Visited Grandaughter, IC Flares Most of the Time

[songbird7]

Sigh, I seldom visit people I most want to see like my son, daughter in law, whom I am very close to, and sweet almost 2 year old granddaughter. My son asked me and I know they are having a big family reunion in a few months there and I also knew that would be much worse for my bladder. I had went there with high hopes as I've been feeling better. That is because at home I don't have babies waking at night etc and have my own surroundings etc. Unfortunately big frequency flare with pain and pressure lasting most of the time I was there. Hurting to walk most the time, lagging behind everyone. (Did not go far). I was so upset about this that I may have mentioned it a few more times than usual. My son took me aside, (we were going to my mom in law's for dinner). He said to please not mention my bladder. I felt very hurt and unaccepted. I for sure don't make it a big topic of conversation but sometimes if I don't say anything I feel I will burst with dispair and it helps to talk just a little bit about it. I cried and told him I felt like an outcast and I should have never come there. He said he didn't mean anything by it. Well everyone. Even though the trip was quite short I will not do it much. I felt it hard to accept myself too, felt like a defective person or something. Can anyone relate to this?
hugs,
Songbird

[Janie Miranda]

songbird,
I am so sorry that you flared so badly on the visit. I know that it must have been very hard on you. I wish people could understand how difficult this disease can be.

Big hugs,
janie

[emilyrose197377]

I am so sorry you went through this. Yes i do Understand what you went through. It makes me upset that people don't understnad this disease.

[kelly McC]

(((((Huggs)))))
I am sorry and I do understand but remember its not your fault your a wonderful person.
Huggs
Kelly

[Dixiefireball]

(((((((songbird))))))) i'm so sorry hon. My husband side of the family has made me feel that way and also made me feel like a drug head at times too. so there for I try not to go around them and if its a must i just sit in the car. reason being if they can't accept me for who i am. I don't need them. I know its harder when it comes to your children I would be upset my self. inlaws you can get by with that but blood runs much much deeper.
I wish i knew what to say. to make it all better for you.
much love headed to you.
Rhonda

[songbird7]

Jamie, Emily and Kelly and everyone who may answer this post later or even just read it; thank you very much for your understanding. It means a lot. I've been depressed today. It will pass. I can't believe how underfunded the research is for this disease. If more men got it you better believe there might even be a cure for now. But what was this called not even that long ago, "a hysterical womens' disease." Just recently people are aware of it. I am afraid to ever leave the Bay Area, not that I really want to, because not that many urologists know about the disease. It really hurts when a family member I feel so close to practically says, "shut up about your IC around other people." I feel the emotional pain way down deep in my belly. Yet, I know he didn't mean any harm, he really didn't. I have a few artfully done tattoos that show with medium cut summer ware and he made sure to request that if possible I could cover them. Sheesh! I thought kids, even grown up ones were the ones that embarassed their moms.
Love,

[SrMaggie]

Songbird, I can relate to what you are saying as well as to Dixie. Earlier this month, I was feeling really rotten. I couldn't walk too well and one of the parents said something to me. I just stayed in my office for most of the days. It hurt to walk anywhere. The thing about being a drug head really hit home. Folks at home thought I was taking too much med and told me to go to the dr and discuss the amount. I did and I think I actually came home with one more script. I just try not to talk about it too much. This board has really helped me feel more secure. I know now that I'm not making it up. When I see that others are suffering the exact same thing as I have, it helps so much.
Thank you all.
Maggie

[ICNDonna]

:grouphug:

Donna

[K9wife]

I strongly suggest that your son and his family come to this website and read these posts!!!! Then they will fell absolutely ashamed of themselves for belittling your complaints. Isn't it true, though, that many of us just "don't talk about it" and that's why there is so little awareness of IC's severity today? I feel your pain, and I dare say many of us here have had similar situations. Just know that among us here, you can voice your discomfort any time you need to, and NOBODY will tell you not to talk about it!

[songbird7]

Everyone, you are so great. I started getting very depressed about this stuff yesterday. Unusual for me because I usually can let go of things. Thing is this touched a deep emotional place for me where with other things I can use my intellect and tell myself this is why something is or not and why people act that way. My son just didn't get it. He said that he didn't mean anything against me when he told me not to talk about it and I got "all moody". Coming to the board might be the perfect thing for him to do although if he can't stand me "talking about it", he might not be able to stand anyone else "talking about it either." Say. K9 mom, those doggies are sweet. The thing is, his family never said anything about me mentioning IC before and I don't know where this was coming from. I don't get what my son's problem is. I love him and his family far too much to give up on them but it was a big sacrifice health wise to come see him and those visits will be limited. Actually I think my son could use some counseling because he is as hard on himself as he was on me. Still, I have feelings. No one mentioned my meds at least.
With love,