boyfriend trouble

[Piggy]

Hi....This is Piggy

I've written in another post about being new to the site...but i have a very bad problem. It's my boyfriend. First.....i have a very bad immune system. I get sick with everything. just to give you an idea about me. I live with my boyfriend..he has a 5 year old and a 9 year old. I am in severe pain becuz of this whole stone/UTi problem. When i tell him about it....he either shrugs his shoulders and walks away or he tells me to get out of bed that it won't be a big deal until the stone passes...then it will hurt....but it will be over. I've been in very bad pain all day....and my scrip for my pain meds are on the counter. I call him today cuz he wasn't home and he told me he went food shopping and to Home Depot. I asked him if he got my meds....and he's like, no. I said why not....he said becuz ...and i said, i am in severe pain. He's like....well i couldn't find your script. i said it's right on the counter,and why didn'tj you wake me up if you couldn't find it. then i hung up on him and called my mom to vent. She even admits that that is not right. :headbang:

i don't know what to do. he's been very inconsiderte about this whole thing. like last night i was on line...and he and the kids were watching a movie. mind you i just got out of the hospital not too long before i hopped on line. And he yells at me. I told him i didn't want to be around anyone that i was in pain and i was cranky. he didn't want to hear it...slammed the door , and stalked downstairs......

what should i do.....what shouldn't i do. ....how do i handle this.
thanks....

piggy

[sami4]

Piggy:
This guy is immature, selfish and apparently cant take care of another person when they need him. He obviously isnt concerned with your health or welfare. Can you move back with your folks until you get stronger?

[alpacagirl]

I feel so bad for you. I agree with sami4, you need to get out of this situation. You deserve to have someone that cares about you and is willing and wants to help in whatever way I can. Your boyfriend doesn't sound like he cares at all about your difficulties and pain. Even a friend would be more compassionate. I live with my boyfriend too, but he is my saving grace. It makes all the difference in the world when you have someone that is supportive and takes care of you when you are in pain. I hope you can find the strength to do what you need to get the support you deserve.

[tigger_gal]

sounds like a man to me!!.. hate to say it.. but I think our generation of men were dropped on there heads at birth.
hes selfish, immature, petty, and everything is all about him...how do I know? I am married to his twin.. and if it was him in your shoes, he would expect to served on a silver platter.
hope you feel better
Brat

[Bianchi]

Please go back to live with your mother for a while, until you get well. Then you may want to think if this whole situation is for you. This man will obsiously not help you, you dont need that stress on top of everything else.
Bianchi

[Piggy]

My mom is in her 60's and so is my stepdad...they are moving to florida and have no room for me and neither does anyone else.....i wish i could live with my dad but he passed away in 2000.

While my boyfriend was at CVS finally getting my meds....this was around 5pm...by then my back was in severe pain....and i was a *****...i'll admit to that cuz i was. If you were in severe excusitating pain all day wouldn't you be cranky too? i went downstairs to watch a movie. he came home with that and cranberry juice...which i've had 2 cups of...thank god!!! And he said...i still don't forgive you for your behavior today....and i'm like...my behavior? What about how much pain i was in today...almost calling 911 today becuz i couldn't stand it? how about you leaving me here alone while i was dying? How about you just thinking about yourself? He's like....all you ever do is think about yourself.....why i can't i think about me for once? I'm sick and in pain!!! Your'e always sick he said....and i'm like well....this time i had to call 911 and actually have a bad thing. So before i came upstairs...i tried to kiss him and he pulls away. He's like....i can't forget how you were today......he ****** me off...sorry about the language....but i'm tempted to call a domestic violence shelter and live there. Now i know why his ex slept with everyone and left him. He's impossible. And he's encouraging the children to be mean to me. when i try to talk to him about something his daughter pipes in and i tell her to mind her own business he's telling me that she doesn't have to. And then when i'm yelling at her...she's got to grumble things like...why can't you stop yelling or why can't we be happy? and if i make a comment at her....he gets mad at me.

I am also biplor and have Ulcerative Colitis......he's not understanding about that....he made fun of me when i had to wear diapers......when my colitis was so bad.

I just want to cry....

Piggy

[ICNDonna]

First of all, if you have interstitial cystitis you should not be drinking cranberry juice. It's one of the worst possible things for an IC patient.

It does sound like you are in an unfortunate situation. If you do need to get away, I would urge you to call one of the shelters and ask for help.

Donna

[Piggy]

Actually....i don't even know what Intersitial Cystitis is. I was told i have a UTI and many kidney stones. I was told with UTI cranberry juice was the best thing. I had to go back to the ER tonight becuz of backpain. They gave me a shot and a scrip for motrin.

As far as the boyfriend situation is....i'm definatley going to call some shelters. I can't live like this. And he think he's perfect. He thinks that he has done nothing wrong. He called me a B**** tonight and said that he and the kids never do anything wrong......he said it's okay to treat me that way cuz i treat him that way. Which is not true. But he should teach his kids that if someone treats them low, still treat them with respect. Instead, he teaches them to treat me bad especially when i'm having a bad mood day. Which i think is wrong. really wrong. You don't treat kids to hate. You just don't. .

piggy

[ICPrincess]

I have to say that not all men are like this. I have what I call an angel in my life. I hate this disease and I hate that it limits me like it does. My fiancee asks me all the time if there is anything he can do. How am I feeling today (This is everyday when I get up). Do you need anything...I'm going to the kitchen do you need anything while I'm there, etc. He does the grocery shopping (I do the cooking). He is there at my doctor appointments and he is there when I am crying my eyes out over this. When I feel terrible because I feel like this disease must be ruining his life too (We haven't had sex in months because of the pain), he is always reassuring me that he loves me and that I'll get better. He never complains or makes me feel like a burden. If I sleep all day because of the pain, he is there when I wake up asking me if everything is ok....not yelling at me because I was in bed all day as a result of my IC. I realize I am blessed, but I don't really believe in my heart that anyone should be treated like you are being treated Piggy. It's not a "man" thing. It's a "rude" thing to me. I know that there are a lot of impatient jerks out there but there are also angels....nice guys.....men who see the bigger picture in life......they have more maturity and decency in them. I did however live with someone who sounds an awful lot like your boyfriend for years when I was in my teens. He was abusive, selfish and extremely immature. I put up with it because the world puts an enormous pressure on you to be paired up....to have a boyfriend.....the Noah's ark syndrome. Sometimes its best to be alone if the alternative is to be with someone who is not really helping you in any way. If all he does is make you feel terrible, thats not going to get better...it never does. I put up with a lot from my ex. He was a very goodloooking guy who knew how to manipulate and use me. I got sucked in and stayed sucked in for some time before I woke up. If he and I were together now while this was happening to me, I am almost sure he would be doing the same thing. Telling me to stop feeling sorry for myself...get out of bed...I'm sick of seeing you sick etc. What I have now is a blessing and even moreso because I truly love him with everything in me and I know he is there for me. Don't give up hope, I think everyone has an angel waiting out there for them. They usually arrive when you least expect them to. I don't know if you are in a situation where you MUST stay with him (Because of financial things etc), but if you can, get away and see if you can't stay with family or someone who genuinely cares about you and what is going on with you. Believe me when I say, they never change. It only gets worse and now you have seen how he is when the chips are down. :(