Does everyone have a supportive s/o?

[wife2TJ]

I am very lucky that my dh is so supportive. Does anyone have problems with their s/o not being supportive? I mean he struggled at first and used to get upset, until he went to the dr's with me and realized it was a real problem and not all in my head and now he's very supportive and understanding, but up until that point, when he didn't understand he wasn't as much. Just curious. -Samantha

[VickiB]

Yep, I have to say I picked well. I can't imagine how hard it would be without the support I get from my hubby. He's one in a million! 25 years and that 'ol fire still burns bright!

Vicki

[vm]

My husband has always been very supportive, but I know there are some here whose husbands have not been. :( It can be really hard to be on the other side of this disease, too.

[ICNDonna]

I don't know what I'd do without my supportive husband. I developed IC less than two years after we married --- we will celebrate 33 years next April. I am truly blessed.

Donna

[Betsie]

I too am very blessed with a very understanding hubby and that was many years of support before IC joined our lives. I hope that I am equally as supportive for his issues, but truthfully he is a very patient and understanding spouse and after 30 yrs and 25 of marriage, still my best friend.

I wish for everyone someone like this man and I am thrilled for my daughters for the wonderful role model.

I do feel terribly for anyone that doesnt feel supported, but think it is hard for so many guys to deal with illness whether it's their own or others.

[dancemomof2]

Mine has his days, where he is wonderful, then there are the days when he is totally opposite. I guess I could consider him a in-between hubby.

[SharonA]

My honey is very supportive. I am one fortunate lady. :)

[ICNJess]

I am joining the club of lucky wives. ;)

[ibtracy]

Hi all. My husband isn't all that supportive, pushy yes but not supportive. I just got the lecture that I'm sitting in this house rotting away day after day. I just had surgery only 4 days ago for crying out loud. Not sure what the hell he expects from me but not dealing well with his demands today at all. I need to vent and shouldn't do it on your thread. Sorry about that. :bonk:

I'm glad ya'll have such good support systems. I have my Mom that's about it other than my little girls who do their best to understand their sick Mommy.

Life just kinda stinks right now, :(

Tracy

[mary124]

I think I have to count myself as having a very supportive husband. We have been married almost 22 years and of that 16 years I have been sick with either IC or one of the other illness that I have. ( He has been through 3 surgeries with me among other tests and procedures.) He is always taking me to my doctor appointments (sometimes he will go in with me-but mostly not) I have a close girlfriend who says that I can do anything I want and Joe will never get mad at me!! and thats pretty much true!)

[glowbug]

My husband is very suppportive, as long as I don't act sick, can still get everything I need to get done, done, don't complain to much about it, and oh yeah, take care of his needs. Then he has no problems with it. Lucky me.

[wife2TJ]

ibtracy, that stinks that he's not that supportive. I am so sorry to hear that. You can vent all you want. I could only imagine how hard it must be to be dealing with something like this and not have a good support system. I guess the rest of us are truely blessed that are s/o are so supportive.

[codyryonwoodward]

I am also a very lucky wife. :woohoo: My ex was not supportive at all :cussing: . But when I remarried I found out that I for sure had IC. We had been married for about 3 months. He has been the best never complains and is always supportive. We have been livinig on bread crumbs the last 2 1/2 yrs as I have been trying to get ssd and he never once told me to get off my bum and go find work. We have had to suffer and go with out. But I found out Nov 30 that I will get my ssd so it all worked out in the end. But I consider my self to find him he is a total gem :bow: one in a million. No one could ever replace him..

Patricia :angel:

[sunshine_77us]

My husband is not supportive. He has never been sick in his life other then a cold and I've had all kinds of problems and surgeries. When I complain or say my bladder is hurting he doesn't offer to help me at all. I work all day and he is retired and sits here all day doing nothing but playing games. I really aggravated but I won't let it get me down. I'm just thankful that I have friends that are supportive. Sometimes I wish they could have the pain for a couple of hours, then maybe they would understand.

[jaime15]

I would say I'm lucky too. But he knew what he was getting into. I had been dx'ed with IC before we began dating...........
and he wanted me bad bladder and all......... ;)

[trytosmile]

I'm one of the lucky ones. He is very compationate and is always trying to learn as much as he can about this illness. He admits that he will never truly completely understand it all because he isn't going through the pain himself but does his best to be there for me. He is supportive and always tries to keep my spirits up during the tough times.

For those who are not as lucky as me....shoot em ! LOL We are here for you 24/7/365

[Alexa]

Sorry to hear not everyone feels supported by their spouses. I met my husband shortly after being diagnosed with IC many years ago, so like Jaime he knew what he was getting into! He's incredibly loving, thoughtful and supportive and I feel blessed to be his wife (although I'd say he's pretty lucky too!) :D

[Betsie]

I like your style Alexa! :)

[Member has resigned]

I meant a wonderful person 20 months ago and we started to live togother very soon after we meant because we fell madly in love so quickly and we got engaged soon after. Soon she started getting ill, it became very hard and I tried so hard to take care of her and protect her, cure her fix her, but its hard. But now my confession for everyone who complimented me earlier in my posts on how lucky she was I never told her I wasnt divorced yet and when she asked me I lied about it. It just snow balled and snowballed. I could have probably stopped her from leaving but I think deep in my heart I did not know how to get out of that LIE, without hurting her so I let her go. I could have been more supportive if I was not living a lie. I never intended to go back to my ex wife but I couldnt fix the LIE. I loved this woman dearly and would have my life for to get better.
I guess I am telling you all this out of remorse. But there is another lesson here life will deal blows to you no matter the cause, but if you love them honesty is always best and When you get rid it and all the other garbage in your relationship and realize its garbage, you will be the best lover, companion, caretaker and friend they will ever have and when thats the case the healing process for them will be easier for them and your feelings will be stronger and be able to help them much better. So willconfessessing my lies t heal anything...no thats not my intention. My intention here is to tell you ALL to be the best person you can be and most often than not things will fall into place and thats just better for all isnt it?

This disease is bewildering, the treatments unknown and uncertain and the pain and remedies stressful. For those who are the caretakers, love them comfort them, be honest with your feelings but not hurtful and God will make getting through this much easier. I have to honest because right now because of my mistakes it feels like my pain is greater than hers although I know its not the case but the regret I will carry for the rest of my life will forever be with me and there is no treatment for it.

Yes pity is a party you attend alone so with this what I am trying to really say for ALL of those who are the companions and caretakers think about it. Your with them cause you love them and you in someway are sharing there pain but in no way can you measure yours by theirs now can you? :love:

[chainsaw]

Yes, I also have the non-supportive spouse. He thinks I don't have IC, but that I just have OAB. But then again, it doens't matter what I have, be it "ear infection", "upper rep. infection" whatever, he thinks it is all in my head.

It has been very hard on me with this IC just trying to even start the IC diet. I was dx back in May of 2003 with IC, and I have NOT been able to start the IC diet yet, because of what he likes to eat, places he likes to eat, etc...

Any suggestions? We have been married 21 years. Maybe we should start a support group on IC called "Non Supportive Spouse" support group. LOL!

Kim

[sunshine_77us]

Well, it seems like I'm usually fixing 2 different meals. I can't hardly eat anything that he likes and he doesn't try to help me at all. We have been married amost 17 years now. I stop on my way home from work a lot and buy him something to eat because I just don't feel like cooking after working all day. He is home and could go ahead and eat but he waits on me to fix it for him.

[stacey79]

I, too, have a very supportive spouse. We have been married just over five years. We first started dating when I was at the end of my freshman year in high school (five years before we got married) and he was a junior. That was when I was going through another bad IC period. Even then, he was good to me. Neither one of us believed in sex before marriage. We talked about it as well. Even from the beginning when we were 15 and 17 and I told him that I may never be able to have sex, he was fine with that! My IC did get much better, but flared up again two years ago at the end of grad school. Now that we are married it is even nicer because he is always there and will help me out. He also makes me laugh and distracts me when I get nervous about things, like having a hyrdo done. My husband is also a very picky eater. He likes to snack more than anything. He has been very supportive of the IC diet and will come home and make himself a peanut butter sandwich and chips or something. He is such a blessing to me! :)

I am so thankful God put us together. I don't deserve such a blessing. I wish that every marriage could be strong and supportive.

[poetgirl]

My boyfriend is just wonderful. :) When we first started dating, I told him I had IC and VV, and he went and did research on his own to learn more about them. He'd find information on remedies and send me emails, asking if I'd tried them. I'm fortunate that my symptoms have improved to where I have few flares and if I do, they are not severe and usually go away in a day or two. But if I'm not feeling well, he is always sympathetic and caring.

My ex-husband lost all patience with it, even though he was there from the beginning and saw how my symptoms developed over the years. Granted, it did affect our sex life to where just about every time we did anything, it caused painful flares for days on end, so I really didn't have the desire to do much. That didn't do a whole lot for our relationship, and he accused me once of it being "all in my head" because he was frustrated at how things were. However, I will say that early on, when I had a hydro/cysto and urethrotomy done, he took care of me and was very loving while I recuperated. I think he hoped that was going to be the end of my problems, and really it was 4 years until I was positively diagnosed, so it was more like the beginning of it instead. :toilet: Just one of those things I guess.

[blue]

My relationship had gone for a drastic change for the worse, and so has my job for that matter.

My husband seems to talk to me in with a tone all the time. He doesn't see it though. It is so frustrating. I am so ready to just jump in front of this freaking train that I listen go past me all night!!!

Work stinks, my marriage stinks, I feel bad, I'm not sure what else to say!

Wait, there is a good thing, my relationship with my 15 yr old son has improved! That is an amazing thing!

[missychan]

Valli-

Um, just a thought... shouldn't it be the hubby that ends up in front of the train? :idea:

Keep your chin up- I too had the job from ****- actually the job was fine if I could have just gotten that train to come for my boss. I was fired three weeks before Christmas, and it's the best thing that ever happened to me! I've never been fired before, so that was pretty emotional, but once I realized it was 100 % personal and that nothing I could have done would have improved the situation, I was ok. Now I relish in the fact that while the boss is hitting the office every morning at 6, I am hitting the snooze button! :biglaugh:

Luckily, I have an amazing hubby of 16 years that supports me all the way, even offering to make sure "the boss was at the train station when the train came through".

Good luck- it will get better. It just has to! And remember, we're all going to heaven, 'cause Lord knows, we've done our time in H***.

Missy

[jrowley]

I have a wonderfull supportive husband. He not only is patient with me and my problems that he helps by turning my peeing alot into a joke to keep me from going nuts. Like he says that got-to-go got-to-go song for the ditropan commercial when I tell him I need to go. And now I have to have a sleep test for rls and we are figureing that is the reason for me not being able to ride our motorcycle for very long and hopefully that will all change when that is treated. But my husband is wonderful.

[Rita]

:) My hubby is wonderful!!!! Very supportive. When
I'm feeling very tired from lack of sleep(up at least 10
times a night) he says get on the couch and rest all day.
He even traded in our Crown Victoria (which he loved)
and bought a van so he could remove one of the back
seats and put a porta potty in for me. He knows how I
love chocalate so when Wal-Mart had white choc he
bought the whole box 24 bars for me. We are seniors
both got married for the second time 10 yrs ago.
I started with IC after our first year of marriage. He has
been wonderful ever since. Lucky me :woohoo:
(((HUGS))) Rita

[Sarojini]

My husband used to be the most supportive guy in the world, but after I was diagnosed with things other than IC, I guess he couldn't handle it. I have an in-between husband now too, as stasny put it.

[Flarin-up Vicky]

Wow! I hope someday I have a good husband, It's going to be tough, though. I'm only 20 and have yet to find my prince charming, I think it will be very hard because I think people in their 20's don't want to deal with illnesses, they just want to have fun, enjoy their youth! I wish I had gotten this disease later in life not when I'm just about to start it!! :headbang: