Just lost my baby girl....

[traceann]

My kitty girl, Cali just passed away yesterday. I am sooo upset, I don't know which end is up. She ended up at the vet's Sunday for an emergecy office call, and she had a tooth abcess, and he shot her up with anti's, gave her fluids and I had to make an appt for kitty dental surgery, which was yesterday. After two terrifying nights, the infection really gave her a lot of neurological side effects, which just made me sick to think she had to deal with, the appt day was finally here. I had so much hope, as did the vet. But the she didn't tolerate the anesthesia well, and had to be given drugs twice to get her heart rate back up, but it didn't work, and her poor little body just couldn't take anymore. He had to put her on a vent and he called me with the news. I had to let her go.

What do I do now? Her and my other kitty-girl Michelle, aka Missy - are my little love's of my life? One of the team is gone, and it's awful. It's so wrong feeling. They are my buddies and my babies who keep me company at night, when I am feeling yucky due to IC, they were/are there. I think I may want to get another one, at some point, but not as soon as people seem to think I should, that doesn't feel right at all. It's amazing, I always knew they were/are such a HUGE part of my life, but now I feel it even more, they are my weekday world, then "daddy" (my sweetie) comes home on the weekends, and it's the 4 of us (the 5 of us plus grammie, lol). Crazy sounding, I know. I am just so upset, and have the guilts, "should have done this, should have done that" etc. I know it gets better with time, been through this 4 times before, but damn, I don't want to wait.

Oh well, thanks for letting me vent a bit on my baby, sure do miss her. :angel:

Tracey

[dancemomof2]

Ohhh tracey so sorry, we thought we were gonna have to put my 13 year old Golden down last Thursday and he pulled through Thank God. I feel so bad for you right now. Sending hugs.

[traceann]

Thanks Leslie! My new mantra is "no more pets!", but I know that's not going to happen........ The vet was really confident too, that's why I was so hopeful, but between her age and the infection, it was too much for her. I was sooo exicted at the thought of getting her on the road to feeling better, he said once we got the source of infection out, she'd probably feel like a brand new cat. So, I went to Kmart and bought some more canned food, and some of that milk for cats without lactose, figured she'd like that. Hope my cat Missy will enjoy it, although anything "different" she won't eat, thinking there's got to be "medicine" in it, lol.

This is horrible, couldn't even go home for lunch today, since she always came downstairs and shared my bagel or oatmeal with me, lol. And she'd just beg for potato chips, even reach out her paw to snag one from you if she could, lol.

Tracey

[SharonA]

Tracey...Pets become such an important part of the family. I am so sorry about your Cali. :kissing:

[dancemomof2]

Hugs Tracey, I was convince I was losing Montana, that I signed a contract and sent a deposit on another puppy. Non-refundable of course. It looks like 4 dogs for me come June. I can't stand the thought of losing any of them, sending you and Missy extra hugs.

[Katrina]

:kissing: :grouphug: :kissing: :kiss::kiss:

[kelly McC]

I am so sorry tracey

[Sarojini]

:grouphug: I know how hard it is to lose a kitty :( I am so sorry :(

[missychan]

I'm so sorry, give Missy an extra hug for us tonight... you too!


Missy
(I love her name!)

[traceann]

Oh thank you everyone!!! I just don't know what to say! :) Ou guys are sooo wonderful, it's makes such a huge difference to me, and makes it sooo much easier to get through the day. At least today I can think about her without crying instantly.

My poor Missy cat,lol, gets all kinds of squishing and hugs and petting, I think she's thinking mom's flipped. :) She goes to her favorite sleep spots, and I go and drag her out with me. (hee hee, yep, I always thought Missy was a pretty great name too! :) ) Although, she's anything but lady-like or petite, other nickname is "Tank", lol.

I must say though, that the neighbors must have thought I was crazy until they realized I didn't have any kids - but cats, when I'd have the windows open in the summer and would have to yell at either Fred (he's gone now too) or Missy to get off the table or the counter or something....

Thanks again, everyone!! Love you guys!
Tracey :)

[desolationangel]

:grouphug: I firmly believe that pets and children get to go wherever they want after they die, so she'll be watching over you.

[traceann]

Oh thank you soooo much, that's a wonderful thought! The tough thing was she died the day after the anniversary of my dad's death, which was 3/7, back in 1989. So, to have her die this week, one day after his anniversary was kinda tough. BUT I like to think she's with him now (and all my other little animal angels), and he's probably cussing me out right now for one more he has to take care of, lol. But at least he's there to watch over them and pet her and love her!!!

Hugs,
Tracey :)

[rhea]

:grouphug: :grouphug: BIG BIG HUGS TRACEY... I lost my baby Spot and her son within 7 days of each other a few years back and I do know how heart wrenching it can be. I still get teary eyed when I look at pics of Spot and Tigger...I did the no more animals mantra too...didn't take. I now have 5 cats, 2 dogs and a squirell...oh well...just call me Elly May... :kissing:

[traceann]

Oh my, I LOVE it!! That's definitely me, at one point I had 6 cats...good thing I have a reasonably sized home!!LOL 3 were the "upstairs dwellers" and 3 the "downstairs dwellers" lol. And 3 litter boxes....

I kept telling my sweetie, I am done, I can't do anymore furry critters, I love them way too much, and I too still get all weepy when I look at most of their pictures, I miss them all for all their crazy little animal reasons, lol. But, he says, that I don't mean that, and he wants more cats, so we will have more, but I say "no, we will have fish!!" And he replied, "fish won't come down the stairs to greet you and sit in your lap!" And I say, "oh yes they could, I will go upstairs, net one and pop it into a little bag filled with water and plop it on your lap, how's that??" He still ain't going for that plan....

Well, you wouldn't be the first Elly May, one of my girlfriends has the blonde hair and at one point in her pet collecting had:4 chinchillas, 2 guinea pigs, 2 prairie dogs, 2 dogs, 2 cats, 4 horses and one hedgehog ("in a pear tree", LOL).

Um, how did you get a squirrell??? I had a chipmunk last fall, but I didn't invite him in and the cats seemed to think mommy got them their very own pet as they would watch it run through the living room, over to the suflower seed bag (I kept for baiting and feeding the outdoor ones) and then watch him run back down to the basement. I never did catch him, but let him out the front door a couple times, just for him to come back in from somewhere we have never determined...

Hugs,
Tracey :)

[mary124]

I'm so sorry. I believe pets are a big part of the family. I had a cat that I had for 15 years and when she died, I just fell apart. Right now, we have a dog that we have had for 11 years, and she is "my baby girl".

[traceann]

I was telling my sweetie this weekend, I always knew they were a HUGE part of my daily life, but I never even realized just how much that was. It was a weird weekend with out her.

Hugs,
Tracey

[Cali girl]

I am so sorry to hear about your little Cali. I know how hard is to lose someone that we love. I had my kitty for 16 years. When he passed away I was devestated. I had adopted him when I was very young. So I never really knew a time without him. Pets bring so much joy into our lives. And it is nice to know that we bring them so much joy too. I still miss him today. Just remember that Cali knew how much you loved her. I am sending you lots of hugs and kisses.

:angel: :cat: :grouphug: :kissing:

[traceann]

Thank you soooo much. I know exactly what you mean! I am working really hard right now to get the image of sick and scared Cali out of my brain, so in a really neat journal my girlfriend bought me (it's called a journal and play book, for adults to release your inner kid, lol, it's cool) I made a page for my kitty, listed all her nicknames and started to list out all her cute habits and quirks. Sure went a long way to helping replace the "bad" with the good!

Hugs,
Tracey :)

[icnmgrjill]

We do LOVE our babies..... and so I send my hugs out to you. Another baby will soon pick you.... so just be patient and you'll know when the time is right. She or he will let you that they've found you.

Jill

[traceann]

So very true. All of my "kids" have found me in one way or another, and that's the philosophy I go by. My sweetie teases me that he could "make it look like one had found me", since that is how I "decide" on getting another critter! :)

Tracey :)

[Julie B]

Oh Tracey............I am so sorry...........pets bring us such joy.......

[traceann]

Thanks Julie! This past Tuesday was the worst this week, as it had been exactly one week since I lost her. The vet called this morning to tell me her cremated remains were ready to pick up...Now if I can just make it through that it'll be done, and she'll be home and I can try to move forward...one little step at a time.... I sure do miss my Cali-Cat.

It was very weird this week, my other cat - Missy, has been still wandering and acting out of sorts. Which I expected, she and Cali had been together since birth. And usually, Missy would come to bed with me at bedtime, I called her my little bed-buddy. And for the past week she hasn't been doing that at all, or if she does hop up, she jumps down 2 minutes later. Well, the other night, she was sitting next to me in bed, and I looked at her and started talking to her...telling her it's ok to miss Cali, but she's not coming home, she can stop looking for her now, Cali's ok, she's with "grandpa" and she's not hurting anymore or anything and very happy etc. All of a sudden she looked at me, and relaxed and layed right down next to me, and settled in for the night. And has been every night since....very spooky, it was like she was just waiting for an explanation. I am sooo glad I did it, I felt like the "kitty whisperer". :)

Love,
Tracey :)