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View Full Version : Having a really crappy, down in the dumps day - need support


ibtracy
01-09-2005, 07:27 AM
As many of you know I'm the goofy chic that had to shovel snow the other night and rip stitches open in my new stitched Interstim Pocket and am ordered to be on bed rest. My birthday is tomorrow and I'm really, really depressed. No one in this house understands depression or the deep dark day that I'm having. :( :( It's like my anti-depressant isn't working and I feel so alone. Everytime I look at the patio I scooped I'm angry with myself for having to prove something. The whole reason I did it to begin with was to catch my husband's attention thinking if I did something for him he'd pay more attention to me and instead I get less attention cause now he's keeping the house running and I'm glued to the bed in the bedroom with no one to talk to. My teenage daughter of 13 years would rather be in her room talking to her friends on the phone and my youngest 7 is all into playstation 2 and Jon (hubby) is running kids to basketball games as he's their coach now. So I'm alone with my little sweetpea who like i said is all enthralled in her playstation games and I'm crying :( cause I feel like it's such a deep dark day.

We're supposed to be going to my parent's house later today for supper and to celebrate my birthday (which is tomorrow, big 33) and I'm not up to going. I don't feel well and don't feel like being around people and no matter what we tell her she's going to be ****** and hurt that we aren't coming. She only understands when it's her that doesn't feel well. If we call and cancel she'll be calling her all day long trying to talk us into coming. Why don't people understand? I just don't feel like leaving the house, getting in and out of the car with my incision pain and being around people. My Mom said, "Well you can just lay in my bed while you're here". How much fun do you think that's going to be, c'mon seriously! :cussing:

My bladder is raging, I'm in the middle of a horrendous flare on top of the incision busted open thing so that isn't helping either. It's just one of those days you'd like to go back to bed and wish it all away and no one seems to understand that here at all. I've reached out to my 2 closest friends here on the ICN and neither answer their emails or their phones or buzzes on yahoo and I don't know where else to turn other than to you guys here, my ICN friends and family. I'm sure someone out there in cyber land has felt like I do today.

I'm just mad at life for giving me IC, I'm made because I have to inherit this depression problems, I'm mad that I lost my job and am in capable of working which in turn is putting alot of pressure on our marriage, I'm mad I scooped the dang snow and now am confined to bed, I'm mad at life in general I guess, it's just one of those dark, dreary, sad days that you just don't know you're gonna make it through. :toilet: I feel as though life is flushing me down this huge toilet.

I'm trying to remain optimistic (it's NOT WORKING TODAY) and besides all these feelings I'm very, very concerned that my Interstim pocket is going to become infected. Some of the drainage now is yellow not just pure bleeding and I'm worried, I've called the uro/surgeon and he isn't concerned which totally blows my mind. He was willing to call in a few more pain meds because of the increased pain I'm having but didn't feel an antibiotic was necessary. I'm really not into the idea of going back into the OR and having this irrigated or all redone due to infection so you would think they'd just put me on oral antibiotics as a precaution. I asked about putting an antibiotic cream on the incisions and they said no to keep things dry and healing = NO CREAM, well it's not dry because it's draining so much. It's slowed down some now that I keep flat in bed and still but it hurts tremendously and the pain seems to be intensifying each day - it's not in my head believe me. I tend to be a worry wart but I should be worried in a case like this.

I guess I just needed to vent and reach out to someone/anyone. I'm hurting in my heart and so lonesome :shake: I just feel like no one understands.

I'm just an emotional trainwreck I guess that's the best way to sum it up. :help:

dancemomof2
01-09-2005, 07:40 AM
Tracy, First off happy Birthday.
I am having one of those days myself, really feeling guilt and blah. i fully understand your kids issues my girls are 12 and 8 and could care less if i need anything at most times. There pre-teens there life is so much more important then mine. Have huuby from you know where also. Keep your chin up , I am sending some extra thoughts your way right now.

daydreamer
01-09-2005, 07:48 AM
I'm so sorry this all falling on you like this. You really have a lot going on, I don't think anyone could handle it well...so don't be so down on yourself. I know you feel like you're fighting this battle alone, but you're right we are here.

First I think you have to just tell yourself you are a good person and that you are doing the best job you can do at this time. If your mom or anyone else doesn't understand, I know it makes it tougher on you, but you have to do what you need to to get better from your surgery and then handle the rest later.

Are you still on antibiotics, and do you have a post surgery followup? I wonder if they've seen and heard similar stories, so that's why he's not as concerned. I know it's tough when it's you suffering though.

Just trying to send some positive thoughts your way...just remember to try to put yourself first for a while longer. I know how depressing it is too(depression runs in my family) and sometimes it's so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Hoping your afternoon gets better, sending you hugs and prayers!

kelly McC
01-09-2005, 09:18 AM
Happy Birthday,
I also am in quit a bit of pain and all the boys are glued to the x-box.... I hope your day gets better and your bladder calms for you. Hope your able to get some rest..
huggs,
Kelly

ICNDonna
01-09-2005, 10:01 AM
One thing you might consider is turning off your phone and let your answering machine pick up calls so you can get some rest. You might even give your mother a call to let her know the phone will be off so you can rest. Then do it. The best suggestion I can think of is to order some take-out food for your birthday dinner and have a picnic on your bed with just family. I know the kids won't sit still for long (kids are kids) but you could enjoy it for at least a few minutes.

Sending gentle hugs,
Donna

dancemomof2
01-09-2005, 11:02 AM
Great advice Donna, I just ordered take out and plan on a restfull as possible night now that baby is home and older kids have went to Grams for the night. Hugs Ttracy i really wish you the best right now, I so know how you feel today.

SharonA
01-09-2005, 01:32 PM
)))hugs((( and :kissing: Tracy and :birthday: 33...oh my...seems like only yesterday that I was 33. Yeah...right...many, many, many, many yesterdays, to be sure.

Seriously, I do hope you start feeling better very soon.

Leslie... )))hugs((( and :kissing: coming your way, also.

Babs RN
01-09-2005, 02:08 PM
Tracy,
I'm sorry you are having such a rotten day--or week for that matter. I wish you had more support. Hopefully you will get good news when you see the doc tomorrow. I have a spare room so if you want to come to rainy California to heal, come on down. I think I can still remember how to be a nurse...just kidding :) Did I at least make you grin? Take care of yourself, and BEHAVE!!!

Hugs and healing thoughts,
Barb

ibtracy
01-09-2005, 03:00 PM
My Mom ended up totally making me cry tonight by not understanding my not wanting to leave the house and being down in the dumps today. She said a bunch of mean things to me and then handed the phone to my step-dad who for once in life saw things from my perspective, I couldn't quit crying and he just told me he loved me and to settle down and rest and not worry about my Mother. She was saying how hurt I made her and how the I should of at least sent my girls over there and that I was making a personal attack against her by not coming. I've never been so hurt in my life. Of all people she her self suffers from chronic pain herself and should understand when someone is having a completely terrible day and not able to get out of bed other than to go to the bathroom or get something to drink. I'm in so much pain both physical and emotional and cannot believe I've been treated this way by my own Mother the night before my birthday. As if I didn't already feel crappy enough, she added fuel to the fire. I'm only sorry that I gave in and tried to call and explain the situation but I had to cause she was calling the house every five minutes trying to convince whom ever answered the phone to come out to the house and everyone kept telling her, NO, we can't Mom is too sick to travel. She just wouldn't take "NO" for an answer.

So tonight my feelings are hurt and my heart is heavy, just don't need this emotional roller coaster with all else that I have going on. I hope beings tomorrow is my birthday that it's a better day, if not I don't think I'm gonna bother getting out of bed. :( :( :(

ibtracy
01-09-2005, 07:24 PM
Today has been the day from hel* so I certainly hope beings it's my birthday that tomorrow will be a better day. I'm sure I haven't heard the end of things with my unkind/unsympathetic mother but beings I'm on bedrest and miserable enough the way it is I'm going to do my best not to let her get to me on my special day. I don't know that it will be all that special, my husband and I have NO money so there won't be any birthday surprises lurking after work, nor do we have money to eat out nor could I go out to eat if I wanted, I just have this sneaky feeling that no matter how optimistic, my 33rd birthday isn't going to be a fantastic one. Normally I'm so excited about my birthday and nothing or no one can bring me down, but I feel like i'm at rock bottom already so all it would take is for someone to just kick some dirt in my face and I'd be finished.

Excellent analogy, huh? :( If only the sun would shine tomorrow that natural vitamin C has a way of cheering me up to some extent. :) We can only hope and pray.

My teenager's boyfriend said he would pray that I would get better and have a great birthday so we'll see.

I did splurge on buying myself a couple new things from Avon, as you know Sarojini trained me a last month in selling Avon and I used my discount to buy "me" a couple little birthday surprises. Some concealer to hide the black circles under my eyes (and conceal the age) :biglaugh: and some age defying body was, hope it starts "defying" soon! :biglaugh: See I've still got "some" sense of humour left so there's still hope!

Thanks for everyone's help to cheer me up today...
TK

ICNDonna
01-10-2005, 04:03 AM
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{You******************************************************

Donna

ibtracy
01-10-2005, 04:23 AM
Hugs appreciated! :)

Love,
Tracy