Anxiety in the car

[DawnsRuby19]

I know, people must be getting sick of me posting on here, but I just have one more question at the moment.
I have a horrible time being in a car. All I have to do is look at my car and I start having an anxiety attack. I don't even know why I do. I know that all I have to do is pull over somewhere on the side of the road or stop at a place I know has a restroom for me to use. For some reason, even knowing that I get so scared. I can go about 3 minutes in a car before I start getting the sensation that I have to urinate. Once that accures I start rubbing my neck (aparently that is my partners cew to start looking for a place for me to go). Once that starts happening I can usually last another 4 or so minutes before I do start getting very anxious and actually have an accident. You can imagine that this makes road trips very long and emotional. As is so happens my urologist is about 40 miles from where I live and it's all interstate the way there. There is only ONE actual restarea on the way there and back. But luckily my partner and I have found our life saving gas stations on each exit for me to use.
Sorry for making this long, but I was wondering if other people have to deal with this as well, and how you end up dealing with it. Is there any way to get over this with out having to take any more medications? My mother is thinking about bringing me to a hypnotist to see if that will help with my mental standpoint on thinking I always have to urinate. Thank you all for reading this.
-Crystal

[ICNDonna]

Please talk to your doctor about this. There are medications available that would help you with this.

Donna

[Stephanie2004]

The vibration from riding in the car, especially on the freeway, really irritates my bladder. Ordinarily, my only symptom is pain -- I don't usually have frequency or urgency. Exception: as soon as I hit a bit of freeway without perfectly smooth pavement, urgency strikes instantly. At that point, I have a limited amount of time to find a bathroom. It's the only time (except for the occasional huge, three-alarm flare) that I have frequency or urgency.

Since vibration bothers my bladder, I was really worried about what would happen when my downstairs neighbors started using their ceiling fans this summer. Last summer (pre-IC), I had a really hard time getting used to the vibration enough to sleep. Last week, we had a warm night, and the vibration from the fans was not a problem. Thank goodness!

[hisjenn]

i agree with Donna, i would talk to my Dr. about this

i do not have this problem, i dread the car, because it makes my pain so much worse... i don't have a problem with the having to go, cause we live fairly close to everything.

i am sorry to hear of the anxiety it causes you and hope that you find a solution soon!

[Imustpee]

I understand...I did the same thing for YEARS...Grrrr...I DREADED car trips, my absolute worst fear?? Getting stuck in traffic! AHHHH...One time I had to pee in a plastic grocery bag, and descretely open the car door and pour it out... :mad:

[Betsie]

I think when something as simple as riding in a car causes you this severity of fear/nerves..it is definitely time to discuss this with a Dr/pschologist or both. Yes, perhaps you will have to go...but this is an unqualified fear and seems to me, the thoughts, more than the actions are interfering with your quality of life...this is when we need help...please look for solutions.

[trytosmile]

I so agree. If I have to make a road trip of any distance I will dehydrate myself starting the day before. I know, that isn't healthy but what can you do. I swear I know where the bathroom is on route to anywhere and where it is when I get there because that is the first place I have to zoom too, forget the cart, off to the potty. And like many of you when I gotta go, I gotta go. No time for nothing. Gets very frustrating.

My urologist just added Detrol LA to my mix of pleasures and it has helped the urgency somewhat. That been said, I find it harder to void now. I've read that this can be a side effect of this particular medication. Will discuss with my uro next visit.

[DawnsRuby19]

Thank you all so much for responding. You are all absolutely right. My mom keeps telling me that she thinks I wont let myself go into remission. I don't even know how I would know if I did go into it. I perfectly fine when I am in a place I know well and can relax. If I am just lounging around at my home or a friends I will only need to go maybe once every 1-2 hours. But as soon as I hear the word "car" or "go some place else" I get anxious and start thinking about "ok, well 3 miles down the road is a hotel where I can use the restroom in the main lobby.. 5 miles after that is the grocery store.." I will put up a fight if I have to go someplace I have never been before. Usually what happens is my boyfriend will go to the place first and scout out all the restrooms for me, and then come back and get me. I hate putting him through that, but atleast he understands my fears. My biggest fear is having an accident infront of people. Before I quit my job, I was starting to experience that a lot. There were a few times when I did have an accident on my way to my job which was only 4 or so miles from my house. I just don't ever want that to happen again. I know a lot of my IC is mental. But I think with this disease it's harder on people who have it because all you can think about is when and where you can go. Well, atleast that is how it is with me. But I guess it is time for me to buck up and go and get medical help for this. Because I don't want to live that way anymore. I want to live my life the way I used to and not worry about what place has a restroom and which one doesnt.
-Crystal

[Sarojini]

Yes, car trips used to be awful for me... I would immediately have to urinate because of the vibration, and it would become more and more painful as we went along. However, when I found the proper medications for me, it got better. I also now use a TENS unit in the car, and the electrical buzz from that helps on longer trips. I also sit on a cushion I bought from the ICN store and this cushion seems to make the ride more comfortable. But I still know all the good restrooms in the city, just in case!

[DawnsRuby19]

Jen-Yeah, that is the same for me. Detrol LA is actually the first medication any of my uros proscribed to me. I've been on it for close to two years now. I still get my urgencies a lot. I have trouble voiding if I have already gone up to 20 minutes prior. (car rides and any kind of shopping i have to do, i am feeling the urge every 5 minutes). Whenever I feel any kind of stress, I have to go.

[Dixiefireball]

Hon i'm sorry your going threw that it must be the fear of being away from the bathroom that makes you go into these attack the fear of having to stop and use the restroom on the side of the road etc. I have these attacks when i have to go into wal marts (mainly walmarts) because running three children them fussing and fighting over who is going to push the buggy they want this they want that etc. etc. etc. i feel a feeling running down my body i can't really explain it but then i have to go go go.
if i get in a large group of people i don't know or i know that i have to go somewhere new by my self i get that panic feeling of i gotta gotta go right now.
I found that taking my klonopins three times a day instead of just at night does help with this, but still i have the fear of driving (i believe that is because of a bad car accident june 1 1995 wasn't our fault but my head busted the window. my son head got busted because of that wreak he has a speech problem he had nightmares. it was awful it total our car.
so i link my fear of driving back to that wreak even tho i wasn't the driver. I never heard that wreak happen but yet there for a few years i could hear it in my dreams
at the time i only had two children both where in car seats both where a sleep it hit harder on passager side of the car. glass busted everywhere we picked glass out of hair i beat for a mth.

just a thought but have you been in a bad car accident? or was in a car trip for a long peroid of time and couldn't go to the bathroom and really had to go before? this could be the link to your fears.

Please talk to your doctor about what is going on so he/she can help you.

Oh hon don't worry about asking to many question Never worry about that! that is what we are all here for is to help each other because we care. we all had to start off somewhere learning.

sending you many hugs and prayers
Rhonda

[DawnsRuby19]

Rhonda thank you so much. Yes I have been in a couple car accidents. But both were back during the first stages of my IC. The first one was in the winter time and I was driving up to my college. I was looking for a place to pull over when I hit a patch of black ice and my car did a 180 into a telephone poll/snowbank on the other side of the road. Luckily I was fine and so was the car. I think the snow helped out with the intake. But I was still shaken up a bunch. My doctor thinks I tore some muscles in my neck from the impact but nothing serious. The second time, the same thing happened only it was in the fall.. I was in the process of getting out of my car on a little pull over rest stop where there are not restrooms, just a bunch of trees. I thought i put my car in park, but it must have slipped out of gear because when i opened my door to get out, my car kept moving and I got dragged about 50 feet until my car finally got jammed in a guardrail. Same thing with that, I got out free with only a minor concussion and some scrapes on my legs from being dragged. Trust me, both seem much worse then what they really were to me. But even before those I was always stopping and pulling over to void. The only thing now is that I rub the back of my neck when I start getting the urges, and my boyfriend seems to be more aware about it then I am. I guess that it is he cue to find a place for me to go. Half the time I don't even realize I do it. I will start to do it and he'll be like "do you need to use the restroom now?" and I'll be like "yeah, how'd you do know" stupid question on my part. hahaha. I always have to go. But I guess it's nice to know that he is always aware of the changes in my body language.

[vm]

Have you heard of the Travel Johns the ICn sells? It's a portable little way to go the the bathroom in the car or anywhere. I wondered if having something like that available would help you?

[Dixiefireball]

Dawn it does sound like its link back to those car accidnets in the pass but i'm no doctor! Please talk to your doctor to see if they can help you. Plus Kim (VM) gave you a good idea that i didnt' even think of those travel johns in the ICN shop i heard there wonderful. if you have something like that with you in the car you want have to stop to go you can just place a coat over you and go in them. that may help your fears too.

Good Luck hon please let us know how things go remember we do care.
sending you hugs and prayers
Rhonda

[DawnsRuby19]

Yeah, I have looked into them, but I have somewhat of a shy bladder. I don't know if I could actually go in one while being in the car. I usually wear a pad when I know I am going to be in the car for more then 15 minutes anyway. Just incase I have some drippage.. I always feel weard putting one on when I'm not menstrating. I feel like sometimes if I get caught putting one on I have to come up with the excuse "Oh I think I might be getting ready to start" which is a valid excuse because I menstrate twice a month anyway. (due to my high blood pressure/stress levels). I know a lot of my problems are mental due to the fact I don't think I have totally accepted the fact that I have this problem. I am just now starting to come to grips on a lot of issues I have been dealing with concerning my IC. I guess that is a MAJOR slap in the face for me to go see a psych. I have been blaming a lot of stuff on my IC and not really doing anything about it. Like, I had to take a medical leave from college, I had to quit my job, I get scared leaving my house. I havent been the dentist, which is something I need to do. I think that is why I came here. I need to feel not so alone. I don't know that I have found you guys again. Thank you all so much!.

[marye]

Don't be too hard on yourself. Many of your concerns are very logical. Living with IC can be a logistics nightmare! Everything you do has to be planned around available restrooms and it's often embarrassing. Over time you really do get to dread any situation that you can't control. And car vibrations are a real problem.
That's great that your guy is so considerate. I get after my husband because when I say I'd like to stop at the next restroom, he tends to get more anxious than me about finding one. I keep telling him I don't need his stress too! Even if you don't use the Travel Johns, you may feel more secure if they are with you just in case. I went halfway across the country in a van with a portapotty that I never used, but I wouldn't have dared try to go without it.
Good luck, and keep on trying, it will get easier.

[DawnsRuby19]

Marye, yeah that is how I feel. I feel like I am in charge of this big plan and everything has be exactly planned out or something bad will happen. I know exactly where every single restroom friendly place is within a 30 mile radius of my house. Sometimes I just want to laugh at myself and then I want to cry. I just feel so stupid being worried about where the next place is for me to use a restroom. My life feels like it revolves around a toilet. I get so embarressed driving around with people I don't really know because of this. I hate being like "oh, I need you to pull over here." 5 minutes later "oh can you pull over there" My boyfriend doesn't really understand it. He thinks that everyone will understand and not say anything about it or get angry, but I feel differently about it. Being in a car with someone who doesn't understand this disease scares me because I don't know how they will react. My parents have actually started blaming themselves for my problem, because they think it was caused due to them always telling me to "hold it" while we were on car rides. I think I just figured out another reason why I have anxiety about being in car now... I guess that will have to be something else I mention to my doctor next week when I go in to talk about this. This place is really helping me out and actually thinking about what is going on with me. It's so easy to get locked in this deep depression and think there isn't going to be anyway out of it. But once you start thinking about things and getting things put together in order the answers are right there infront of your face. No wonder why therapists get paid so much! haha.. Sorry.. But thank you all. I think.. No I KNOW I am going to go to bed happy tonight because of this. Thank you.
Crystal

[marye]

Crystal, keep positive thoughts. I've been planning my life like this for 31 years. It's not fun and you do give up things, and it is awkward, but you can have a full and interesting life. Mine just didn't happen to be the one I planned. You're lucky, they're making progress now and someone is going to help you very soon I'm sure. Let the doctor help with your anxiety about this, and maybe help with some coping skills to deal with a very real problem.
Best of luck. Mary

[Betsie]

Crystal,

I agree with the others~don't spend so much time beating your self up. Unless this is a dangerous attitude for you, I wouldn't even spend too much time analyzing the "car fear". My guess (and it is truly just that) would be something set you off and it is evolving into something bigger than it really is.

I would speak to someone (and as I just read in an above post, since my first response to this ~ I hope you didn't think I was feeling you have a fear of remission) and just concentrate on simple solutions...ie; are your meds working properly (detrol) and would wearing something as simple as a day pad/leak pad take away the anxiety.

I have a much bigger fear of rest stops than an accident...though that is not my problem, I have had about a dozen "stress incontinence" incidents and they started long before my IC onset (or did they? hmmmmmm). But a deep cough, laughing fit or similar have set these off a few times....so I did experiment with wearing those little thin pads....

Anyway, my point is try not to make it a bigger problem...see it for wjat it is. You don't want to have an accident while driving or riding....so perhaps just tuning into small solutions and discreet ones at that would bring your comfort level up. I would go so far as to suggest that you try this on your own and see if you feel beter in anyway.

You can always discuss it with your Dr if it continues...I am sure you can find a solution, just don't be too hard on yourself, that never gets us anywhere. :)

[Hangin' Tough]

I am lucky enough to be working (for the time being), but I have a 1 hour commute each way. It is sometime very unnerving to think about the trip, but I always carry my hospital issued urinal. I can see for a woman where that might be a difficult manuver. I recently went on a 12 hour trip over two days and the anxiety of not knowing where the next rest stop was caused me anguish at times.These are issues that all of us are faced with at one time or another and they test our fortitude. This disease is not for the faint of heart. Hang in there, it has to get better.

Steve