullabies : Understanding and Coping with Infertility by Janet Jaffe

You can find summaries and reviews on each of these and more books on this subject at Amazon.com

I a finding both of these books helpful in getting through the loss of not being able to have biological kids and what step to take next in life.

Just thought I would throw some of my tools out for any of you who may be looking to read about getting through infertility and moving on.

In love and support to you all!

Kara :)

[holles]

kara,
thank you for posting the titles. i've read "sweet grapes," but i've never heard of the other one. i'd like to read it sometime. another book that really helped me was "water from the rock." i can't remember the author, but it was wonderful.

it is so hard trying to heal and move on. we stopped ttc 2 years ago after trying 8 years, and it's hard to get it out of my mind. old habits die hard. moving on to accepting life without children (husband does not want to adopt) was the toughest step of my life, and i still struggle with it. but i hope things get better. finding encouragement is important. and i'm always looking for something to read that helps me cope. one of these days i'll be able to look at babies and children again. it's just taking a long time for me to get to that point.

good luck in your journey and as you decide where to go from here. it's definitely not something we planned. but if we learn even one thing from the struggle, then it wasn't all wasted. my mom told me God has bigger things in store, and that i'll need the strength and wisdom i gained from this for those bigger things. now i just need to find out what His plan is.

(((hugs)))

[Kara29]

Holly,

Thanks! I'm glad I am not the only one who can't have babies and we are not adopting any time soon or at all at this point! The Sweet Grapes Books is really good, although I am still having trouble looking at babies and children as I am mourning and grieving right now. I wish there was a magic pill to make those feelings go away. They are aweful and embarrasing. The hardest part is that all of my friends are pregnant right now or already have kids. It's painful. I am working on finding a grief counselor. My therapist is not cutting it right now in the grief department she also has 7 kids and doesn't know what pain is like with IC. I am going to look up the book you mentioned. I will read anything to try to get through this!

HUGS,

Kara :grouphug:

[jen48446]

Thanks!! I'm gonna see if I can get them & read them too, I too have my down days, sometimes difficult to get through too :grouphug:

I've been collecting information on adoption which we hope to start the process in the next year if all goes as planned!!

[kadi]

Another good book is "Shattered Hopes, Renewed Hearts". It's a Christian perspective on dealing with disappointment, includes infertility.

Due to the severity of my IC developing when I quit the birth control pill, I have chosen not to try to have a baby. The chances of my becoming too sick to care for a child and the fact that I am the 3rd generation to have IC (and it seems to have started younger & more severely each generation) made this decision pretty clear for me.

It isn't as hard for me as for others, I think, because I am not married or dating, but I still needed to cope with the loss of a hope and I found the book I mentioned to be helpful, along with working with a life coach on the issue.

Wishing you better days soon...

[Kara29]

I wish we had life coaches in Upstate NY! The therapists here are aweful. I am just 2 years shy of my own therapy degree but am way to sick to take classes of any sort even via the computer. I would love to go back someday and beome and IC/Infertility/Living Childfree Therapist. A life coach is more on the lines of what I am interested in right now. My favorite show is called Starting Over which originated in Chicago but moved to LA. It about starting over with life coaches and an AWESOME Psychologist! I would love to send a tape in to go myself, but I am too sick to go even if they had asked me to. I thought it would be a nice way of getting the word out on IC and Fertility/ Birth Control but I'd probably never get on. It's not dramatizing enough........Hollywood anyway!

I am glad you worked through your issues on not having biological kids.

I pray that life leads you in a great direction that you are happy with!

Kara

[kadi]

Hi there,
I like Starting Over too, just think though, if they tried to tape us, they'd film a lot of the bathroom door!

I gave up on therapy when I first got IC, I found that the 3 different therapists I consulted had NO IDEA how to deal with issues around serious illness. Some of the suggestions were just a waste of money, others insulting AND a waste of money.

I'm not saying there are no good ones out there, but life coaches are a possibility to look into if therapy isn't seeming right at this time.

Am praying that you find peace around your decision at this time and that new and beautiful possibilities open up for you....

[Calliegrl03]

I hope you guys find some peace with your infertitity, but I do think adoption is a wonderful thing. There are millions of children who need and deserve loving parents. They, are all of you, are suffering too.