In so much pain and so very depressed

[Casi]

Im hurting so bad and I'm at work. I'm trying to get FMLA where I work for a couple of weeks to get this under control. I have severe IC, vulvdynia(sp?), and pelvic floor issues and am starting physical therapy. I was doing ok and this week has been terrible. I'm crying non-stop. and I feel like I should be handling this better and feel like a big wimp. RIght now I feel so sorry for my family and other people who have to be around me. My quality of life is very poor, and I used to be full of energy and very happy and I'm not like that anymore. It hurts to walk, sit or stand I hate this and I hate what my life as came to be. This IS not me, I don't understand why any of us have to go thru this it's so terrible. Luckily I have an office at work so my door is shut now, but I cant stop crying. I love my job so much, but there a couple of people here that won't appreciate the fact I'm taking leave, and I hate that I just want support. That's all. I have plenty of support at home, my family has been great. I just hate this life. I'm sitting down now and it's killing me. Even though I have support at home I feel so alone and useless. I want to stop hurting. I hope someone has some encouraging words I need it so bad. I know I'm feeling sorry for myself and I'm sorry. I just hate the way I have to live and the pain is unbearable. I'm so sad and want this disease out of me.

[poetgirl]

Hi Casi,

I'm so sorry you're in pain and having a hard time dealing with these conditions. :( How long has it been since you were diagnosed? What meds are you taking?

You're not being a wimp; it's better to acknowledge honestly to yourself the changes you're experiencing, rather than pretending you are OK. It's part of the grieving process many of us go through, and eventually we all do come out on the other side. I have IC and VV -- not a fun combination at all, so I can empathize with your discomfort. It can -- and does -- get better for nearly all of us over time and with the right treatment.

I'm glad your family is being supportive and I highly doubt they feel sorry for themselves because you're in their lives! I'm sure they love you immensely, and want only for you to heal and feel better about yourself. Please don't be hard on yourself; these conditions take enough out of us and it's important to keep up some hope that one day you'll have some relief from the pain and discomfort you're feeling right now. And we're all here for you, whenever you need it!

:pray:

[patricia1]

Hi Casi!! I to am very sorry you are going through this right now.

I understand about the work issue. After my diagnose I worked for another 1 and then my job was phased out and I have not been to work since. I also was awarded SSD for my IC. Anyway my work would get very mad when I missed work and was written up alot. I would try and not worry about what your other co-workers think of you, I know its hard, but the added stress for you is not doing your bladder any good. I am sure they problly act that way because the majority of us dont "look sick"..I think the FMLA is good idea.

I have been living with IC for 9 yrs now. Offical diagnosed for 4 yrs. I had to learn to live my life with this disease and not let the disease dictat my life. The beg of the disease are the hardest to deal with. Tyring to figure out what you did to deserve this. Although remember you did nothing and its not your fault. It is great you have good family support, that is of the upmost important. Some ICers dont have that.

For the pain. Are you on any meds? Have you tried seeing a pain specialist? What about the IC Diet sometimes these things help. Remember when ever you feel the need to vent, feel free to we are always here to help you...

[Portia17]

casi

I know all about fmla I was on it and now on company disability so p.m. me anytime if you need help

[emilyrose197377]

I am so sorry you are in so much pain. Sending you prayers that you feel better soon.

Take Care
Kim