Want to Go to Church But am Afraid with IC

[songbird7]

Wanting to go to church but there is some bus travel involved and some walking. I don't know if I could make it through the whole thing. Maybe I will call the church and ask if ok to leave in the middle and come back. I guess if IC hit during the Communion I wouldn't go back in as it could be disruptive to others. Ideas on this? I also feel close to God wherever I am but it would be nice to have this community happening at the service. What do you all think? With the unpredictability of IC and all is this an idea worth trying?
(((( ))))))))))))))) :welcome:

[Betsie]

Two thoughts:

Typically (and I am not a regular for a long time) it is quite easy to slip out and use the ladies room....maybe sitting near the back would be less disruptive to exit and re enter.

If you do call the church, perhaps they have some parishenors near enough to you for a ride. If you can just get there and get estsablished, it might be possible to get aquainted with some people who can help you get to church.

I would call the parish office and see if they have anythoughts...I doubt they would ever view leaving for the bathroom as disruptive...so don't give up, especially if this is something you might enjoy. I'm sorry it is so far for you to get their on your own. I s a cab out of the question?

[Dixiefireball]

Just a thought but most churches has vans or little buses to come by the homes and pick up people who would like to go to church. you can call and find out.
when i'm at church i set on the back prew so if i need to get up to go to the bathroom everyone don't have all eyes on me. The preacher knows about my diesase. So he knows its not disrespectful.

If the church your wanting to go to has a van/bus that would make it easier on you too.

Good Luck hon. I hope your able to get there.

[songbird7]

Thank you everyone. Some really good ideas. A cab too expensive. Sitting at the back a very good idea and also getting to know others. The church is next to a university and during noon or so so students can participate. There aren't any buses connected with the church. I am shy but I think I could get to know others and maybe there is someone in my neighborhood who goes there if all I know.
Thanks much and God bless you all,

[Betsie]

I hope you find your way, somehow...it sounds very important to you and also a very vital place of comfort for you....it's okay that your shy, but I think contacting the parish office or the minister/priest might turn up some worthwhile options. Good luck to you. BTW-how far away from this church are you and is this your personal parish or might there be another closer to you.

Hugs.

[songbird7]

Betsie and all,
I have not established myself in a parish yet as I've recently moved. I especially like this one because there are a lot of young people there from the university and the priests there are very easy to talk to. Calling the parish office is a good idea. I also may look into another parish closer by. I'm so glad you are writing. How far away am I? Well maybe we are talking about a mile or so. The public transportation is good and the buses on a street 2 short blocks away run often and I could walk the rest of the way if between flares. But who knows? There may be someone right near here who could pick me up and give me a ride. My concern is the effort to get thre and how my bladder will respond. The unpredictability of IC is starting to get me down.
((((((((( )))))))))))))))))))

[Sarojini]

I really think you should try it... while I'm not really a church-goer, it sounds like this is very important to you, so... when something is important to you, I think you should do all you can to find a way to do it.

I agree with Betsie's advice about calling the parish office. It is possible that the priests will visit you at home to talk to you about solutions to your dilemma first -- I know that the priest from my grandmother's church has visited her many times, as she is 90 and has many health problems, so she cannot always attend Mass. On bad days, he can also bring Communion to your home if you just cannot make it out. Priests are there for their congregations -- ALL members, and are usually willing to work with you.

The priest may have some solutions for you and may be able to suggest people to get in contact with for rides. Also sitting in the back, and perhaps wearing a Poise pad or something for peace of mind, will be okay. I know that as a kid we used to sit in the back of the church and occasionally I would slip out to the bathroom, and then slip back in. I am SURE the priest will not mind, especially if he knows you have bladder problems.

[radstudent]

I know exactly how you feel. I have a hard time at church. I had interstim put in 2 years ago and am unable to sit in the pews. I was really worried about what I was going to do. At the time I was also the teacher for the pre-primary class in Sunday School. My church has been very understanding though. After the interstim surgery I took in one of those lounge chairs that fold up and fit into a bag for me to sit in. I also got somebody to teach my class for a couple of months. Most people just told me that they wanted my seat and laughed. I was the only person at church who could lay down during the services. Once I was able to sit up I took in two of the camp chairs that fold into a bag. I had one downstairs for my class and one upstairs for services. I just sit in the back behind everybody. Lucky me the bathroom is just a few feet away from me so nobody even notices that I get up. This could be an option for you. our church has really been growing for the last 2 years and we have had lots of visitors. When people see me sitting in the back in my "special" chair it just makes them feel more comfortable knowing that their needs will also be accomidated. I agree with Betsie about talking to the minister, they could really help in your situation. If they are unwilling to make accomidations then it just isn't the right church for you. Good luck.

[Betsie]

You are getting lots of encouragement, so I am thinking...hey give it a fair try. Try to think of the issues that might be a problem for you in pieces rather than a huge concern. You may find it is easier when broken down. we know you can sit in the back, we know you can slip out, as many always have and still do and we know you could benefit from being part of such a community...in time I bet you would even find a friend to drive you.

Speaking with the minister can't hurt at all and you need not be specific other than you have a health situation that places certain limitations...if and when you choose to discuss the IC part, you can do it when you are comfortable with the parish and it's members.

So, don't give up...the weather is better now, well it;s not the same in CA as it is on the East Coast-LOL...but it just sounds like a good fit. You may find you are more able to do things as your comfort sone kicks in. I don't think nerves and bladders have ever made a great combo...even as children, when we are nervous, we need to pee...so give it a chance, take a big risk and see if you don't feel better just from one service. If you are attracted to this church than don't comprimise, a mile isn't so bad. Maybe one vist in a cab would be worth it. Just to get there the first time. :) let us know and I do hope you can find a solution.

[songbird7]

I went to church and it worked out so well. The Masses (services) during the weekdays at certain hours can be shorter than on Sundays. Without leaving anything essential out of the Mass. Since the weather got better I've been doing better sometimes. I went to church yesterday and it was awesome. Thank you everyone for your support. I sat in the back so I could leave to go to the bathroom as necessary and I was amazed that I did not have to do that.
Thank you everyone so much.
With hugs, gentle healing and gratitude to all here,
I continue to pray for everyone with IC and chronic illnesses and that a cure may be found that does not involved torturing animals (giving them IC),
Whether I am on the board a lot or a little, I think of you all and offer support.
((((((((( ))))))))))))

[jaime15]

Songbird........I'm so glad you were able to give church a chance. And especially that it worked out for you! People are really sweet and I'm sure before long you'll have made plenty of friends and have lots of rides from them to get there.
The worse thing about my church is it's 40 minutes away from home. I just go to the bathroom right when we get there. Every other month I teach sunday school so hubby tends to crack open the door to take over if I need to run to the bathroom. And I go again right before services.
Like the others suggested.........I am one of those that sit in the back row of pews. Also hubby does the sound booth from time to time and I'll sit in the back and away from the others, with him, so if I slip out only our minister sees me.
A few of the members know of my disease. I'd rather keep it to a minimum.

Lately I've noticed that there is a line to the restroom after church. Some of them went right before church, just like I did. So that makes me feel kinda 'normal'!! ;)

I hope it continues to work for you and you have a great time as well.... :grouphug:

[kadi]

Yep, I sit in the back as well & go before/after church as needed because I also have a 35 min drive each way. On weekends when I'm flaring or am too tired to go, I listen to the service on the radio. My church broadcasts an hour of it's 10:45 service, so I can catch the sermon that way from home...

I'm glad you were able to go & I'm sure there will be some way for you to continue within the community if you decide to...