View Full Version : Invitation to family members to post
05-02-2003, 03:27 PM
Although any member can post on any board whether or not they are the IC patient or a family member, we would like to encourage non-patients to use this board as a place to come to ask questions about coping from the "other side".
What have been the challenges of spouses/significant others, maybe topics other than the sex/relationship board?
Is it tough to be a traveling companion, or have you found ways to compromise?
Are you ever discouraged about plans that have to be changed or hobbies that you have let go because of your partner?
(For example, I keep telling my husband he MUST do things that he would like to do dispite thee fact I may not be able to join him........how do you all face this?)
For ICers who are reading this.........maybe you could point your family members to this board if they DO have questions, or you feel that they would have something to contribute.
05-12-2003, 02:56 PM
I will see if I can get my dh on tomorrow after work maybe to answer some of your questions. Plus I think it would help me too, to know how he copes with my illness.
Here's my 2 cents............if I encourage my husband or any other family member to join in, there are going to be other topics they will beable to read and I'm sorry but I don't want my husband or my children involved in this safe place I have. If that's being selfish than so be it.
When someone posts something that I think would be of value to my husband or a family member, I print it out for them.
To "give" my family the encouragement to come here to me is like giving them permission to go thru my wallet or check book and that in my life is a complete NO-NO.
05-13-2003, 01:37 AM
sorry to say this but I agree with teri, I know this is a wonderful site but this is a safe place and there are just some things that we post of how we feel that we really don't want read....sometimes our loved ones say things that hurt us and we need to get it out, but in all due respect w don't want them to read what we post...
I hope you understand
I know that every time my husband and I fight, he can remember something from 10 years ago (but ask him where his car keys are)......if I didn't have this place, if my husband was into computers , I's be dead meat :o
I sure don't need to know that at the drop of a hat he can come here and read about my raw emotions and I would be living in a pile of sh$t for a very long time.
05-13-2003, 05:30 AM
awwww hugs Teri. I do know what you mean though. I wouldn't want my dh to read about everything I have said on here. I was thinking of having him come on the site in MY name Pulling everything up for him, and having him tell a little about how he copes with me being sick. No way would I give him his own "key" so to speak to come in here and invade my, as you said it, safe place. But I think it would be helpful to ME to know how he feels about all this, and how he copes. When I get downright hateful and spiteful towards him, how does he feel? Does he know I don't mean it and it's the pain talking, not me. I will still ask him if he would be willing to come on here and post how he deals with everything, but like I said before, I would bring up the page, exactly where he needs to go, and then let him say what he feels. I wouldn't just turn him loose in here. I feel that is an invasion of everyones privacy. I mean, I wouldn't want someone elses family to come in here and read that I wet the bed everynight. I try to keep that from my own husband, let alone everyone elses.
05-13-2003, 11:57 AM
Well if you all look back a post or two you will see why I added this post. Other people were "confused" about what this board was for. I agree that I wouldn't want anyone prying into what I write here, I was just trying to modify what had been happening on this board due to member's concerns.
Julie, I think what you are trying to do is good. For those who have husbands who would abuse the priviledge of posting here - they should not tell their hubbies about this at all. For those who have trustworthy husbands it could be a real asset. Each of us can make our own decisions on this one. :)
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