Feeling sad & crying

[pottywoman]

The pain is still worse from doing the sodium bicarb two weeks ago. It's also worse at night like it was before the heparin started helping years ago. I'm afraid it will never go back to the way it was before the sodium bicarb was done. :shake: Hardly sleep at all now due to the pain even with the tens unit on. The thing is if I rub my lower back upwards the pain goes away some but I have to keep doing that and I don't have anyone else who could do it. Plus I ate a piece of cake and with the pain worse my stomach feels like it's a balloon. I don't know what to do anymore. I really thought I would be pain free with the sodium but I ended up worse off. I don't know how to handle having this even after 8 years. Why can't something just make it go away???? :confused: :(

[vm]

Please don't get mad at this question if it has been asked of you a million times - but have you been checked for infection since you had your last instill? I only ask on the offchance you haven't been.

I am sorry you are in so much pain. :( I know when I feel like the pain might never end is the scariest. I hope you find an answer for relieving your pain soon. :kissing:

[ICNDonna]

I hope you find something to help soon. Do you have any pyridium or similar thing you can take to try to make your bladder feel better? If you haven't already, I agree you should be checked for infection --- even if you were checked a week or more ago.

Sending warm healing thoughts,
Donna

[pottywoman]

Yes, I have been checked for an infection. I thought for sure that was what was causing it. Some how the sodium made it worse. Pydrium doesn't help me any. Plus I get too dizzy/sick from it and most all the other pills. Laying down at night use to help. I could take the ibuprofen and lay down and the bladder would "rest". now that doesn't happen. I just toss all night. It took 8 months for the heparin to help on the pain before. Never noticed it helped with the pain until now. Weird huh? May take another 8 months for that to happen. I just don't have the patience anymore. :rolleyes:

[dyno]

I hope you can find something soon that will help. I know how hard it can be sometimes. Hang in there.

[pottywoman]

When I see my Uro this week I am going to ask him if he would mind me trying the Zoloft again. Had years ago but I think I stopped due to the side effects. I use to take another one (can't remember the name) but that caused weight gain so I stopped that 1 year ago. All I know is right now I really can not deal with this anymore. I don't know why it hits at different times (right now because of the pain..that always does it) even when there is nothing worse. Also holidays are no help. I want to do things that I use to do and no matter how hard I try I can't. I'm getting older and life is passing me by. To have a baby I'm to old for now so that is no longer something I could look forward too. Not to mention ever knowing a guy. Who wants this??? :confused: The Zoloft won't cure the bladder but maybe it will help so I can deal with life easier. The other one I took was starting to help but I got tired of hearing how fat I was getting. No one knew I was taking it. Will have to get through a few days before I see my wonderful Uro and he is the best Uro ever. Thank goodness I have him. :bow:

[vm]

I hope your doc can help you. I am on Lexapro and not only did it help me with my depression and anxiety - it also helped my bladder. I gained some weight, but have tried to tell myself it's better to have some extra weight than to be miserable. I'd definitely choose more weight...

[pottywoman]

I checked and I was taking the celexa. It had started to help but I had gained so much weight with it and I got tired of hearing about it. So I stopped it. I don't like to be fat either. Sort of would rather be nice and thin and have the pain then fat without pain. I read that the Zoloft can cause weight loss so I am hoping that happens with it.

[pottywoman]

Well, I think I ate every sweet item in the house today. That probably really shot my diet. :headbang: I feel so jumpy (not from the sweets) and I can't really calm down. I always eat when this happens. Wish I would go for the fruits instead. :rolleyes:

[emilyrose197377]

I hope you feel better soon. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Take Care
Kim

[pottywoman]

Thanks everyone. I am trying to hang in there until I can get to my uro in a few days. Just seems like forever for that day to get here.

[curlycue]

You are in my thoughts and prayers as well. Be good to yourself.

[pottywoman]

I just called my uro and I was told he couldn't give me the zoloft. I have to go to my family doc to get it which I won't go back to. Now I guess I'll just have to get through this on my own.

[pottywoman]

I won't go to anymore new doctors. Pretty much have had it with them. Plus there are not too many to choose from who will take my insurance. Wish I had never gone to a doctor at all. Should have taken my chances with what was wrong. I'm worse off now then I was in the beginning.

[K9wife]

Don't give up on all of them, Potty...somewhere there is just the right one for you! I can tell from your posts that you are at a real "low" and even if you have to put up with a horrible bedside manner to get the RX you know helps. do it! At least until you can get back on track and feeling well enough to do some more searching to find a better one. I share your frustration with Drs who seem not to care, but every now and then I stumble on to someone's story that reminds me not all Docs are alike. Hang in there and do what you have to do to get back into the good graces of a doctor to Rx you appropriately, or refer you for some help. Call right now!!!!!

[pottywoman]

I'm not fighting anymore. I'm tired of it and worrying all the time. The sodium was my last hope for the pain and I'm worse off now then before. There is nothing more to try either. I don't even care if I have to give up the heparin. I just don't care.

[ICNJess]

I had to make my way through several awful, horrific, uncaring doctors before I found the right health care team for me. Maybe all you need is just the right combination of meds. Don't give up...I know things seem hopeless now, but you can get through this. We have all been where you are, and so we all send hugs and love that you find the right doctors to help you--just hang in there.

Hugs,
Jess

[Derby]

I found my self in tears a little while ago because my bladder is really painful right now. There is blood in my urine again and that combined with the gastroparesis they just diagnosed me with has made for a very difficult year. I can pull myself through it and so can you. You just can't give up. You are to important to give up on. You can find a good doctor if you keep looking. Please take care.

Derby