ICNJess
12-08-2005, 05:54 AM
Ok I am going to try really hard to post in a manner that doesn't make any one get lost or confused so hang in there with me lol...
Alrighty so my mom and I were talking about a baby shower. All my family is in Chicago, and most of them are too elderly to travel, and my sister can't make it up here because well it's a whole other story, but she's got two younger kids who don't travel that well. Anyway, so it would be my friends and my in-laws. But here's the thing with my in-laws...they are horrible.
For one thing, my SIL has voiced her hatred towards me to everyone but me. She has hated me since she laid eyes on me for some odd reason...I'm actually pretty shy when I meet people, so she took that as me being a snobby rich b*tch...by the way I'm not even close to rich.
So lately my SIL has been telling everyone what a horrible mother I am going to be and how I don't know what it's really like to raise a baby. She has a toddler (she tried to trap her ex-boyfriend by getting pregnant because he's wealthy, but it backfired because he wants nothing to do with her). Anyway she tells everyone I am lazy and crazy and that I am going to suck as a mother, etc.
My MIL is not much better. She was not excited at all when she found out I was pregnant, and she makes little jabs about my pregnancy to hubby that are not at all desireable. He doesn't talk to her much anymore, there's a big story behind that...and this, among the big reason, is why I don't want them at my shower and why hubby said not to invite them.
For one thing, my MIL forced us into Chapter 7 bankruptcy this year. We were paying our bills on time and everything until this mess happened. My hubby, before we were married, bought a car in 2002. It was an '02 but used, but still up there in price. He could afford it, and was making payments. Then we got married and we were making payments and making ends meet because I was able to work. Then my IC just got worse and worse, so I filed for SSI.
We then realized we couldn't afford this car payment, so we put it up for sale. We had it pretty much sold to one of hubby's co-workers. Then my MIL calls us hysterical one afternoon. My SIL (the witch) had crashed her jeep and totalled it. She was 8 months pregnant at that time, and couldn't get a loan anywhere for a car. She needed a car to get back and forth to work and what not. So she made hubby give it to SIL. (Hubby's and SIL's step-dad, MIL's husband, is the co-signer on that car).
We went up to MI and got it licensed in hubby's step-dad's name. He was sitting right there when SIL agreed to make all the payments and promised that she could afford it and would make payments. Fine. This was in summer of 2003. Months go by and all of a sudden we are getting phone calls from the place the loan is through, Wells Fargo. Hubby does not know why they are calling and they aren't leaving messages. Finally he calls them to find out what is going on, and he finds out that a payment hadn't been paid in months! The balance was now way up there in the thousands and if we didn't pay it they would repo it!!!
So hubby gets on the phone with MIL and they battle...she says hubby should go out and get another job and make the payments from now on for SIL. Hubby says, "no, I work a full time job and some over time already!" MIL says, "Then tell your lazy wife to get a job!" Excuse me???
Have I mentioned that my MIL and her hubby have millions of dollars, play the stock market, have private CD's and all those sorts of investments?? And her hubby is on the title and loan!
So they battled for months--my SIL refused to get a job (she had quit her well paying job because people were talking about how she got "knocked up without being married" etc.) Guess she can dish it out but she can't take it? And she refused to ask her "sugar daddy" for money for it. So it ended up getting repo'd because we could not make the payments and we could not get the money to make that astronomical payment of thousands.
My MIL then began to call and harrass my hubby. "Call Wells Fargo and tell them you will pay, and that it's all your fault that payments haven't been made. We'll drop the car off at your house and that way they can see for themselves," she says. By the way, she didn't tell her husband any of this was going on--even though it's in his name and this is his credit going to hell in a handbasket.
Well they took the car and auctioned it and all this crap and so the new payments was ridiculously high. Wells Fargo even saw that the last payments had been coming from my SIL and MIL! Unreal! So we sought out legal advice, and we told them of all my medical bills (that was in the range of $60,000) and he suggested chapter 7 anyhow, that way we couldn't be held liable for the car and they can go after my MIL's hubby now.
Phew got all that? It's been a real mess with them. I had my SSI trial in Oct and got approved basically on the spot, but got my official letter in the mail. I just want to scream and pull out my SIL's and MIL's hair.
My MIL is still calling once in awhile, to badger my hubby for money for this. Hubby says, "Mom, we filed chapter 7 because of you guys and now we have a baby on the way, we're finally getting our feet on the ground." (All my prenatal care is covered 100% under our insurance thankfully and now I'll have Medical Assistance) and do you know what my MIL had the nerve to say???
"Well because of you I might have to file chapter 7 and lose everything!" BS! Then hubby found out she's been paying SIL's bills on credit cards and not telling her hubby, so she put all the credit cards in one of those debt consolodation agencies. This poor guy does not know how bad his credit is right about now...
ANYWAY so now that you've all got the big picture here--here's the problem--
If I invite my MIL (because above all else it is the decent thing to do, though we've already made a rule that if they want to see their grandchild, they have to come here to do so) I will have to invite my SIL or else it will get worse than it already is.
If I don't invite my MIL, I just know that somehow word will get back to her and she will make hubby's life even more miserable than she has tried for the past 23 years. I just feel like I am breaking up his family or something, and this is the last thing I wanted. They blame me for everything, and every time she talks to Chris (hubby) she makes these comments about me and I hear him arguing with her. I hate that she puts this stress on my hubby and I feel so guilty. But he told me not to invite them to the baby shower.
I just want to make things right somehow, even though my own hatred for them burns inside of me so bad that I could kill this women before I let them hold my child. I feel like it would be letting the devil himself hold my baby! I don't let Chris know the depth of my hatred, as this is still his family, but he knows I really dislike them.
What do I do here??? One advantage is that they will be here on my terms, and my mom hates them so much as do my friends that if they make one crooked comment there will be a group of protective women hurling their butts out of this house.
What should I do???
Alrighty so my mom and I were talking about a baby shower. All my family is in Chicago, and most of them are too elderly to travel, and my sister can't make it up here because well it's a whole other story, but she's got two younger kids who don't travel that well. Anyway, so it would be my friends and my in-laws. But here's the thing with my in-laws...they are horrible.
For one thing, my SIL has voiced her hatred towards me to everyone but me. She has hated me since she laid eyes on me for some odd reason...I'm actually pretty shy when I meet people, so she took that as me being a snobby rich b*tch...by the way I'm not even close to rich.
So lately my SIL has been telling everyone what a horrible mother I am going to be and how I don't know what it's really like to raise a baby. She has a toddler (she tried to trap her ex-boyfriend by getting pregnant because he's wealthy, but it backfired because he wants nothing to do with her). Anyway she tells everyone I am lazy and crazy and that I am going to suck as a mother, etc.
My MIL is not much better. She was not excited at all when she found out I was pregnant, and she makes little jabs about my pregnancy to hubby that are not at all desireable. He doesn't talk to her much anymore, there's a big story behind that...and this, among the big reason, is why I don't want them at my shower and why hubby said not to invite them.
For one thing, my MIL forced us into Chapter 7 bankruptcy this year. We were paying our bills on time and everything until this mess happened. My hubby, before we were married, bought a car in 2002. It was an '02 but used, but still up there in price. He could afford it, and was making payments. Then we got married and we were making payments and making ends meet because I was able to work. Then my IC just got worse and worse, so I filed for SSI.
We then realized we couldn't afford this car payment, so we put it up for sale. We had it pretty much sold to one of hubby's co-workers. Then my MIL calls us hysterical one afternoon. My SIL (the witch) had crashed her jeep and totalled it. She was 8 months pregnant at that time, and couldn't get a loan anywhere for a car. She needed a car to get back and forth to work and what not. So she made hubby give it to SIL. (Hubby's and SIL's step-dad, MIL's husband, is the co-signer on that car).
We went up to MI and got it licensed in hubby's step-dad's name. He was sitting right there when SIL agreed to make all the payments and promised that she could afford it and would make payments. Fine. This was in summer of 2003. Months go by and all of a sudden we are getting phone calls from the place the loan is through, Wells Fargo. Hubby does not know why they are calling and they aren't leaving messages. Finally he calls them to find out what is going on, and he finds out that a payment hadn't been paid in months! The balance was now way up there in the thousands and if we didn't pay it they would repo it!!!
So hubby gets on the phone with MIL and they battle...she says hubby should go out and get another job and make the payments from now on for SIL. Hubby says, "no, I work a full time job and some over time already!" MIL says, "Then tell your lazy wife to get a job!" Excuse me???
Have I mentioned that my MIL and her hubby have millions of dollars, play the stock market, have private CD's and all those sorts of investments?? And her hubby is on the title and loan!
So they battled for months--my SIL refused to get a job (she had quit her well paying job because people were talking about how she got "knocked up without being married" etc.) Guess she can dish it out but she can't take it? And she refused to ask her "sugar daddy" for money for it. So it ended up getting repo'd because we could not make the payments and we could not get the money to make that astronomical payment of thousands.
My MIL then began to call and harrass my hubby. "Call Wells Fargo and tell them you will pay, and that it's all your fault that payments haven't been made. We'll drop the car off at your house and that way they can see for themselves," she says. By the way, she didn't tell her husband any of this was going on--even though it's in his name and this is his credit going to hell in a handbasket.
Well they took the car and auctioned it and all this crap and so the new payments was ridiculously high. Wells Fargo even saw that the last payments had been coming from my SIL and MIL! Unreal! So we sought out legal advice, and we told them of all my medical bills (that was in the range of $60,000) and he suggested chapter 7 anyhow, that way we couldn't be held liable for the car and they can go after my MIL's hubby now.
Phew got all that? It's been a real mess with them. I had my SSI trial in Oct and got approved basically on the spot, but got my official letter in the mail. I just want to scream and pull out my SIL's and MIL's hair.
My MIL is still calling once in awhile, to badger my hubby for money for this. Hubby says, "Mom, we filed chapter 7 because of you guys and now we have a baby on the way, we're finally getting our feet on the ground." (All my prenatal care is covered 100% under our insurance thankfully and now I'll have Medical Assistance) and do you know what my MIL had the nerve to say???
"Well because of you I might have to file chapter 7 and lose everything!" BS! Then hubby found out she's been paying SIL's bills on credit cards and not telling her hubby, so she put all the credit cards in one of those debt consolodation agencies. This poor guy does not know how bad his credit is right about now...
ANYWAY so now that you've all got the big picture here--here's the problem--
If I invite my MIL (because above all else it is the decent thing to do, though we've already made a rule that if they want to see their grandchild, they have to come here to do so) I will have to invite my SIL or else it will get worse than it already is.
If I don't invite my MIL, I just know that somehow word will get back to her and she will make hubby's life even more miserable than she has tried for the past 23 years. I just feel like I am breaking up his family or something, and this is the last thing I wanted. They blame me for everything, and every time she talks to Chris (hubby) she makes these comments about me and I hear him arguing with her. I hate that she puts this stress on my hubby and I feel so guilty. But he told me not to invite them to the baby shower.
I just want to make things right somehow, even though my own hatred for them burns inside of me so bad that I could kill this women before I let them hold my child. I feel like it would be letting the devil himself hold my baby! I don't let Chris know the depth of my hatred, as this is still his family, but he knows I really dislike them.
What do I do here??? One advantage is that they will be here on my terms, and my mom hates them so much as do my friends that if they make one crooked comment there will be a group of protective women hurling their butts out of this house.
What should I do???