I do love my children, BUT~

[Michelle in KC]

Is there any Mom's out there who sometimes wish that they stopped at one kid???

Is there anyone who sometimes wishes that they had waited later in life to have kids?

Is there anyone who sometimes wishes that they didn't have kids at all????

Come on now, I am not the only one... am I???????

:hmm: :hmm: :hmm: :hmm: :hmm:

[Babs RN]

Well, from my perspective---I was only able to have one child and almost lost her multiple times during the pregnancy--I didn't have her until I was 30 and wish I had been younger because my body was devastated by the pregnancy. Oh--to have had a kid at 20...I never have regretted having her because they told me I wasn't able to conceive at all.

Hugs,
Barb :grouphug:

[christalbean]

Hi Michelle!!
I only have one son also.
But I do know what you mean!! And sometimes that makes me feel like the worst mother in the world although I know I am not!!!!
AND NEITHER ARE YOU!!!!

It is much worse on my BAD Days.
Sometimes I just want to be left alone. :headbang:
I mean can I not be allowed to be sick?!!? :mad: I guess not, I can't expect a 5 yr. old to understand.
i am doing this all on my own, his father felt that this was to much for him to deal with. I mean, I could not have sex!!!
Anywell, I found one thing that helped!!
Daycare!!!! When I feel bad, I now get a few hrs. to rest and TRY to feel better.

Anywell, sorry so long!!
Just wanted you to know that you are not the only one, so don't feel bad!!!
Lots of love and hugs!!!
:grouphug: :kissing:

[ICNDonna]

to being a senior citizen! My children are all adults, which is one of the advantages.....

:woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:
Donna

[Portia17]

Well I never had any children as it just was never meant to be but I have a one year old standard poodle and she is an :angel: not lol.

She is very very smart. We have a fenced in yard for her but she is the Princess, you know so she must go for walks and always wants to go to the doggie park.

She will just come up to you and like bark in your face to go for a walk. What is really funny is that she knows after dinner we take her to her park. So, if she does not see us moving to take her she comes over with her leash and starts barking at us and then goes to the door and barks more. Therefore, we give in to her because she is the only child (yes my child) an is a spoiled brat
lol

She also needs the corner of the couch so if you are laying down she barks at you until you move your feet so that she can lay there.

Well, I know this isn't a human child but she is still my child and a spoiled one at that :loco:

[Michelle in KC]

I had Emilee at age 18. I was 20 days away from my 19th birthday. I feel like I missed out on something by having her so young. But, we can - on occasion - relate to things on a closer level than my mother and I ever could.

I had Justin 6 years later. I was 24. I really enjoyed having him as a baby though. Emilee was a grow up learning experience. Justin I really enjoyed because he was my Baby, and I was not still a Baby myself.

I - some days - enjoy my 4 legged kids more. They might fight amongst themselves sometimes, but the next minute they are playing. And I can leave them in a crate while I am gone and not take them with me... I can feed them the SAME thing over and over for breakfast and dinner and they don't complain. I don't have to buy them many MANY different collars to wear and argue about daily. THEY don't wear out their shoes. Or loose them! They kiss me every chance they get. They 'tell' me they love me daily.

I am glad I had 2 kids... most of the time. I have my moments when I wonder what in the world I am doing! I also have my moments where things just work out so well and we all have a graet day together and there is no fighting between children, no fussing over anything, and all chores, homework, and other things are done without my asking.

I am now 32 and am feeling old, tired, and hurting. My hair is going gray. I have dark circles under my eyes, that I NEVER had before. I have gained weight and just feel so YUK.

Anyway, don't take my musings too seriously.

I do thank God for my 2 precious gifts.

Michelle in AR

[ramper41]

its nice that you have a spoiled brat and it seems to love and you love it and that's both good,and doge are kool and sometimes needy :)

[dancemomof2]

I have my first at 20 and my third at 32. I look at it as I will still be young enough when they start graduating high school to enjoy myself some. It is much harder now that I am a litttle older and a little more run down. I don't think there would be 3 children had I waited until this IC thing hit me.

[Babs RN]

Leslie,
Didn't we just talk about part of this--how funny?

Barb

[tigger_gal]

I like babs was only able to have one child :( . I couldn't eat, drink or move without getting sick.. I puked till I thru up bile and blood.. I kept going into labor and spent the first 7 1/2 months in and out of the hospital. in for 5 days home for 3 and back in.. I lived on IV fluids, and phenabarbatol to stop my pre-term labor, and then an amio becuase they thought she was gonig to have downssyndrom.. there was no amitioc fluid. They told me to terminate the pregnancy at 7 months, she would never make it the first 48 hours, and if she did she would die before her 2nd birthday.. I have a very healthy happy 16 1/2 year old beautiful daughter... any who.. I have had 2 miscarriages.. I lost a baby at 4 months pregnant before I had my daughter.. and lost a set of twins at 4 months pregnant when she was 4....
to answer your questions....


Is there any Mom's out there who sometimes wish that they stopped at one kid???
I only have one and would sell my soul for another

Is there anyone who sometimes wishes that they had waited later in life to have kids?
My first pregnancy I was 20 but miscarried... I had my daughter at 23

Is there anyone who sometimes wishes that they didn't have kids at all????
never have I wished that I never had her... my life would not be complete with out her..

Come on now, I am not the only one... am I???????
I'm sure you you are not alone with this. I am one that would never wish I didn't have my child... I wish to god daily I had the three I miscarried.. I guess when you struggle so hard to have a baby, and risk your own life to have one, you never regret what you have...
Brat

[patricia1]

Hi Michelle such a good thread.

I had my daughter at 22 and then my son at 24, so I guess I was young enough, altough I am 33 now and at times feel as though I am 83 lol. I am now raising my 10 yr old step son also. When my husband and his mom divorced she left him with his dad instead of taking respon. for him. To this day she has very little contact with him, no cards or presents on his birthday or holiday, she does not even call. Out of 4 kids she had she only has one with her. No respect for her at all.

Here are my answers:

Is there any Mom's out there who sometimes wish that they stopped at one kid???
I dont now wish that I had stopped at one, I had a hysterectomy in 1998 and got remarried in 2000. Wish more than anything I could have another.

Is there anyone who sometimes wishes that they had waited later in life o
have kids? A big No to that glad I had them when I did...

Is there anyone who sometimes wishes that they didn't have kids at all????
Also a no from me on that to. Although there are times when the totally grate on my nerves, at the ages where all 3 fight all day long, I am so glad I had my babies..

Come on now, I am not the only one... am I???????
No you are not alone, others feel this way also

[anniepie1976]

Michelle, I believe you truly do love your children with all your heart. I think it took a lot of courage to ask the questions that you did. Let's face it, there are days in our lives that are such a battle (especially with this disease) that we ask ourselves about our mere existance. I have truly been struggling with the questions about childbearing myself. I had IC conrolled for about eight years until my pregnancy with my first child right now. I am in agony. I have fears of motherhood now that I am in so much pain again. I know I get resentful and although I feel guilty deep down I know I am normal for it. I just want to let you know that I appreciate your "being real" by posting your thoughts and questions. No mother is perfect and I know like everyone else I will learn along the way. Ann

[dolphinfire]

I had my first baby at 19, my second at 21, and my third at 25. Sometimes I wish I would have waited, but then I think about how young I am going to still be when they are gone and I am glad I had them young. Somedays I wish I stopped at one or two, but then I think about how much I love the little brats ;) .

[Jeanne D.]

I had my first child at 27, my second at 28, my third at 32, and my fourth at 37. If I had to do over again I would do it the exact same way. They are my reasons for living and give me the strength to fight this awful disease -- I have EC (30 years). I need to be here to share in their lives.

Jeanne

[Nics]

I had my first at 28 and my second at 29....Am now 30. If I had waited any longer I would not have been able to have any more. Spent 6 months in hospital to have my second. The only thing I regret is that I have this god awful disease and that my health is having an effect on my kids. Im so sick so much that my wee girl wakes crying in the night....scared that mummy has gone away again. Often it is the reality.

I love my babies and thank god everyday that I was blessed with these gifts.

We as parents dont own our children....they are just on loan and can be recalled at anytime. Enjoy today as it may be all we have.

[Sherry5]

Michelle, you are a very truthful girl! I love it. I feel many of those things, except for wishing I had them later. I had mine at 20, 21, 24, and I am having my fourth at 29. I can't imagine starting now. I have so much less patience now then I did then. My first was such a horribly difficult baby, I don't think I could do it now. I also don't wish I had stopped at my first because she is still my most difficult child. If I only had her, I would think all children are horrible. She is the most difficult challenge in my life. Sometimes I think if she weren't so horribly difficult, I could handle everything else in my life. She is the only reason I would rethink motherhood. My other two remind me why I wanted to have children in the first place.

Sometimes I wonder if I am not being fair to my children. I am not as good a parent as I could be if I didn't have this illness. I am often very short with my kids because I am in pain. Sometimes I think they deserve a better mother.

Sometimes I see myself acting the way I hated my mother for acting. I promised myself I would be nothing like my mother, but when you are stressed it is difficult to beat nature/nurture. Does anyone else feel this way?

[Cricketmk3]

Is there any Mom's out there who sometimes wish that they stopped at one kid???
No, I like having two. I suffered through 24/7 sickness with both of mine so I am spending the remainder of my life reminding them of it daily.

Is there anyone who sometimes wishes that they had waited later in life to have kids?
No, I was almost 31 before I had my second child and I usually wish I had had them earlier. More time to enjoy life and grandchildren after they're grown.

Is there anyone who sometimes wishes that they didn't have kids at all????
Never, but they sure can grate on my nerves sometimes.

Come on now, I am not the only one... am I???????
You are absolutely NOT the only one who has those feelings. I have great kids who almost never give me trouble but my boyfriend has a son that I would have strangled by now if he were mine. Kids are different and some mothers have great challenges to face every day. Those mothers need our extra understanding and support.

[sister]

I only have one child and I had her at 26. In the years following is when the IC started to get really bad and I never felt up to trying again.

I am now 30 and still unsure. Parenting is exhausting, no doubt and my dd makes it particularly challenging sometimes. I don't know...there are always chances that pregnancy will put one in remission...and breastfeeding can make it last even longer. It wasn't until when we stopped nursing that I melted down and ended up with a diagnoses.

I do get babylust sometimes but I am just so tired....and worried about having to stop meds. :(

I don't wish that I had made any different choices but I do wish I had more energy. I wish that I didn't scream in pain if she jumps on me...it startles her a little. The new rule is she has to warn me before she jumps on me so I can protect bladder. :(

I hate that...I hate that we have to have rules about roughhousing.