Sex Hurts!!

[Flarin-up Vicky]

I tried to have sex literally 30 minutes ago, I had to stop because it started to burn! I immediately started crying . I feel less than a woman because I'm not able to please my partner!! He doesn't get upset with me or anything like that, he's really sweet and understanding and best of all patient!! But I can't help to feel that I fail him in that part of our relationship! I know it's not my fault,but I feel so dissapointed in myself when it comes down to intimacy. Is there anything that could ease the burning or pain before intercourse?

[hglsbabe]

I don't know specifically what is that is happening to you. My husband and I went without sex for almost four years. It wasn't until I found a expert who examined me and told me that I had Vulvodynia id addition to IC. She prescribed Estrace, compounded Nitroglycerin ointment(specifically for pelvic pain, it goes inside and it really works), compounded Lidocaine,Benzocaine,Lidoderm(it numbs the urethra and vaginal area). Plus I have been using the Very Private line since last March. I use the Intimate Moisture. That also really helps. The last thing is to make sure your bowels are completely empty when you do have sex. I hope this helps.

[Leigha]

I tried to have sex literally 30 minutes ago, I had to stop because it started to burn! I immediately started crying . I feel less than a woman because I'm not able to please my partner!! He doesn't get upset with me or anything like that, he's really sweet and understanding and best of all patient!! But I can't help to feel that I fail him in that part of our relationship! I know it's not my fault,but I feel so dissapointed in myself when it comes down to intimacy. Is there anything that could ease the burning or pain before intercourse?

I'm so sorry, please don't feel down on yourself because you are NO less of a woman.

I used to get bad burning when sex started too.. Then.. we started experimenting to try things that may hurt less. I don't know if you have already tried this but it really helps if you use LOTS of lube, and be very slow. Try to relax the more tense you are the harder it may be. And... if he is wearing spermicide condoms and you have some tearing? it can burn it a bit. I think I'm having a spermicide problem myself. So if you are using that maybe you can try without?

Try different things and take breaks. If it just comes down to NO WAY you can't do it there are many other sexual things you two can do together without penetration for now.

It sounds like you have a wonderful boyfriend. It can be hard to find a guy who is patient for those sorts of things. You must be one heck of a woman for him to be by your side and so patient and kind. That should tell you something. ;) It is going to be fine though, just have faith and I really hope it gets better for you hun. :kissing:

[babygirl694]

I know how you feel. It hurts soo bad when me and my husband are having sex. It burns and sometimes i just cant do it. The only time it doesnt hurt anymore is when we do it in the shower.. and even then it hurts really bad afterwards and yesterday there was even blood in my urine after we had sex. We tried using lub but it just made it hurt even worse and burn sooo bad and i just cried and cried and we had to stop before we even started. Maybe it was because we POURED it inside of me.. but even when we just put it on him it still hurts really bad and doesnt feel good and i lose the wetness. Its odd though because when we first got together and were dating and even when we first got married.. *we started dating back in may and got married in november*.. it never hurt but lately the IC has just been so bad that i cant even have sex. Like you it makes me feel like im not a good woman.. like i cant satisfy my man. Like your partner, my husband is really understanding about it and really patient and he always stops if i say it hurts.. but i just feel like i am a failure. :mad: .. plus on top of all that, i dont have insurance right now or i'd be going to the Doctor and try to get some help fixing it.. when i got married i got taken off my parents insurance and my husband doesnt have any yet and i cant afford to go and have to pay the bills by myself.. so i'm jsut gonna have to stick it out. :mad:
Anyways, its good to know im not the only person who is truely affected by this. You giev me hope. Thank you everyone! :)

[ICNDonna]

The lubricant should make it less painful --- it's possible you are sensitive to the one you are using --- have you tried different kinds?

Sending encouraging hugs,
Donna

[babygirl694]

I've only tried one kind.. so you think i should try a different kind and see if it works? . :hmm:

[Flarin-up Vicky]

The lube only makes sex more uncomfortable for me, and I have pain in my clitoris. That is the only sensation I have left in my clitoris, I've lost total pleasureable feeling!!
It hurts to touch it or for it to be touched. I used to enjoy oral sex, now it's unbearable!! My clitoris now feels raw and irritated. I think I might have vulvodynia, could this condition cause pain in the clitoris and make one lose sensation there?

[rhea]

I have found that the best lubricant is called WET Light (less calories too ;) it is a water base and causes less irritation. Also Lots and Lots and Lots of foreplay works wonders. My husband is wonderful about making love to my whole body before we actually try intercourse. I also take a bath b4 and after and have these little "ice fingers" to place inside while in tub. Easy to make, plastic gloves, cut off fingers, fill with water, freeze. Really helps. We usually try to have sex a couple times a month. I know how you feel about being less a woman, but you aren't. Truly. After dealing with this for 14 years I have learned that making love is more than intercourse. Good luck and don't give up, and he sounds like a wonderful guy. :flower:

[traceann]

My boyfriend and I have switched to Astroglide, from K-Y. And it doesn't cause the burn/raw feel that I used to experience, but just thought it was me, lol.

When I was first diagnosed and even pre-diagnosed, I started to get awful pain in the clitoris as well, it felt "numb" in a funny sort of way, the ache/pain was still there, yet to the touch, it was numb. Thought I was crazy. But, since I have been on my meds & diet, and getting things under control, thankfully that has seemed to have gone by the way-side. I am happy to report I don't get that feeling anymore. In fact all the vulvar pain I used to get (the whole area sometimes would just throb, it was horrible), has taken a hike. I am sure it is due to getting the IC under control. It used to get just horrendous around ovulation and last til my period was a couple days into it's thing.

Hope some of my experiences help!!

Hugs,
Tracey :)