Help!

[BIG_MISTAKE]

Where do I begin? This is my first time coming to the message board. I guess I will begin telling you I have been in a relationship for 7 years. For all of the 7 years, I have had no sex drive. My boyfriend has asked me to get it fixed and I kept ptting it off, thinking it would get better "all by itself" :loco:

Needless to say, that hasn't happened and my relationship is as he puts it "over". I can't live without him and I am willing to do whatever it takes to keep it alive, if I can. :hmm:

He is telling me its toooooo late to start changing things now. I am so upset with myself and i don't know why I havent fixed this problem 7 years ago. I love him to death and he feels that I dont love him because I did nothing before, and now that he has cut the ties between us I am willing to fix myself. He doesnt want sex from me anymore because he says he feels as though he is forcing me and I have really really hurt him. :toilet:

Please Help me....what can I do to help him? I need him to know that I love him and I am willing to change and get help for him. How can I tell him its not too late? :help:
:headbang:

[ICNDonna]

You didn't mention it in your post --- do you have interstitial cystitis? The reason I ask is that any response I could give you would be related to sex with IC and if you don't have IC, the only advice I can think of is to talk with your physician.

Donna

[Pac168r]

Lots of us here are on a lot of meds. and in pain, thus a reduced sex drive. Is this the case with you?

Have you read the Patient Handbook's chapter on sexual issues?

I know it's hard, I had to say no to my husband yesterday.

I was a walking shell of myself yesterday and had to put all my energy into baking and attending my family function. As good as he can be -he truly doesn't understand. I could feel the cold shoulder all day.

I hope your problems resolve soon.

Paula

[tigger_gal]

I agree with Donna,
Its hard to really give out advice on sex if you don't know that it is or could be IC related..
I also couldn't really give you any advice you and your b/f without knowing if you have IC.. I can say that this has been brewing a while for him to break all ties, and it has had to been mentioned.
hugs

[BIG_MISTAKE]

Thanks SO Much guys! I dont have IC that i know of.....hmmmm
Heartbreaking situation.

[Dixiefireball]

Big Mistake. I agree with the others If you have IC it would be easier for us to help you.
Since you don't know of you having IC it would be best to go to your primary care doctor to have them to help you or give you advice to whom can help you solve your problem. With us having IC its painful to make love to our partners at times.
You really need to seek out answers from your Dr. I hope it isn't to late to fix the problem with your boyfriend, but i do agree with Tigger this does sound like its been brewing for a long time for him to up and leave.
What ever the reason behind you not wanting to make love with your boyfriend I'm sure your doctor will be able to help you.

I wish you the best.
Sending you hugs and prayers

[traceann]

Hello there!

I have to agree with the ladies, your best bet is to talk to your doctor. There are so many things that can decrease your sex-drive, that would be the first place to start.

I am sure the situation with your bf is really wearing on you too. I certainly do hope you two can reach some sort of solution, one way or the other. There are so many ways a person can show their love someone, and to me sex is just one of them. But, when it's missing... it's seems to be all that one focuses on! ;)

Hugs!