green_the_fish
04-16-2005, 12:20 PM
Yeah, so I've been mad about my lack of health insurance today, so I decided to channel it positively by looking up doctor jokes :loco: (I'm crazy, hehe)
...
Time for the classic light blub jokes :idea:
How many urologists does it take to change a light bulb?
-Depends if it has health insurance or not.
-Three. One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare.
How many PT specialists does it talke to change a light blub?
-None. They just give the dead bulb some exercises to do and hope it will be working a bit better the next time they see it.
(^I still believe in PT though! lol)
...
Three consultants went duck hunting - a registrar, a radiologist, and a surgeon.
The registrar was up first.
He saw some birds flying over his head, so he aimed the shotgun but didn't fire. When asked why he replied that he thought they looked like ducks coming towards him, but geese flying away, "when i was sure what they were they were gone".
The radiologist was next.
He also saw some birds flying over, the radiologist raised his gun but didn't fire. When asked why he said that he thought they were ducks on the AP view, but by the time he could see them in the lateral it was too late.
Next was the surgeon.
As the birds came along he started firing wildly in the air, ducks falling like rain.
When the smoke cleared he picked up the ducks, handed them to his friends saying:
"Hey look, I took care of it!
Now tell me... are these wacky things ducks or not?"
...
An IC patient asks their uro if their cystoscopy with hydrodistention will be painful. The uro answers "Only when you get the bill"
(^I came up with that one)
...
On board a flight to Hawaii, the pilot announced, "That thump you heard was our last engine conking out. I'm really sorry to tell you this, but we are going to crash into the ocean."
In the stunned silence that followed, an angry voice spoke out. "Dammit! That stupid doctor of mine! He said I was gonna die of cancer."
"He lied!"
...
What's the difference between God and a doctor
God doesn't think he’s a doctor :bonk:
...
Okay, I hope you liked those, and they didn't offend anyone or anything weird like that.
Have a good day, and remember: never accept a drink from a urologist :ignore:
...
Time for the classic light blub jokes :idea:
How many urologists does it take to change a light bulb?
-Depends if it has health insurance or not.
-Three. One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare.
How many PT specialists does it talke to change a light blub?
-None. They just give the dead bulb some exercises to do and hope it will be working a bit better the next time they see it.
(^I still believe in PT though! lol)
...
Three consultants went duck hunting - a registrar, a radiologist, and a surgeon.
The registrar was up first.
He saw some birds flying over his head, so he aimed the shotgun but didn't fire. When asked why he replied that he thought they looked like ducks coming towards him, but geese flying away, "when i was sure what they were they were gone".
The radiologist was next.
He also saw some birds flying over, the radiologist raised his gun but didn't fire. When asked why he said that he thought they were ducks on the AP view, but by the time he could see them in the lateral it was too late.
Next was the surgeon.
As the birds came along he started firing wildly in the air, ducks falling like rain.
When the smoke cleared he picked up the ducks, handed them to his friends saying:
"Hey look, I took care of it!
Now tell me... are these wacky things ducks or not?"
...
An IC patient asks their uro if their cystoscopy with hydrodistention will be painful. The uro answers "Only when you get the bill"
(^I came up with that one)
...
On board a flight to Hawaii, the pilot announced, "That thump you heard was our last engine conking out. I'm really sorry to tell you this, but we are going to crash into the ocean."
In the stunned silence that followed, an angry voice spoke out. "Dammit! That stupid doctor of mine! He said I was gonna die of cancer."
"He lied!"
...
What's the difference between God and a doctor
God doesn't think he’s a doctor :bonk:
...
Okay, I hope you liked those, and they didn't offend anyone or anything weird like that.
Have a good day, and remember: never accept a drink from a urologist :ignore: