Wanted! Your favorite Holiday Survival Coping Strategies

[icnmgrjill]

Hey folks, I'm on a tight deadline, currently working on an article about surviving the holidays and really wanted to hear from you about what you've found to be the most helpful to help you get through the holidays in an IC friendly kind of way. Think about newly diagnosed patients... what can we share with them that will help make this holiday easier!

All ideas welcome!

Jill

[tigger_gal]

What a great topic.
Try to avoid the no no foods as much as possible, if you do eat them make sure you have your meds on hand and heating pad handy.

Try to avoid all stress... even having a good time with your family can cause under lying stress your not aware of.

If at all possible, make your self some safe IC friendly goodies and/or food to take with you if going out to families house, so you know whats in it.

If you start feeling bad and are in pain, take that time out for you and sit down or lay down if you can..

Try not to push yourself to much..

[massagedoula]

Cook your own IC-friendly Thanksgiving, or at least some side dishes you can eat so you don't get miserable during the meal because you are hungry! I cook the whole Thanksgiving, it is a chore but worth it when I can eat everything! (I have never had IC for a Thanksgiving yet, but I was vegan for many years so I am used to it).

[dyno]

Pace yourself and your activities and don't be afraid to say no if it is just too much.

[IC SARAH-CPP]

Sloooooooow down and remember to ENJOY the holidays! It IS NOT all about buying($$$$) and receiving!! I think this is really important for everyone, but even more so for ICers. We tend to get tired quicker than most and taking the time to soak it in and rest makes a whole world of difference in how you view the holidays.
Love Sarah

[July]

Begin preparing early, such as when planning dinners, decorating, scheduling events, and ESPECIALLY GIFT SHOPPING! Start early with the gift shopping so you can avoid the crowds and traffic, especially if car rides bother your IC. Internet shopping is a great. If you get your shopping done early, you can actually sit back and enjoy the holidays. Now, to live by my advice.... :) I'm always jealous of people who are done by Thanksgiving with their shopping. :)

Another tip would be to find time to indulge in things you loved about Christmas when you were a kid that make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside...like watching holiday movies!

[ICNDonna]

One thing our family started two or three years ago for Christmas is that we only buy real gifts for the little ones. For the rest of us, I decorated Christmas shopping bags with each family members name --- then we find silly things to put in the bags, which are lined up in front of the fireplace. It's a real kick --- last year we laughed so hard it was almost painful! And everyone voted to do it again and turned in their bags at the end of the party.

And we did a pot luck for dinner so nobody had to do the whole thing.

We're back to not dreading Christmas!

Donna

[Casi]

Those are some great pointers! I was dxd in March, so I haven't experienced the holiday season with IC yet. I thought that on Thanksgiving I can fill up on corn, turkey, mashed potatoes, and homeade bread with LOTS of real butter, oh yeah and I think I can have pumkin, so maybe I can have pumkin pie w/o a lot of cinnamon and other spices that go into it.
Resting and not over doing it is a big thing I think, I will not wait until the last minute like I used to, it's worth the stress. I can't wait to enjoy being with family member I haven't seen in a while, I just hate explaining this disease. Maybe I'l give them the paperwork and say "read this" this is what's been going on with me :biglaugh:
THis Christmas I plan on getting real creative with making things with carob!
I love carob, it pretty darn good since I can never have chocolate again!
In fact I've got a great EASY homeade brownie (using carob chips instead of chocolate chips) recipe I would like to post on here, can someone tell me where it can be posted.

I'm still new to this disease and look forward to reading more suggestions!
Once again thank you for this site and I'm so glad it's so supportive. This site helps me see light during very dark times.

:angel:

[yvette]

hmmm...the holidays...well if I'm hosting its not that big of a deal...

If I travel...I bring an extra bag (or and extra really big purse) with meds, including P+, elavil (works wonders with unexpected IBS-d) heating pad, poise pads and I use a cushion in the car or fluffy towel to sit while in the car.....those one time heating pads can be great too--all that New England cold weather can really wreak havoc on the pelvic muscles. Even if I leave the big bag in the car....it close by in case I need it and not left at home. Bring extra clothes to change into even....

Wear comfy clothes....pull on pants are best--they expand with dinner ;)

Eat something before you leave the house....or pack your own dinner/sandwich/snacks....just in case everything has something that is questionable you won't be starving

Bring a bottle of water with you....I've learned my lesson...sometimes only coke, wine, coffee or Dasani water is available (eek!)

And remember any coping skills that relax you and control anxiety.

[Sarojini]

I like everyone's suggestions so far.... I do have one to add... maybe get a copy of the ICA's little book "Because You Care". It is written for those who are caregivers, family, or friends of someone with IC, and is excellent at describing what IC is like. Keep a copy or two with you for those instances where someone asks you what IC is and either doesn't get it or looks at you like you have two heads and tells you to drink cranberry juice and the "infection" will go away.

Also, I loved the suggestion about taking it slow and savoring the holiday. So what if you don't get everyone the most fabulous gift ever -- just something small, to say you were thinking of that person, is enough. :)

[Kimchi]

Donna I love your idea about the bags filled w/ goodies for the older folks. What a neat idea. We get sort of stressed about having to buy for my hubbies family which is rather large and they are never up on drawing names. Now all the kids are grown too and they expect us to buy for them, of course, they never return the gift giving. I guess they are too busy being young adults! I was thinking of skipping out on all of them this yr. I am a grinch! :mad: Seriously though, I am not in the mood for xmas this yr.

[ICNDonna]

What started our family on the bags was a lovely letter from my youngest son and his wife, explaining that they were going to forego gift exchanges for the adults in both his and her family. I think it was one of the nicest letters I have ever received simply because what it did was rescue me from spending hours and hours spending money I don't have trying to find gifts for people who don't need them. It was like a huge weight had been lifted.

And my Christmas shopping money went to purchase gifts for needy children --- my daughter and I shopped for several children from information for our local "Wish Tree." It was sooo easy because we actually had lists of what the children needed, as well as what they would like to have.

Donna

[Kimchi]

I really love that idea. I think I am gonna run that by my husband's side of the family. We beg them every year to not swap w/ the older folks and they say okay & then you get to the house, and there is all this swapping going on, including giving us gifts! It's really embarrassing! :cussing:

[Kimchi]

I really love that idea. I think I am gonna run that by my husband's side of the family. We beg them every year to not swap w/ the older folks and they say okay & then you get to the house, and there is all this swapping going on, including giving us gifts! It's really embarrassing! :cussing:

Oh, what I like to do for xmas is make a whole bunch of cookies, all sorts of different kinds ( I love to bake), then I wrap them up some how cute. One year I had my child decorate paper sacks. Then I put a few of each cookie on the plate and give those as gifts to friends and family. Also, one year, I did up a really nice basket for my mom and put a cookie cookbook in it. It was a hit!

[ICNDonna]

Our Christmas bags have contained everything from tiny bottles of bubble soap so we can blow bubbles --- to sidewalk chalk, lottery tickets, comic books --- it's just silly things and we do this kind of shopping at our Dollar Store! As the family arrives, they go past the bags and drop in their "gifts."

Then after dinner comes show and tell! and lots of laughs.

Donna

[angelaharrell]

Yvette,

What's wrong with Dasani? I haven't seen any posts on this before. Oh gosh, I drink that stuff all of the time!

By the way, great suggestions everyone! I like ICNDonna's post about Christmas Bags. Most of us with IC can't work so Christmas in a very sad way becomes a burden. I'm going to suggest it to my family!

Thanks again

[yvette]

Angelaharrell: :) Perhaps I should clarify...I don't do well with Dasani...my take on it as to why it messes with me: one its only municipal (aka tap) water that's been modified and I think they overdo with items/minerals(???)

I know this has been a discussion with ICers before....and I've actually had this same discussion with non ICers too. I don't tolerate Aquafina either....but I will drink if I absolutely need something..

If you do great with it...definitely more power to you! :D On the flip-side....I'm having coffee now and I do fine with it for the most part....

[PenguinK]

I love the ideas on here! This will be my second Christmas with IC. I did my shopping last year on overstock.com and out of the LTD Catalog a friend gets in the mail. It saved a lot of traveling and waiting in lines. All I had to do was pop them into bags with tissue. :)

I will make the No Bake Oatmeal Cookies from the IC Workbook, and take along my own "big bag" of extras. This really helps when you get in a flare away from home. We travel back to my family home -350 miles away, so I have a donut pillow for the trip (if by car) and we stop at every rest area to stretch and use the restroom.

Bottled water is a MUST, Dasani seems to be very popular now and there is often no alternative. Plus, the little heat pads are great! Walmart has the hand warmers for gloves with 8 in a pack for only $1.24!! I got a few packs because they are smaller to fit between your underwear and your pants. I think I will use double sided tape to secure them. This is Wonderful for soccer games in the cold or anytime your Pelvic floor muscles, urethra, etc are spasming.

Happy Holidays!
KK

[tigger_gal]

Donna,
I love your idea with the christmas bags..

[Rosalie]

There have been so many ideas here for gifts and cooking - check out the arts and craft threads. With Christmas coming we all need swap ideas.

Some years ago we decided to have a Kris Kringle with a monetory limit. Everyones name and wish list goes into seperate envelopes and we all pick one. We only have to buy one gift and because of that (I come from a very large family) we can buy something really nice. We still give to the little children but its not hard coming up with reasonably priced gifts. I like the excuse to make a gift for them anyway.

[MelissaJ]

The ideas so far are great. In my dad's side of the family we do a gift exchange so you end up only having to buy (this year I am making a t-shirt blanket for one of my younger cousins) one gift. We draw names in the summer time and if I am going to buy a gift I try to do it as early as possible to avoid the stores once December hits. On my mom's side of the family we do a chinese gift exchange. WE usually pick a theme, like everything has to be green or something silly like that. We never spend more than $10 and it usually ends up with all of us rolling around on the floor laughing. So in the end I end up really only having to buy for my mom, dad, brother and whoevers name I draw, plus the gift for the chinese gift exchange. My friends and I don't exchange gifts which makes things a lot less stressful.
My family is used to me having IC so they are usually pretty good about making sure there are things I can have, plus I am vegetarian so that sort of serves as a double reminder for them I guess.
The other thing I do is if I am going to do any Christmas baking I start early and I do it over a couple of weekends so it's not overwhelming. I found an awesome recipe for fudge made with carob chips on vegweb.com last year as well if anyone is interested. I gave some as gifts to my coworkers and they didn't even notice the difference.

[Rosalie]

Melissa, I'd love that recipe for the fudge. Is it an easy one?

[kdfurgi]

My husbands family does the drawing thing for the kids, where i have two kids so i buy two gifts for kiddos and only the ones under 18 who still live at home get included so it is fairly easy. for the adults we get something for his mom and dad, sisters, and his grandmother; last year I made dream catchers for everyone and added a charm of some kind that reminded me of them...a shoe, a dolphin, a cat just whatever struck me. (i can try to teach anyone who wants to learn to make them they are fairly easy, and keep your hands busy when you are in bed for the day).

on my side of the family we buy for the kiddos, which is less than 10 that actually come for the holidays, and i think i already have all there presents either in my closet or on layaway. I still buy something for my mom and bro but otherwise it is fairly easy, and my and my hubby only buy something for each other that will fit in our stockings so the boys think santa filled them, lol. oh to be that aga again....

anyway, this year i am going to make jars with cookie recipes in them and put the recipe on a tag attatched to the jar, that way all i really need to go buy now is decrative jars and the ingredients.

this will be my second christmas with this disease and i learned last year to make sure that i bring a bag with the essentials: bottle of water or two, the little hand warmers(the double sided tape worked for me last year, was my moms idea, lol she has been a life saver), an extra change of clothes(2 bathrooms + 50 people = a long wait) for me and the boys, and all my meds just in case there is a problem.

plus last year my aunt, who understands diet restrictions really well because she has diabetes, gave me a whole pan of something we call "cowboy bread" it taste really good, is sweet so you can have it for desert, and is really ic friendly from what i have heard. i will find the recipe and post it somewhere. i took it to my inlaws last year because they are real big on sweets but not so big on subtracting the chocolate, fruit and nuts :rant: but this recipe really helped me to be good and stay away from the no nos.

anyway, this is just my 2cents and i will stop babling now :biglaugh: see you all soon and i will go find that recipe now.

kari :grouphug: remember if anyone wants to know how to make a dream catcher (the real thing t=not the store bought) i can help out, by the way the little packets at the stores that show you how to make them can be really confusing

[Rosalie]

Kari, it is Kari? My brothers partners name is Kari and we just love her to pieces.
The name has been a tradition, it is her grandmother's, mother's and daughter's name.

There is now a forum for Arts and Crafts. I, for one, would love to know how to make a dreamcatcher. I was given one a few years ago and it hangs by my bed.
This cowboy bread sounds interesting too. Would you please post the instructions and recipe on that thread? You are so right about the written instructions in some products. You have to wonder who wrote them - if they were into the wacky-tobacky!

[kdfurgi]

ok, i will post the instructions for the recipe as soon as i can find it, might have to call my aunt and get it again, lol. i loose everything. as for the dream catchers i will find the arts and crafts forum and try to give a list of stuff to buy and then the instructions on how to make them, however yall might have to message me if you have questions cause sometimes it is easier to show how to make them than tell but i will do my best, :idea: if i have to i can get on my yahoo messenger with the web cam and have us in a confrence room and show everyone while i do it so you will have a picture to follow. any ideas are welcome and i will try to post it on the craft forum in the next day or two, we are a little busy this week. :bonk: i have to make "worm dirt" pudding snacks for my kindergarters class for his 6th b-day!!! and plan a party at the park with a pinata for all of them too, lol. anyhow i will get to it as soon as possible.

kari

mine isnt tradition, but on my hubbys side, his grandma is christine, aunt kerry, cousin kristine, and her baby is kari too but it is spelled wierd and i cant remember how too spell it, lol it has a "gh" "y" "a" "k" and i think "ie" in it but im not sure what order :biglaugh:

[MelissaJ]

OKay, since Rosalie asked here goes.
(oh just a quick note, if you can't use some of the ingredients in here, then just substitute them or leave them out. I.e. if the thought of raisins makes your bladder do somersaults, then don't use them.) THis recipe also uses peanut butter, which I am not sure about. I can tolerate it, but I don't know about others and I'm not sure what would happen if you omitted it (of course since it's from a veggie site they mean the all-natural peanut butter without all the additives/sugar. I guess it would just be melted carob with fruit and nuts which would probably be pretty good.
Ok, on with the recipe....

Incredibly EZ Carob Fudge (as found on the vegweb site)
1 1/2 cups peanut butter (smooth or chunky it's your choice)
6 cups carob chips.
1/2 cup raisins
1/2 cup diced dates
1/2 cup slivered almonds
1/2 cup coconut shreds
1/2 cup milk (actually it's a vegan recipe so it calls for soymilk, but most of us can't tolerate that)

Combine the carob chips and the peanut butter in a large saucepan over medium low heat. Add the milk and stir occasionally until completely melted. Add the remaining ingredients and pour into a 9x13 casserole lined with foil or plastic wrap. Chill. When firm cut into pieces.
(the recipe says it cuts into 30 pieces, but I got more last year so I guess it depends on who is cutting)
Anyhow, I hope this recipe is OK for the majority of us.
Melissa

[Rosalie]

Thanks Melissa, sounds yum! I have printed the recipe out and will have a go ASAP.

Ok Kari, "worm dirt"? Just gotta know what that is!

[kdfurgi]

"Worm Dirt" is not for us but my kids love it and thats what my oldest wants for his school party, it is really easy to make, but it still isnt for us "ICers". any way here is the recipe for anyone that wants to make it for their kiddos.

Prepare 1 pkg. each (4-serving size) Jell-O Vanilla Instant Pudding and Jell-O Chocolate Instant Pudding separately, with 2 cups each cold milk, as directed on packages. Let stand 5 min.

Gently stir 1/2 cup of Cool Whip Whipped Topping into each bowl of pudding. Finely crush 20 Oreo Chocolate Sandwich Cookies, then sprinkle 1 Tbsp. into bottom of 8 (6-oz.) dessert cups. Top each with 1/4 cup vanilla pudding, 1 Tbsp. cookie crumbs and 1/4 cup chocolate pudding. Sprinkle evenly with remaining cookie crumbs. Refrigerate at least 1 hr. or until ready to serve.

Insert 2 gummy worms into each dessert cup just before serving. Makes 8 worm dirt cups. the picture is cute on kraftfoods.com but it is called "oreo sand and dirt cups" there.

im going to have to double the recipe for the kiddos cause i need 18 servings but it was a rel big hit at his prek halloween party, instead of worms i put whip cream ghosts on it with chocolate chip eyes, lol.

like i said its not good for me and most other icers that i know, but the kids really like it, and as long as it is not jello (i get a real bad allergic reaction if it touches my skin for some reason since i started taking elmiron) i have no problem with making it. my choices were "worm dirt" or a jello "castle" like i made for thier easter party last year (when i got the rash from the jello) so i picked the worm dirt, lol.

the castle is from i mold i found in walmart that is a bunt cake rubber pan that you just peal the mold of the cake or jello in this case, but it takes forever for it to set cause you have to use i think it was 5 difrent boxes of jello.

anyhow, thought id give everyone the recipe and let them see if they thought thier kiddos would enjoy it.

kari

[mayray518]

Favorite holiday has always been Halloween. Always great parties around my area, Washington, D.C., and the weather is nice here then. Love dressing up and pretending to be someone without IC (ha)

[creatingkarma]

The past 3 years, I have changed our holiday traditions. We used to run all over the city to my husband's mom's, to my husband's dad's, to my dad's family get together, to my mom's. It was way too much for me, especially with 2 kids. Well, now we stay home on the holidays. If someone wants to see us, then they are welcome to come here. I get a lot of grief from our families for this decision, but it's the best one I've ever made for myself & I will not budge.

[July]

Creatingkarma,
I have discovered also that the most happy and least stressful holidays are when you have no plans and commitments and can just have a peaceful day!

[MelissaJ]

Hey Jill, I just had a thought. Maybe everyone could contribute their favourite IC-friendly recipe for the holidays and we could put them all in one post or something so they're easy to find. Or maybe someone has an ic-variation of a holiday favourite they'd like to share. I know I'm always looking for new recipes for the holidays.
Melissa

[trytosmile]

I LOVE the holidays so I'm geared for it early. I try to keep myself as organized as possible. I depends on notes, notes and more notes.

Generally start my shopping in September. AT this point 75% finisheded. I LOVE the holidays so I'm geared for it early.


I have a "holiday" calendar. Use if for parties, made notes of when I need to do this or that, ideas etc. I keep a list from years past of what I've bought who and throughout the year I keep tabs when people say "I'd like a.....". Come shopping time I always have lots of ideas. Usually more than I need so the unused ideas go to the birthday notes...lol.

My Christmas card list is on my computer so I just need to print off nice Christmas labels. Cards are always done early, stamped and ready to mail. In fact it is that time of year. Always buy my cards, paper, bows, after the holiday season. Ready for next year and always on sale !!!

I'm sure I will come up with more ideas !!! I think I'll do my cards tonight, have all the stuff I need...cards, labels. Have the stamps too cause I buy 100 at a time...lol.

Remember always take time to smell the Christmas tree !

[trytosmile]

Ok, it the send button and thought of something else.

A good variety of Nature or musical CD's You can even get nature "holiday" CD's or musical CD's.

I find the sounds of water in the background or a gentle sound of a flute relaxing and helps to destress. I find it helps me stay in the holiday spirit. Doesn't drive you to a state cause you've heard Frosty the Snowman 25 times in 3 hours on a radio station !!! and it is only Dec 2.

[massagedoula]

MelissaJ

Thank you SO much for the fudge recipe. I am always looking for sugar free desserts (sugar is a trigger) , so I am about to go down and try to make this right now...I just found sugar-free carob chips, so I am ready to go!

[Amyinagony]

Some really great ideas and wonderful recipes here. I LOVE Donna's idea.
I have had to learn over the years to not let stress interfer with my Holidays, I just can't, it is not worth it and is not enjoyable either. In my house, there is no spectacular shopping or buy binges. WE do not over decorate, over spend, or over stress for the holidays, we enjoy the holidays as they are meant to be enjoyed and not the over commericalized version of it.
We usually start the day after Thanksgiving, a little shopping here and there, a little decorating here and there, and just take one day at a time. The holidays always come whether or not we are 'ready' (so it's said). So we just take them coming as they are and enjoy them.
That's what works for me.

[jen48446]

Boy are these recipes making me hungry:) I LOVE to bake, actually the last few years, finances have not permitted to buy gifts so I decided to bake cookies, boy was it ever a HIT!! Now, everyone's expecting cookies every year so the heck with it, it's cheaper & much more appreciated!!! I make snickerdoodles (my late mother in law's recipe), chocolate chip, and peanut butter. The hardest part is NOT eating them as they come out of the oven #1, and keeping my cats out of the peanut butter ones, my "son" (cat) loves peanut butter, LOL!! I'll gladly share recipes for those who are interested. Also part of my other "secrets" are that I use Pampered Chef baking stones, & I don't measure exactly, I usually go with heaping cups & spoon fulls...the heaping idea comes from my mom & I just like the taste of the baking better in & on the stoneware, and it's much easier to clean!!

Jen

[greyrabbit2]

xxxxxxxxx
Hi Jill
When grocery shopping it helps to stay near the outer walls of the store.
Most isles have prepared foods and sugar additives. So just hit the produce section, dairy/eggs, meat/fish, and so on. Usually the sale items will be at the end of the isles. So you won't miss out on them. Think "danger zone" middle isles.
Try not to do any baking for christmas. It's really hard not to make those old time favorites. Stay away from the fudge and candies, and if you must indulge make ginger snaps, vanilla wafers (without the frosting), christmas bread, pumpkin pie, etc and eat nuts out of the shell.
Love your new site Jill. It is easier access and really quick. With a special personal touch.
Diane McKee
Portland, Oregon