Depression & Stress H E L P ! ! ! ! !

[ti_fanny]

Hello everyone, I have been so depressed for the past year and a half. I have been going through terrible mood swings. My father passed away March 13, 2004. My father was a diabetic and he had both of his legs amputated when I was young. My dad could walk with artificial legs. He did a great job. My Parents starting running a tavern together 12 years ago. My father would be at the bar every morning and open the bar and bartend for an hour and then after the full time bartender would come in he would do all the book work and go to the bank. He had done this until about the last year of his life. My Parents went on Vacations and I was always left in charge. My dad had showed me over and over what to do. After The first vacation they went on, they knew that they could trust me to do this. So when my father was passing away he had asked me to take care of the bar like I did when they went on vacations and make sure mom is takin care of. I promised my dad I would. When dad passed away, it was hard. I was at the bar every morning doing the book work and everything else that needed to be done. But as of 1-4-05 I have had to break my promise to my dad which has really broke my heart. My parents business has been robbed three times since my dad has been gone and they have taking ALOT. August 2004 (1st time), 10-2004 (2nd time), and Happy New Year 1-4-05 (3rd time). I couldn't handle this anymore. The Stress is just killing me and my bladder. My Bladder has been in a flare for a year. Depression and Stress is very hard on my bladder. I can't seem to relax, I go to the bathroom and sit on the toilet and I can't seem to relax my body enough to go pee. It has been terrible and now to top it all off I haven't talk to my mom or been at the bar for two weeks and it's driving me crazy. My mom is an alcoholic and she has been drinking a lot more since all of this and she is not able to run a business by herself. I feel terrible but I can only handle so much. My whole life has changed since my dad has passed. I have 2 sisters that haven't talked to me since dad has passed. My younger sister turned to a bad drug and has changed so we don't talk. I have a boyfriend and he has been by my side threw all of this. There is so much more of this story but I'm running out of space. I have no insurance so it is hard for me to get counceling or medical help. So that just puts more stress in my life. Is there anyone out there that has found relief for there depression or Stress. I take Valium but that only seems to work for a couple hours. All I do is take pills all day and sleep so I don't have to deal with my problems or my Bladder pain. My Life Sucks!
Sorry So Long. Tanya

[ICNDonna]

You absolutely need professional help. Are there any free medical clinics near you? There's at least one in my city and local doctors form the volunteer staff so the care is good. And check to see if there is a Family Service Agency in your area --- they charge based on ability to pay and have qualified counselors.

The most important thing is that you get some help very soon.

Warm hugs,
Donna

[PenguinK]

ti fanny, I lost my father to diabetes also. I promise it will get better, it just takes lots of time - and tears. Let yourself grieve, I went into denial and that was very destructive to me.
I'm sorry about your family situation. I'm glad you have your boyfriend on your side. Is there a greif counseling group you could go to at a local hospital? Can your doctor look into changing your medications? Ask him about it and let him know what you are going through.

Good luck and God Bless,
KK :angel:

[shennan]

hang in there, girl!

if you can go to the doctors and get on an anti-depressant, it might help.

www.helpingpatiets.org is a site to get the pharm. co. to give you meds at discount or free depending your ability to pay.

good luck!

:angel: for you!

shenna
:)

[Babs RN]

Donna's right, you need to get some help very soon. You can even go to an ER if you are feeling that stressed and down and they can transfer you to an appropriate facility where you can be monitored and get some help. No one can handle everything themselves. I am trying hard to tell myself that, but am finally realizing that I need to take care of me first before I am any good to anyone else.

Hugs,
Barb :grouphug: :kissing:

[ti_fanny]

Thank you all for reading my long story. It feels nice to know there is someone else out there listening to me and being able to relate to the same thing alot of women and men have. IC!
Tanya

[redmowii]

Tanya,
I am so sorry you lost your dad. I cannot even imagine the pain that would bring. I really am sorry. I do agree with everyone else, please seek help. I am on antideppressants and they work so well for me. I do know what it feels like to live everyday in the darkness and I hate to see someone else feeling that way. I also know that you can take B12 to help with the mood swings. I take a extended release tablet once a day. Maybe that would help. I also think that if you could talk to a counselor or something that might help. If you don't feel like you can do that, I think this site is the next best thing. I hope that you feel better soon. Please post here anytime you feel you need it.
Redmowii

[andcohen]

I am so sorry for your loss & hard times you are having. I agree with what everyone else has said & deep down as much as you father loved the bussiness & wants to look after your mum I'm sure if he new your health was getting worse because of it, he would understand if you could not continue doing what you had both hoped for.
As hard as it may be you need to take care of your own well being before you can tackle anything else.
I hope it all works out for you.
Andrea :flower: :flower: :flower:

[Betsie]

Tanya,

My own mother died just 2 weeks ago. My dad died about 12 yrs ago. I can't help but think those final promises we make are okay to be broken under certain circumstances. I truly believe your father would never want you to keep a life of promises at the expense of your health and your well being. Okay, "Mom"...this is tough. I have lived this life, it's a life of constant worry at the choice of other's decisions. It is not your choice and it is unlikely you can "cure" your Mom...she needs to do this on her own.

My advice to you would be to handle the business as best you can, if that is not possible, please look into the alternatives you could choose legally. For sure your Dad would not want it run into the ground, due to deathbed promises....as for counseling, PLEASE....look into Al-Anon meetings. They are free and you will find lots of folks who do understand. I think this is where you need to be for a variety of reasons. it sounds like you are struggling to keep your head above water...please think what would dad "truly" want me to do here...chances are you will realize that promises can't always be kept, for many reasons. Do not see this as a failure, but rather as a leap of faith to take care of yourself. If you don't, there is no way you can take care of others. I had to learn this the hard way and I was lucky with one parent, as I had a year of renewed respect. I did not have this with another, and I do know how incredibly painful this can be. One day at a time, it isn't easy, but one foot ahead of the other will get you into a healthier place. Big hugs and good wishes to you!

[ti_fanny]

Hello to everyone, thank you all for reading my story and writing back. It is great to know there are people out there that DO care. I agree with everyone I need some help. I had gotten a perscription from my regular doctor for an antideppresant but I never went and got it filled. I think I will call and see if I can get a new one. I sure do need something. I went to work Sunday to bartend and I didn't even want to be there. As you all know my mom's business has gotten broken into 3 times in the last 6 months. I have been gone for a couple weeks so I don't know what's going on. While I was gone I did call my mom to let her know my son got suspended from school for fighting. She seemed very upset so I knew something was wrong, I asked her and she told me they arrested my Aunt Cindy for the break in's at the bar. My Aunt Cindy (my moms sister), started working at my moms bar in march 2004 when my dad was sick. I have no clue what the heck was going on. I had heard so many stories. I got to work Sunday and I had seen that my Aunt Cindy had been working there again. I was shaking and had goosebumps up and down my body. My mom comes in and I just freaked out and said to her "what is everything hush hush from tanya, What is going on" I believe my Aunt Cindy had something to do with it, but my mom thinks different, she believes aunt cindy had nothing to do with it. So my Aunt Cindy is helping my mom out. I didn't get into it that much with my mom because I was working and I didn't want to start a big discussion. I didn't talk much with my mom while I was there. I don't know what the heck is going threw my moms head but she need to wake up. She told me that the cops told her Aunt Cindy didn't do it but she knows who did. Well First of all why is she not in jail, and why is my mom letting her work. I dont know what is going on in my moms head. My mom said Aunt Cindy is helping out until all this settles down since I haven't been around or called. I can't handle that place anymore. :cussing:
Tanya

[July]

Praying for some peace to come your way soon.

[ldgb4]

:pray: :grouphug: Tanya,
I'm sorry to hear about your dad, I have been depressed for awhile to I found that zoloft helps me for the depression,but that doesn't mean that the same medicine will work for you. I would try to find a low income clinic and try to get some medicine and be able to talk to a counsler,talking really does help. Like the other girls said it will get better eventually but you really need to seek medical help also because I have found with mine that it doesn't go away on its own. You are in my thoughts and prays. I hope that you feel better soon.


Hugs,
Lisa

[AFgirl]

Hang in there lady. I lost my dad when i was young, it is never easy. Once I lost my sister, I thought i was going to lose it. The one thing that helped me get through it was a journal. I know it sounds corny and all, but i still use it to this day. It makes me feel so much better. It keeps me from going nuts. With the job i have, you dont have a lot of people you can trust.I have sat down and wrote 6 pages and felt great releif when i am finished. Then when you are having a bad day, you can reflect back on the stories you wrote , you can say "I made it through that, I can make it through this. I hope your flares get better. You will be in my prayers. :angel:

[ti_fanny]

hello, it's me again! Just wanted to say, as you all know it is great to talk to other people, this site is a great place for me right now. I do need help I agree 100%. I'm just in that mood where I don't want to leave the house, I don't want to deal with people, I have been in my house all this week. Been out a couple times to go to store and make sure an apartment was ready for someone to move in. Otherwise I have been sitting on the computer looking for medical help. Down and Stressed!!!!!!
Tanya

[July]

Hi Tanya,
Hope you are feeling less blue real soon! From personal experience, I know it can be detrimental to stay isolated in your house too long. Depression can really set in and preoccupy you. Being alone can be bad when you are sad. It can be so refreshing to just get outside and around other people. Gives you a brighter outlook and puts your mind on different things. But if you'd prefer not to be around people yet, just plain getting outside can be great. Try to go someplace close to home and not too crowded...maybe just go to a loved ones house or a friends house. A peaceful, quiet place where you can just relax. Libraries are a nice quiet place. When it gets warmer, you can just sit outside or take a walk if you are up to it. Take care and God bless!