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MakinIT
04-01-2005, 05:23 PM
You know....I haven't checked in on the boards for a while. I feel bad but that 's generally cause I have to chase kids off my laptop (we have computers but mine is the important one for everyone else) and when I have it, I fall asleep. But I have to write tonight. (geez..its been so long I forgot exactly what my screen name was, as far as spelling goes.)

Ok..so like last weekI had an appointment on Tuesday (the 22nd) and the bus ride out ther was horrible. My lower back was loudly complaining until I got to my pysch's office. I had my visit...went home just as miserably, stood in the freezing cold waiting for the Vancounver bus to get me (Yes, door to door but they can't gaurneee times) That night, my daughter, my daughter's choir's concert. half way through, My bladder got hit with an axe through my midsection and my limbs went in 4 diferent directions IE: askew and spread eagle. And I jumped. Right durning the middle of a beautiful latin piece.I tried to go the bathroom but couldn't and I paced, paced, paced.....got home and grabbed my valium, shaking, percocet (on top of the reg. drugs like Topamax, zonagran, morphine, atarax, hydroxizine...) I still couldn't sleep, I hurt so much. I had to cath. I dove for he bed and heat. But pretty much thrashed all night. Next morning, as I staggered around in a daze of pain and confusion, I realised I had lost the black pearl off my ring. I have a gaurentee for lifetime but I don't think I've brought it in as often as needed to replace the pearl. this ring means more to me than my wedding ring as hegave it to me when I first got IC when I was incredibly insecure about where I now fit in life. I was bawling, as well as being in extreme pain.

Called my pysch, left him a message, just to let him know on his message what my frustrations were, from a direct point. (I had tried to explain but couldn't until then) Got a hold of my urologist. She told me to stop listening to the quote "jerks who were making my life miserable by making me feel guilty and take my damn valium...at least until this horrible flare was over" (in the course of 5 days I cathed myself 6 times, my husband actually had to help once b/c I was shaking so hard in pain.) Then I called my chiro and he actually drove over on Saturday, picked me up and took me to his office andand gave me a full treatment including a pelvic treatment that was new, and turned me over and did an odd energy treatment with me that truly worked well. :bow: However, I have been in moderate painsville eversince. My GP wants me to have some surgery to remover adhesionsbut I can't take any more surgeries. He did refill my breakthrough meds, and ofcourse, my reg morphine. My psych did a very, very awesome hypnosis to quiet my annxiety and get me ove the fear of my husband's blow ups. (yes...my husband has been getting under my skin lately about money.....gives me his checkbook 3 weeks ago to buy groceries (which Ido, when I feel ok) and is surprised yesterday when he looks and sees I've spent 370 bucks on 5 people.)

ICNDonna
04-01-2005, 05:41 PM
I'm so sorry you've had such a rough time recently. Do they think it's the adhesions that are causing the worst pain? I know when I was being diagnosed with IC I had severe adhesions and they were extremely painful. I did end up with surgery and it was a real help to me. I do understand not wanting more surgery, but sometimes it's the best option --- and in the past 30 years they've made many improvements and many times adhesions can be removed with laparoscopic surgery.

Sending warm healing thoughts,
Donna

Dixiefireball
04-01-2005, 05:43 PM
I'm sorry hon you are having such a rough time but please know we are always here for you and love you.
sending you hugs and prayers
Rhonda

twiggy
04-01-2005, 05:44 PM
My what a wicked time you are having! I am sorry that you are in so much pain and I pray the pain vanishes soon and you feel better! I hope you have at least one physician that you trust to oversee your case. It sounds very complicated to me. I also hope you have someone that you can talk to as that is very important in these difficult times. Please know that you are not alone and that others do care. Sending healing thoughts and prayers your way. Hang in there! Yes, IC is a nasty, nasty disease. It's one day at a time and hope for a brighter, pain free future.

MakinIT
04-02-2005, 02:16 AM
Hi Donna...Adhesions are an ugly evil visous cicle for me. (my poor spelling..can you say valium and 4 am) Outside scars, whether of my own making (falling down on trail bikes (ha! like, I remember those good ol days with a huge twinge of pain) or surgery (ankle reconstructions, shoulder reconstructions....) or all the crap in my internal areas (pelvis)...come to think of it, even my wisdom teeth surgery left huge lumps in my mouth. Every single time anyone thinks of looking inside me, my adhesions (scar tissue) multiply ten fold. I feel better for a bout 6 weeks (about the time I can have "normal" relations with my husband, then WHAM....by now I know exactly what it is.)
I do appreciate the thought though, most people laproscopic surgery works great. Another problem is, I know from the way it feels, its gonna take more than laproscopic. They are going to have to "sigh" cut me open, as usual, and untangle me. So I wait until I have to. I'm prob. getting closer than I want to admit. What's that su rgery called? not laproscopic but the one that means "cut you accross the fattest part of your belly so you really have a hard time sitting up and realize everyone got to see all the layer s of fat your doc had to cut through. (man, why don't they just through in one of those sucking things while they are at it..? after all the crap there should be some benefit. :bonk:

Rhonda: Always nice to hear from you. I feel bad because I only communicate when life sucks, and lately when life really sucks. I see a psych for chronic pain and while he's great for kicking me in the ass, he still doesn't totally get it. he got an ear ful on his answering machine the other night, called back to make sure I was "stable"....(my health plan gives me extra visits to him b/c I'm a suicide risk on their assesment scale. all for naught soon..our states, oregon and washington, will be having Mental health Parity on their health plans soon.that means whatever physical care we are offered in terms of seeing an MD we also will have seeing a psych.) Bout time. I always thought that was odd. Not that I'm crazy but I'm sure low at this point in my life.


twiggy, i really appreacialte the kind thoughts an d words. I gotta go cuase i ;m falling asspple now as I write this. bjt you are very considerate, you are right. this disease sucks.

Tracey

jaime15
04-05-2005, 08:01 AM
It's really o.k that you are only coming on here when you need the support on those icky days. That's what's so great about our message board........I hope things look up soon.... :grouphug: