Seriously considering giving up (rant!)

[dharmakitten]

Well, I hate to feel like a quitter, but this diet is driving me nuts. I've been on it since August (with admittedly, a few slip-ups). Sometimes I feel like it is helping, but other times it feels like things are just as bad. Things were definitely worse when I had sweet tea or the Nestle water, but I still have problems at times for no reason it seems. Maybe it is the water I'm drinking. I'm going to try to drink ONLY Evian for the next week or as long as I can, but it is SOOOOO expensive here. Maybe it's the meds I'm on - but I have to have birth control. If I don't take Spirnolactone my acne is horrible. And there are other meds that I need. And if it something else, like sugar, I don't know what I'll do because I can't restrict my diet anymore. I absolutely HATE cooking nowadays, and although my husband cooks for me sometimes, I feel at his mercy. And the only reason I got on this diet to begin with was because of the sexual pain. I'd do anything to help my marriage. But that is NOT getting better. I can deal with the urgency - I have for over a decade. I have excuse notes for school now. Sometimes I feel like things would be so great if I was normal and didn't have to worry about peeing all the time. I worry about working as a teacher. I worry about my college graduation ceremony over a year away. But if it's just the different between going 40 times a day and going 20 (not actually sure on the numbers)....I don't know if it's worth it. Before my diagnosis, my husband and I ate out at least once a week and someplace really nice - and at other places throughout the weeks. That was our fun thing to do together. Our thing! And he's been so patient. He's more or less given up eating out along with me. And it kills me not to be able to go eat out with friends and family like I used to. Or try lots of new things without worrying about the consequences. I LOVE asian food, mexican food, everything ultra spicy. I can't do this forever. And I think, maybe I could just eat problem foods less than I used to and not cut them out all together. Maybe I could find some balance and it just be good enough. And if it didn't work, try try try again. Maybe if it hurt enough and the frequency was bad enough it would motivate me again. And maybe the meds I've start for my fibromyalgia will help somehow. I don't know. It's just so hard.

[vm]

It IS hard, isn't it? :( It's so hard to give up the foods we have enjoyed for so long. Wish I had great words of wisdom - but I think you've probably heard it all before. Just know I'm thinking of you as you struggle with this. :kissing:

[Babs RN]

Yup, I have the same feelings sometimes. Not only do I pee alot,have pain, and leak, I have had to give up some of my favorite foods, which sound alot like yours. I love Mexican food, Chinese(Gen Tso's chicken especially, and Italian. My favorite drink since college is Dr. Pepper--just to name a few. As I hung around the house over the weekend, I thought alot of what you wrote in your post(were you reading my mind?)and realized that even with baby steps things look brighter. Rather than desparing the future, I am going to take it one day at a time. Beyond that it is too overwhelming. So with each beloved morsel of food or swig of soda that I don't ingest, I have given my self a gift of decreased pain, frequency, and urgency. Please don't think I am on a soap box with my remarks. I have had a very trying 72 hours between the fiasco with one of my consults, poor pain control, nausea, and vomiting this weekend. Hang in there and know that you can vent to me any old time.

Hugs and feel better,
Barb :grouphug: :kissing:

[dharmakitten]

Thanks, both of you. I really needed to hear what you wrote. As much as I hate knowing how many people suffer like I do and wouldn't wish this on my worse enemy, it still feels good to know I'm not alone in this. Just knowing that someone understands - since so few people do among those I know personally. And to remember, that life goes on and all I really can do is take it one day at a time - and that's ok. That's a good thing. And that's whether I stick to the diet perfectly or say the hell with it. But I think I will be trying in the upcoming weeks and months to find some balance I can live with both physically and emotionally.

[Babs RN]

I am just starting to find a balance again. Along with the IC starting in 2003, I decided to stay at home with my now 5 year old after working pretty much continually since high school, seeing a bunch of twerp military doctors who know nothing about IC and therefore upended my plan of care every 6 weeks or so. I am pending a pain management appt at UCLA, have a new uro as well, am continuing to see a therapist (to deal with stress, chronic illness, hubby in Iraq, etc)and trying to lose some of my type A tactics and letting everything gradually fall into place. You are a wonderful person, your posts are intelligent and insightful. Hold on to that, you are worth it.

Hugs,
Barb :love: :grouphug:

[ICNDonna]

I find I do better with the diet if I concentrate on the things I can have. When I'm feeling down, I sometimes splurge and buy T-bone steaks for us and cook them over our gas barbecue. And I totally am addicted to white chocolate.

Donna

[traceann]

Hey Dharmakitten, I know exactly what you are saying! When my hubby still lived 4 hours away, in the Detroit area, he was only up here on weekends. Needless to say, we tried to fit a week's worth of "relationship" into 2 days. So it totally sucked if my bladder was being unruly. One of our hobbies before IC had become cooking on Saturday nights and wine drinking (not excessively, lol). But when all the IC stuff came along, that got ruined. And it was our thing too!! That during the winter, and escaping to our favorite pizza place late in the evening in the summer was our other activity. And it was more than about the eating, it was our "couple time", our time to "reconnect", uninterruped - and we always ended up having the most amazing conversations (we weren't married yet), about us, the future etc. Again, here came IC and that was something it hurt to give up. Seems like not being in the home, but out together like that was pretty special to us. That to me was one of the hardest things to say goodbye to.

But, as time has gone by, and the longer I have been on my meds, slowly but surely it's all starting to resume fairly normally -- just now with a few restrictions. It was tough at first to eat out. It seemed overwhelming. But now, I make modifications as needed or when we go out we make sure it's someplace I can get a meal that's friendly, my good old stand-by usally - steak!! LOL ;)

And in the beginning, I never doubted that my diet would expand. I knew there may be some things that I couldn't do, but never doubted getting back most of my favorites. Made it much easier to take, thinking on it as only being temporary...this is what I needed to do NOW for my health and well-being. I would see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Just keep up the good work, it's not easy, that's for sure. It's funny how many of my friends look at me in disbelief when I report a new food I was able to tolerate -- generally it's something they take for granted. So, no it's not an easy thing to do!! :)

Hugs!!! And brighter days ahead.... ;)

[dharmakitten]

You are a wonderful person, your posts are intelligent and insightful. Hold on to that, you are worth it.

Hugs,
Barb :love: :grouphug:

Thank you SO much! That really means a lot to me.

[dharmakitten]

Well, I did break down and have two slices of pizza last night - home made (by my hubby) with pepperoni and parmesan and of course, tomato sauce. I definitely paid for it last night and this morning, though. Oh well. Maybe that's what I needed to get motivated. We shall see.

[traceann]

LOL, yeah I think we have all "fallen off the diet wagon" at one point! ;) I know it seems crazy to do to yourself, but sometimes I think it's needed for our mental well-being, does that make sense? I have discovered I love my pizzas now without sauce, very yummy. Even hubby who was skeptical about that, tried some of mine and he ended up eating a couple pieces! I get my sauce on the side and dip my slices into it, I get the taste with way less sauce...and my Prelief are taken of course...LMAO :)

Hugs!

[Lisa Person]

I'm glad to hear yall talk about this, I'm new to this about the Ic diet, given up five worst, and my bladder has really calmed down, but really depressed about the eating out on Fridays nite, my husband favorite activity is going out to eat. I don't want to give up Friday nite, then we go out with a group after church on Saturday, looked at the olive garden menu felt like there was nothing to eat really put me in a :hmm: funk, I think I can do good during the week but those weekends may have to cheat a little. I'll try to still maximize the foods you should have and minimize those you can't but you got to eat and enjoy once in while. :bunny:

[csocain]

Like all of you, it was very hard in the beginning to limit myself to the IC diet things that I could tolerate. I wondered if I'd ever be able to eat much again. Then I discovered that I am gluten intolerant and there went more and more things out the window from my diet. More adjustments to make. But, as I've discovered since I started eating gluten free, I am now able to eat more of the IC "okay" foods, so now my diet has increased rather than decreased more. By eating what I was supposed to eat, I am now able to eat more variety than before. Yes, I still miss many of my favorite foods, but, like Donna, I try to concentrate on what I CAN eat, not what I cannot. Since my stomach is better, I can now eat Pay Day candy bars, white chocolate, and caramels!!! Awesome! I guess I say all of this so that you will know that there are better days ahead as you follow the IC diet and your bladder calms down so it can tolerate more and more of a variety of foods. These days I can eat most fruits and many spices that I could never tolerate before. Hang in there and don't give up. Better days are yet to come. I'll be praying for you in this. Blessings of hope and peace to you and yours.

[dharmakitten]

On the plus side, I have noticed that not all problem foods are as bad as others for me. The pizza was a big no no (though I had more tonight), but the dark chocolate shake from Steak & Shake (the one I have waited a month to try) didn't seem to bother me as bad. And neither has mayo. It's hard to tell, though, since I've rarely tried just one thing at a time.

All in all, I could skip pizza for a long long time and not miss it - except if I really wanted to go to those pizza socials all the groups have at school (too busy anyways). And alfredo or sauceless pizza is fine by me.

For some time I knew that sweet tea bothered me - even before the IC diagnosis. That's hard to give up, being born and raised in the south and all. But, I sort of did that before the IC with the exception of an occasional sip from my hubby's glass.'

All in all, an adjusted diet with mayo and the occasional chocolate flavored dessert sounds a lot more livable.

[traceann]

Hey Lisa, have you tried or do you even like, lol, Fettucine Alfredo? That seems to be ok for most of us out in restaurants!! ;)

Glad to hear some of your faves Dharmakitten are tolerable!! I too even in the beginning, just couldn't give up entirely on my marinara sauce, so after I got my bladder calmed down, I would like put a whole tbsp, lol, on my pasta and take like 4 Preliefs with it!! I'd be in the bathroom peeing every 20 minutes for an hour or so afterwards, but it was worth it!! LMAO!!! ;)

Hugs!

[Lisa Person]

Thats funny you said Fettucine alfredo, My husband suggested that when we were there . I tryed it once but did'nt like it at all. Itryed there chicken garlic broccoli it was awful. I was hooked on Bruschetta nono though. and Minestrone soup double whammy. Thanks for giving me the suggestion. I may just be down to salad and breadsticks. :) :)

[traceann]

Um, hmmm, another thought for you, what about Shrimp Scampi, if you like shrimp that is, lol. I also like chicken scampi when not in the mood for shrimp. But that might be another idea for you, or if they have a pasta tossed with a pesto sauce, that's always worked for me. I love Olive Garden, one of my favorite places to eat!! LOL Mmmm, bruschetta... must be getting close to lunch time... I didn't care ever for the chicken broccoli thing either, had it once and that was enough! Funny, love all those things too, but thought the sauce was really bland, to me anyway!!! LOL :) Oh yeah, and watch out for the salad dressing, which is a drag too, it's my favorite!! UGH....

Hugs! ;) I'll keep thinking on it....

[kjones1]

I have been trying to follow the IC diet for the last couple of weeks. I do okay with avoiding coffee, soda, and chocolate. I have been allergic to caffeine so I gave them up along time ago. Its been harder to give up my acidy foods like tomatoes and lemons and not that I drink a lot (im not an alcholic or anything) but I used to enjoy a glass of wine with dinner a couple of nights a week as a way to relax and remind me of my semester in italy. Has anyone been able to drink wine with the help of prelief or anything else? I am in the beginning processes of getting diagnosed and making life changes to help with my IC like symptoms. It is so hard to give up the things that you love. Need some motivation and hope from others that I will one day be able to enjoy good food, good wine, and great sex again . :)

[traceann]

Hey there kjones, and big warm :welcome: to you!! I know, the diet at first is quite a challenge, to put it nicely, :biglaugh:

In most respects it's generally only super restrictive in the beginning to give your bladder a chance to calm down, then to keep it calm to help it heal as best our broken bladders can, :biglaugh: In the beginning for me (right before and around diagnosis) I was super diet sensitive. I stayed super strict the first 3-4 weeks until I felt my bladder calming down. Then I started reintroducing foods back in. In the first few months (probably after eating strict for a couple months) I tried a tbsp of marinara on lots of pasta, and used my Prelief. It caused me some discomfort but nothing outrageous, so once a week, after eating known safe foods for the week I would treat myself to some marinara on my pasta on Sunday's. It's all a balancing act in the beginning, I'd eat one way so I could eat another at some point in the week, and not put two baddies together like a small glass of red wine AND pasta with Marinara. It was one or the other...and a couple of days apart...LOL!

But now that I have been on my meds for about a year (it will be a year next month for all of them), my food tolerances have greatly improved, I can eat just about anything now, but I still use Prelief and practice the "moderation of no-no foods". Better safe than sorry!!! :bonk:

I just wanted to say I understand how frustrating it is, check out the Diet message board, there's usually some great ideas over there to keep you from getting too bored with it!!

Hugs!

[kjones1]

Traceann, Thanks for the kind words. I am planning to be pretty strict for the next two weeks or so and see how it helps me before I go in for my appointment with the urologist. You and others have been so helpful in decreasing my anxiety about IC. I am getting married in June and attending graduate school for my doctorate in clinical psych. I got sick at the beginning of the semester and my life has become out of control. I am trying day by day to heal and get my life back. How long have you had IC for? What meds do you use? Any info would be greatly appreciated. Hope you are feeling well-Kelly

[ICtheLight]

Parmesan was on my maybe list, I tried the dried stuff with no ill effects. this led me to the discovery that I can have pesto! At last something with flavor.

I needed a convenience food and I like fish. After searching I found gortons beer batter cod fillets were the only ones without MSG etc, I do fine on them too.

On the bright side, those pickled and smoked foods that I always ate were doing nothing for my breath or my intestines so I am better rid of them.

Has anyone been succesful with cream cheese, flavored or otherwise?

I haven't been out to eat yet. I realize I can probably order a white pizza, roasted or grilled meat, salad with no dressing. Not sure what else...

[traceann]

Hey there Kelly! Yeah, it's tough in the beginning, trying to navigate all the changes, plus just dealing with a cranky bladder on top of it! :cussing: It's a slow process, but you will feel better I'm sure. IC is one that requires patience...ack, I have none when it comes to wanting to feel better that's for sure! :biglaugh:

I have been on my medications (Elmiron - 100mg 3x's a day, Ditropan - 5mg at bedtime and hydroxyzine 25mg at bedtime) a year this November, but have been dealing with IC much longer than that. Just didn't know what the problem was, and kept putting off going to the doctor. (not really smart, I know :rolleyes: ) My first "experience" with it was in 2000, but it went into "remission" before I ever found out what I was dealing with back then. It came back (well, when I noticed something not right) in Jan/Feb of 2004. I think this second time around frequent urination and lots of nighttime trips were my first symptoms, but I dismissed them as just being a girl who pees a lot! :biglaugh:

It was slow, but I am now feeling MUCH better and closer to my "old" self. I am much less diet-sensitive now, thanks to the meds. But like I said, it was slow going, every day was a little bit better, a very gradual change. That's why in the beginning I kept my voiding/pain diary faithfully! I recorded everything, foods, meds, potty trips and their pain levels, how I felt emotionally, pain levels in general, sex -- anything that could impact my bladder got recorded. It was a great way to track how I was I doing, what might have bothered my bladder etc. And it helped me mentally to see better and better days in black and white. Sometimes the changes are so small, you might not notice. But when you have it recorded that way, a difference of one less trip to the potty every day, is pretty exciting to see!!! :woohoo:

Hugs!!

[traceann]

Hi and :welcome: ICtheLight, love the name! That's great and clever, ;) I am sorry I am a bit late in saying Hello!!

I have no problem with the brick cream cheese, most stay away from the kind in the tub and in the tub flavored, due to the extra ingredients to make it spreadable/flavored. I "make" my own. When I put mine on my bagels, I sprinkle with a bit of preservative-free garlic powder and dill...yum!!!

Hope to see you around the boards!!!

Hugs!!!

[ICtheLight]

Thank you TraceAnn, for the welcome.

The name is a bit corny but it reflects the fact that I am happy to finally have a sound diagnosis and I am optimistic to get treatment.] or at least a better understanding.

Good to know about brick cream cheese, garlic powder idea is nice too. Looks like I have to throw out that unopened tub of smoked salmon cream cheese that I have been hiding!

[traceann]

I don't think it's corny at all!! I love it, I like the clever names, my imagination was not on a roll the day I signed on here, LMAO!!! ;)

Yeah, I did the same thing with a lot of things I had just bought last November, at least some of it I could give away too, that made me feel better about it!! LOL!!!

Hugs!

[dharmakitten]

I love cream cheese mixed with lots of parsley and a bit of chives. Great on crackers. Also try adding dill. It's good too.