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View Full Version : How'd I get so old! - My Birthday Philosophy


icnmgrjill
07-18-2005, 08:31 PM
Birthdays are fickle things, aren't they? As a child, I was one of those children whose birthdays never got mentioned at school. Ohh, how I envied those kids who had moms who brought cupcakes for their classmates! :hmmm: Mine was ALWAYS in the summer! Arrgh! I wanted a winter birthday! But, that changed one summer in San Diego when I was about 10 years old.

My family took me to the old fashioned ice cream parlor "Farrells" where birthdays were celebrated with sirens, drums, and a wild and crazy race around the store. :woohoo: Atleast once an hour, the staff would start an old fashioned siren, then run around the restaurant with a giant platter filled with ice cream. Eventually, they would stop in front of some lucky kid would scream when it stopped in front of them, as everyone roared out a hearty happy birthday song!

One year, it actually happened to me when was the ricipient of a San Diego Zoo... a giant bowl of about 20 scoops of ice cream covered with sauces, whip cream and little zoo animals that I brought home. Yes, I did have to share the ice cream... but must admit, several years later, to actually eating a "pig pen" platter all by myself! It is my absolute favorite birthday memory! :Smilies:

As a teen, birthdays were usually on a tennis court.. playing in tennis tournaments throughout the summer and, luckily, exercising my ice cream exccesses off quickly. One year, my sister made me a giant birthday cake castle... complete with turrets! She worked hard on that and it became a great birthday memory! :kissing:

I turned 21 doing, of all things, bartending during a summer job. No, I didn't get blisteringly drunk but, yes, I was the recipient a few shots of something wicked! I confess, though, that I do have a memory of dancing with a vacumn cleaner a few days later ... and having a good friend (Thank You Paul) who walked me home and put me to bed... with the room spinning abit! :::sigh:: Well... not one of my best moments.. but it sure gave me a wonderful, lifelong friend who saved me from embarassing myself any further! :rolleyes:

In 1993, just after my IC was diagnosed, I spent my birthday at the UC San Francisco Medical Center having my first IC therapy. Yes, I was happy to be there rather than home... because I just wanted to get better.

Just after starting the ICN in 1995, I shared many birthday wishes with my good friend ICNAsstMgr Diane, whose birthday was just a few days before mine. We celebrated our friendship through happy postings in our message boards and special gifts to each other. Honestly, though we hadn't met in person back then, we were kindred spirits. She would send me an original needlepoint ... a blanket, frame or wallhanging. I would send her something uniquely Californian... from a banner with an angel yelling out hope to hummingbird feeders to help brighten her home. For the last two years, I've celebrated her memory. I'm so glad that I have her gifts which are here in my office... to remind me of her spirit, encouragement and love! She's one of my guardian angels no. :angel: (For those of you who didn't know Diane, she was one of the precious souls of our site and, sadly, was taken from us two years ago as a result of empheysema at the tender age of 42.)

About ten years ago, I made a change in how I wanted to celebrate with my family and friends. Face it, IC can definitely put a damper on our special days if we let it. I decided that I wanted to use my birthdays to create laughter :biglaugh: even if I was having an IC flare. So, with my young nephews, family, adults and kids in tow, we picked a fun (but IC friendly event) that we could all do... and laugh doing. One year, it was miniature golf, another bowling, country line dancing, crazy restaurants, lots of movies! Best of all, rather than them paying, I always saved my money up (little that I had) to pay for them! I wanted to give a treat on my birthday... rather than just expect a gift from them.

This year, I had two days off work (yahoo!), two days in a row at the gym (I should say that I'm addicted to using the elliptical... which is a great workout, keeps my hips level and has yet to bother my bladder). Spent the 100 degree plus afternoon laying on my bed with my cat next to me, reading a great book and spending the evening with a good friend!
A few days later, I treated everyone to a movie, Charlie & the Chocolate Factory. Weird... but entertaining. It's no Pirates of the Carribean though!

What I really wanted to do was take everyone to a crazy Indian restaurant and feed them Tandoori Chicken... but they were wimps! Cattlemans it was! Oh well! No matter what I said, they just didn't believe that Indian food could be mild and tasty. I mean, sheesh, I'm an IC patient and it's never irritated my bladder. Alas, I digress!

The funniest moment of the birthday came, from my brother Jack, who I noticed singing a different tune when they gave me my birthday pie! I noticed that he was singing a different melody... a well known funeral dirge. Afterwards, I turned to him and said "what on earth are you singing." He admitted to us all that he had been singing the birthday dirge to all of us for the past twenty years. You know the one... sounds like a funeral march... and goes

Happy Birthdayyy <thud>... Oh Happy Birthday <thud>
Doom and gloom and dark despair
People dying everywhere!
Happy Birthdayyy <thud>... Oh Happy Birthday <thud>

My 52 year old brother!! The physics professor!! The straight A student!!! Singing a Funeral Dirge on our happiest days of the year! Now we know why he always had that funny smile going on during those moments! He confessed that he learned it while serving on a submarine in the Navy in his 20's. It was hysterical when he admitted it. We made him sing it out loud... he turned bright red! It was sooo funny!!!

My point with this brief, weird, journal entry is to share my birthday philosophy. You can have great birthdays even with IC! Use this special day to:

(1) Give thanks for those who have made your life meaningful
(2) Remember, with thoughtfulness, those who you have cared for. (::as she looks up to heave to see some lovely angels looking down::)
(3) Create a new, different and fun family memory. Even with IC, you can make smiles and laughter happen!
(4) Take time for you... and, yes, you can be a layabout all afternoon if you'd like without any shame. You're entitled... we're entitled. It's OUR birthday, afterall!
(5) Send thank you notes to everyone who gives you a present
(6) Buy yourself flowers once a week for a month
(7) If it makes you laugh, sing silly songs too!
(8) Try to bring laughter to the birthdays and special days of those around you too! Make it a happy day! Do special things! Make a new memory!

Anyone else have any great IC friendly birthday ideas??

Jill :)

K9wife
07-18-2005, 11:26 PM
What great stories!!!! I was, unfortunately, born on April Fool's day- and I need not tell you how many jokes I became the butt of! My loving Grandmother felt so sorry for me for being picked on that she chose to celebrate April 1 a DIFFERENT special day....she made it a BIG day because here in NY April 1 is the first day of fishing season, and she would always arrive at the crack of dawn and we would go fishing together when I was a child. I remember her telling me how very lucky I was to be boen on the first day of fishing season!!! As a Grandmother myself now, I realize that she was doing her grandmotherly thing in trying to make the best out of a potentially bad situation for me! I don't remember exactly when or why we stopped our little outings, but I suspect it probably had something to do with teenage embarrassment or peer pressure,etc. So many times after she passed away, I think of those fishing trips with such fond memories....that just for those few minutes i didn't feel "foolish" for being born on April 1 !!!
Thanks so much for sharing your memories. I think that sharing things other than our IC from time-to-time helps us better understand each others' posts and where the members are coming from. I guess none of us especially love when our birthday comes along, and even less as we get older! And now- I think I'll go fishing....

ICNJess
07-19-2005, 03:30 AM
No philosophy, but wanted to say very funny about your brother. :)

ICNDonna
07-19-2005, 04:48 AM
Love that brother!

LOL
Donna

Iris
07-19-2005, 08:54 AM
Hi Jill, great post, thoroughly enjoyed reading it, and what a wonderful way to spend your birthday now. Laughed at the song sung by your brother, great message, thanks, smiles Iris. :)

dyno
07-19-2005, 11:33 AM
Such happy memories, thank-you for sharing!

Kathi
07-19-2005, 11:45 AM
:kissing: What a great way to celebrate :grouphug: Thanks so much for sharing. Kathi

csocain
07-19-2005, 02:58 PM
I too have a kindred spirit friend, Jill, and we share great memories together. We even celebrated my birthday last summer "long distance". She lives in Arkansas and I live in Alabama. My husband took a picture of my mother-in-law and me eating cake and ice cream while she took a picture of a couple of the children that she keeps in her home doing their brand of celebrating. The kids even had birthday hats! We chose a certain time to do it "together" and this has been a source of great joy for both of us ever since. Birthdays are such fun if you just get creative. Thanks for sharing your great stories. Blessings to you and yours...

hoping4acure
07-21-2005, 04:48 AM
Just wanted to say thanks for sharing....great story! Like the others said...got to love that brother! :)



Louann

ErinBear
07-24-2005, 01:13 PM
Hi Jill!

and Happy Birthday! I don't have a suggestion at the moment but had to smile when you mentioned Farrell's! We had them where I grew up, too, in the SF Bay Area. One time I was at a Farrell's, and the waiters tripped while carrying one of those huge "Zoo" sundaes...and dropped the entire bowl of ice cream (50 scoops? who knows how much?) right into a woman's lap!!!!! It was both horrible...and hilarious! Everyone in the restaurant was dying with laughter once we knew that nobody was hurt.....I will never forget that day. It's really something to see that much ice cream go flying! :-)

For birthdays, I say do what you can to make them special, whether you are on your own or you have family and friends with whom to enjoy them. It's an achievement to make it from one year to the next, especially when we have health challenges! So I say make sure to do things you enjoy that day, that week, even that month! And they don't have to be fancy things. Maybe you can listen to your favorite music on the stereo....or watch a favorite movie on the VCR....or go for a walk at the park. Maybe you can have a phone call with a special friend, or go out to lunch together. Like you said, I enjoy buying some special flowers for myself. Irises are my very favorite, so I try to get those if I can! I like to do something special on my birthday for people in my life who have helped me get through the past year, to thank them too...it seems like a good time to remember to thank my friends and loved ones. And i have fun planning surprises for them on my birthday! giggle. I love planning little surprises. It might just be a thank you card, or a bookmark or something. But it's always good to say thank-you.

Have a great birthday -

Take care,
ErinBear