no more tears, just pain

[ad8123]

Yesterday my husband moved out finally and i signed the closing papers on my home (he will sign this week). So I move back in with my family at nearly 30. Depressed does not begin to describe it. I have a new job that I am not sure I like and on top of that it is killing me the nerve block wore off and ultram is not cutting it, and I have had to take xodol. I feel like I have failed. I loved him so much that I gave up my dreams to marry him and now he just up and leaves and I am too ill to get those dreams I left behind. Depressed does not cover it. I hate my body for betraying me and I am jealouse of those that have terminal disease at least paradise is in site for them, I am trapped here in hell (isn't that what IC is after all). I was doing better before but not right now, now the world is a dark abyss what am i to do? I am not going to some shrink who will put me on antidepressants that make me gain weight like crazy and also incedently make me crazy and twitchy and what does a shrink really know anyway? unless they have been cursed with IC too. Today is a **** day in paradise for sure!
Cheer up, at least you are not me today. :headbang:

[cinder]

angela, i am so sorry things are so crappy right now. I wish there was something i could do to help. Do you have a good relationship with your MD? there are antidepressants out there that doesn't make you gain like crazy and or twitchy. you have you friends and family to help you thru this and you will get thru it. it just going to be tough and anger will be the tool to do it. i'm sorry about your marriage maybe in time things may work themselves out. :pray: i'll say a prayer for you and tomorrow another day and i hope each after that gets better for you.
cinder

[ICNDonna]

I urge you to go for some counseling. You need some help in dealing with your current situation. Also not all antidepressants cause weight gain --- actually some of them, by interfering with the nerve transmitters, can help with pain. My husband takes a very small dose (10 mg) of Elavil daily and it significantly helps with his arthritis pain.

I'm sorry you are having to go through this.

Sending gentle hugs,
Donna