Divorce on the Way, need support

[littlemyrn]

In an hour I am going to my in-laws to break the news that we have decided to get a divorce. Really this is a long time coming, but when you are still friends but nothing else it is hard to make that split. I have been sad now for about 2 years, he is just not there for me emotionally and he has told me over and over he doesn't love me like you should love a wife and I feel I deserve better. We have two kids 18 and 8 and hopefully my husband and I are going to put their needs first and not have a bitter divorce. We are very civil and are going through a mediator first just to work out property settlements and child custody. Of course I will have full custody, because he works around 70 hours a week. He is a CPA. So what I need from you girls is support. Hope to hear back from some of you soon.

[Janie Miranda]

:grouphug: :grouphug:
So sorry that you are going through this difficult time. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

[Baba Yaga]

:grouphug:

I am glad you can at least decribe the two of you as friends right now. Your children are lucky for that too.

My parents are divorced and my father is remarried, but my parents are still friends and my mother is friends with my stepmother. I am extremely lucky that way. The are decent people (though human), and my mother is not a resentful, rancorous type, unlike how I might be in her situation.

I don't know Tennessee law, but one thing that bothered me about Indiana law, where my parents divorced, was the division of property. The settlement doesn't, or doesn't have to, reflect the sacrifices the wife often makes for the marriage (like not putting any, or as many, years into a job that would leave her with a pension, or not going as far in education). I hope you voice all that you think is fair in your mediation sessions.

[Babs RN]

Ahhh...Franklin...what a great city. We sold our house in Clarksville last year and I love Cool Springs. My prayers are with you and your impending divorce. My hubby and I have come very close frequently over the last few years and are finally healing. Please PM or email me if you need to unload.

Hugs to you and your girls,
Barb :grouphug:

[Cali girl]

I'm so sorry. I know divorce is difficult. I have been to that point a few times in my marriage. But have been able to work it out. I'll say a prayer for you and your family. Sending hugs and kisses. :pray: :grouphug: :kissing:

[ICNDonna]

Divorce is difficult any time. I'm so glad you are able to handle this in a way that will be less difficult for your children. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

Donna

[ihurttoo]

You know I have been worried about you for awhile. I am glad that your husband has agreed to be civil about everything. You are right, you do deserve the whole package from someone. I know it hurts no matter how long overdue it may be. If you ever need to talk, pm me, and I will give you my number. I want you to know that I care, and I dont want you to sit at home having any pity partys by yourself, after all, a party's not a party unless I am invited! :) I may not know all the right things to say, but I am a good listner. Besides, I like to consider my company at least one step above being alone! I am glad that you are reaching out for support here. You are among friends, and we will see you thru this! I am sending you big hugs of support!! :grouphug: :kissing: Love, Amy

[TexasHoney]

:grouphug: :pray: I am sorry to hear that things didn't work out.

Hang In There
TexasHoney

[creatingkarma]

I'm sorry that you're going through this. You do deserve someone who loves you with all his heart. I hope this goes as smoothly as possible for you & your children.

[Kara Isabel]

I have been through a divorce and it is painful! But looking back, I don't regret a thing. I don't really know what to say, but am offering a big HUG!

:grouphug:

Kara

[SharonA]

:grouphug: and :kissing: Divorce is hard, no matter the reasons. I am so hope that you will be able to work together for the good of your children. If the two you can remain friends, it will be easier on them. They won't feel like they have to choose between Mom and Dad.

[littlemyrn]

Thanks all for your support. We have promised to stay as friendly as possible for the children's sake. My in-laws were wonderful. Of course, they were not happy, and my motherinlaw, said she wasn't surprised. So again thanks, I knew I could get the support I needed from here.

[liznazz]

I am sorry to hear about your divorce. I just went through one last year. Similar situation--my ex was not there for me emotionally and kept thinking of IC as a "temporary" illness that would just go away. A few months after diagnosis ( sex was out of the question at this point) he found himself a new girlfriend and "fell in love" After 22 years it was quite a betrayal, but I do have to say, that my life has been much calmer without the stress of a man who was not willing to commit fully and be there for me emotionally. Yes, it is sad, and I've had my moments of tears, but I still have my sons, my job, my friends and my family. My prayers are with you at this time. We too have remained "somewhat" friendly as I still have a hard time accepting this new "woman". The stress level decreases. Hang in there, my thoughts are with you. liz

[steelerfan]

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through a divorce, and you do deserve better, no one should stay with someone that says they dont love them. I am sure it is going to be a tough road for you, but keep your head up high, and know that we are all here for you if you need us. I will keep you in my prayers.