My 'head' is so mixec up!

[alana rose]

I'm not too sure where I should post this, but here it goes!

I'm really trying to be positive and am in hopes that my new meds will help me. I pray that the pain will diminish as we all do.

I was talking with my Mom the other day. I was saying that I don't know what it is like not to be in pain. I can't imagine my life without it. I just think that I will feel like this...always. I don't know what I would do without the pain, perhaps it is like a 'crutch' of some sort. Don't get me wrong, I do want my life back. Am I scared? Am I crazy? I just feel so confused with the thought of having my life back. My uro told me that it is like having your right arm cut off, you are lost without it. Why do I feel like this? I should be happy to think that my pain level may diminish. I am embarassed to post this...I think that chronic pain really does a number on our brains. I just have a sort of strange 'anxiety' thinking about it and trying to figure out why I feel this way. Does this make any sense to anyone.

I feel really silly-I've been wanting to post this for some time now, but didn't know how to word it so I wouldn't seem ridiculous.

Thanks once again for your support!

[Katrina]

I totally understand....and you are not alone. It isn't crazzy to feel the way you do. For me sometimes being the sick one...or the one with a heavy load of health problems can feel like a part of my identity at times. I do believe that you can fight to get better and feel better....and still have the feelings you do about your pain. Kind of a mixed feelings going on.

Chronic pain definatly does a number on our brains and on our lives...so much so that it is so much a part of our lives that we can really feel we may be lost without it. The trueth is that we can make our lives very important, special, good lives with the pain...and even if pain has changed our lives does not mean it has to control our future...I believe that feeling as you do can be a sign of strength and thus I strongly believe that you can win the battle and live a life without pain if that choice comes your way.

In college studying phychology this subject was talked about much....because many people do go through this. Remember always that you have the control to decide how you want to react to every situation brought before you...weather that be living with pain or not...you have the control to decide how you want to react to that situation.

Many Blessing to You!!!
:grouphug:

[green_the_fish]

Wow. Thank you. I had a nagging suspicion that I was the only person who thought about my chronic illness that way. Now I know that I'm not alone...
Sorry I can't offer any helpful advice, but I do relate to how you feel :grouphug:

[alana rose]

Thank you for your replies. I do feel better now. It is so nice to have people who understand how I feel. My mom is great, but when I tell her she just doesn't understand how I feel. She wishes that she could. Having this board is a life saver. :bow:

[trytosmile]

Remember your not alone and NO question or post is ever silly. We are here for you