disappointed

[rachelm]

I'm so discouraged and disappointed. :headbang: I went to the dr. today for yet another bladder wash since I've been in a bad flare for the past few weeks. My husband and I were planning on TTC starting this month when I finish my pill pack. My dr. said since this is the worst flare I've had in the past year and 1/2 that he wants me to wait 2 more months. I'm just frustrated that something always seems to get in the way and we haven't even been able to start trying yet and I'm 33. I know I will come out of this flare but it just doesn't seem fair! We were planning on starting this summer but my husband lost his job so we waited.... now this! I'm getting older by the minute and I don't know how long the process will take. I guess I just needed to vent! Please pray that I can get through this flare soon so I can hopefully get on with my family planning!

Needing encouragement,
Rachel

[Tracey5399]

Hi Rachel,

I will be praying for you and hoping you feel better soon. I am 34 and would love to have a child. I am just so scared of being pregnant and being in IC pain. I give you alot of credit to want to try.

Tracey :)

[dyno]

I do hope you will come out of this soon. I would be interested to know why he feels you should wait because of a flare. Some people go into remission during pregnancy. It might be something to talk to him about it.

[ICNDonna]

What does your gyn say? As Jolene says, you might talk with your doctor about it.

Donna

[Melanie]

I agree, consult all your Drs. I don't quite understand why he's advising you to wait.

If you aren't already, consider charting your cycles. Taking Charge of Your Fertility is a wonderful book. It's helpful to start charting before TTC so you can begin to understand your cycle patterns. Plus it'll give you a warning if something could be wrong so you can start dealing with it sooner rather than later.

Check out the patient handbook for Considering Pregnancy advice. I wrote an article that has some helpful info.

[rachelm]

Thank you all for your support. My urologist is also my gyno too. He's a urogyno which I love because he treats it all. We've been planning the process of TTC for about a year so that I would be able to get off all the drugs, turn off my interstim at a good time, and be prepared for any other hurdles such as ovulation trouble. I feel like I have this great plan of attack from how many days to wait after the pill to when I will take an ovulation test ect. They don't want me to try for months before I check whether I'm ovulating or not. So I feel really blessed to have a very thorough Dr. and nursing staff helping me plan.

I usually have a flare in the fall but last year after my Interstim I didn't. He said he just wants me to wait for my bladder to settle down a bit. He suggested trying to get pregnant between my flare seasons so ideally that would be in December. He did tell me that there is a good chance I would have fewer symptoms once I do get pregnant. I know he is also taking into consideration my work load currently as well as gratuate school. Of course I don't plan on changing any of that when I start TTC either though.

Melanie, I will check out the book you suggested. I can't start charting cycles though until I'm off the pill. My dr. and nurse practitioner have both told me my best chance of concieving is the first month off the pill so maybe I'll get lucky. I am supposed to count 7 days from the day I would normally start my first pill pack and that should be ovulation. After the first month I will start the ovulation prediction charting as well taking the predictor tests. If after 1 month I'm not ovulating then we will discuss other possibilities. They have comforted me by letting me know that they don't believe in trying for a year at my age with no intervention. Hopefully I won't need anything but at least I know they believe in being proactive.

Thanks again for your support! 2 months will fly by with all that I am trying to do and hopefully we can start around Christmas. :angel:

Rachel

[Melanie]

Let me just caution you about one thing. When I went off the pill it took me over 6 months before I ovulated and got my period. (I've been through it twice - 2 separate occasions that I stopped taking pill. One was for personal reasons, the other for TTC)
So while your Dr and staff may believe that your best chance is the very first month off the pill... This is NOT true for every woman. Please ask them about this on your nxt visit.

If you are off the pill for 1 (or more) months and not ovulating, the next step is usually Clomid. I did clomid for 2 cycles with negative side effects (moodiness, bloating, dried up my cervical fluid, thinned my uterine lining). It's worth trying, but also consider asking about Femara. It's similar with less side effects.

I have many tips about TTC and coping with IC. When you are ready, let me know so I can share my advice.

Hope your flare improves soon!

[momw/ic]

Rachel,

Hey it's me! Good to talk to you again. DH and I went through about 4 years of TTC including clomid, artificical insemination etc... I am hear if you need me. It sounds like you have a great plan and will be able to pick up on any problems on the front end. It can be stressful but just hang in there. All the hard work (if it goes that far) will be worth it. I had infertility issues due to endometriosis.

Good luck with all of it and please pm me if you have any questions at all!

Pam

[Sherry5]

I'm sorry Rachel, that sounds so frustrating! You have planned so well, and something is always getting in the way. Not for long, I hope.

I have two sisters that took chlomid and it worked right away for them both. If it comes to that, hopefully it will work quickly. It sounds like your doctor is very proactive.

Good luck, and here's hoping you will go into remission with your pregnancy like I did!

[rachelm]

Thank you all for your words of wisdom! Pam thanks for the support! I didn't know you went through infertility issues so I'll know to PM you if I need advice. The dr. said that I would go on Clomid of Glucophage if I didn't start ovulating after the first month off the pill. I have also had the polycystic ovarian disease many years ago but since I've been on the pill for over a decade I've had no symptoms. It is for this reason that I wanted a clear and proactive plan of action. I don't want to wait for 6 months if I'm not ovulating right away so I'm glad my dr. will put me on something to help start the ovulation process if I need it. I've had friends whose dr. want them to wait for a year to see if they can naturally start ovulating but my dr. says there is no reason to wait for something that might not happen on it's own. Hopefully like I said earlier, I won't even need to go to our plan B and C but I know the drill now if I do. Bottom line is I won't know until I can finally go off the pill.

I'm so glad there is a community of mom's and mom's to be on this board so as I get closer to my goal of TTC and pregnancy I will have some experienced women to chat with about my concerns. You all are great!

Rachel

[Babs RN]

Rachel,
I have been through the endo/PCOS thing and came out on the other side with one very loved miracle child. I had always had gyn problems as teen that went undiagnosed. By the time I got married at 26 my plumbing was certainly trying to be uncooperative. I had my first adhesionolysis the next year as well as some excision of endometriomas. Lost my right ovary and tube in July 1999(I was almost 29) and started Clomid in September. I developed a blood clot in my leg in October(and had 2 miscarriages in 1999)and was worked up for clotting disorders. At that point they told me I would more than likely not carry a pregnancy to term as I was diagnosed with Antiphospholipid antibody syndrome. One of the things that was causing me to miscarry was that since I hypercoagulate my placenta would clot off because my body saw the pregnancy as an invasion. My hubby and I decided to begin investigating adoption right around Christmas , and took a planned trip to Dallas the first week in January. I came back from the trip feeling fatigued and sore. I was due to have surgery for the blood clot and wondered if I was pregnant. Never really had a regular period but decided to go to WalMart(it was during Martin Luther King b-day weekend)and get a few pregnancy tests. They were all postive and I realized that during the other pregnancies I probably didn't have enough hormones to maintain the pregnancy as well as the clotting issue. Long story short, I did remain pregnant(spent the whole pregnancy on Heparin injections)and Lindsey started school this year. I know how scary the infertility thing can be, guilt that you have done something to your body that is not allowing you to conceive, and all sorts of other things. Please let me know if you need to vent--I know it feels like time is ticking away--
Hugs,
Barb :grouphug:

[garden girl]

I can definitely sympathize with you! I just turned 33 in July and fell like my tock is ticking loudly! We tried to conceive when I was 31 -- I stopped the pill, waited a few months and then we tried for about four cycles before I got a bad bladder infection and the IC began. I believe that the change in hormones from being off the pill left me vulnerable to developing IC. And I don't think that it was a coincidence that about 6 months after stopping the pill, I started having problems. Since I was charting my BBT, I could see the changes that took place and I don't think that I got to a "normal" state until I was 6 months off the pill (similar to Melanie's story). My reason for telling you this is that I think that it my take awhile after stopping the pill for your body to get back to normal, so don't be discouraged if it takes some time.

I've thought over and over again that if I already had kids, I think I could deal with the IC better. The sting of having to delay motherhood while all my friends are having babies has been very difficult for me. I think that that, along with the fear of wondering what it will be like to stop the meds that are helping me now, are the hardest things about IC for me. So I can understand what you mean about things getting in the way! What helps me is knowing that in spite of all my planning, God knows the plans He has for me and when I become a mother, it will be according to the plan He had all along!

Even though I sometimes feel old, too, I know that I really am not. It may take me a little longer to get pregnant than an 18-year-old, but I'm not too old to have a baby (and neither are you). Remember, when people see you with your child, they will always think you're younger than you are because you waited! :)

[cdfox]

Rachel, please don't get too discouraged and frustrated. You're only 33 and still have plenty of time to start a family. I can certainly sympathise with you. I'm 37 and 35 weeks pregnant with my first. I put off trying until I was 36 because my husband and I were working on degrees; we were unsettled with jobs and housing; and we went without health insurance for a bit. I know it's very unsettling when you've got IC, trying to start a family and sort out financial aspects, health coverage, jobs or housing, for instance.

I know it might not seem like it some days, but you will get through the flares and unforseen circumstances in your life. Just think you'll be better prepared when you do get pregnant to deal with the life-altering changes because you've got IC. IC and bad flares, in particular, are the pits and can get anyone down. However, try to concentrate on how much better you can cope with change and pain rather than concentrate on the negative.

As someone who is 37 and pregnant, I can honestly say that I'm glad I waited until I was ready financially and, more importantly, mentally. I like to believe that I'm more mature and educated and have more 'life experiences' for motherhood. I think the same will be true for you. Do not give up hope.