Mom in law

[Solfish]

First of all...I gotta say I love my mother in law dearly. she is sweet lady who is supportive and has helped me during whatever I've needed. THAT being said, I almost wanted toreach through the phone and throttle her tonight. WE talked at lenghth at how I was feeling, what my treatments were, blah, blah, blah. She told she read somewhere (she's one of those read stuff, forward it to you type of people) that when stuff is all in your mind, once you figure it out, all the physical stuff goes away. All I have todo is simply figure out what is bothering me. Then my physical problems will be fine. Is homicide justified? All I can wonder...How many people think this? She said this all in love, like she was telling me some wonderful new and breakthrough news. AAAARRRRGGGHHH. I had to say, patiently, through gritted teeth, "Nell, dear, there, is something physically wrong with my bladder......(I continued describing my bladder much more than I cared to to my mother in law.)....

Why, oh , why?

Peace.

Tracey banghead

[Jen_Cole]

Maybe since she's the read and send it to you type, you could do the same to her with a picture of your bladder? Maybe then she would think a bit differently about ic.

[livinonedge]

Some people just don't get it. That's what's so cool about this place here we all get it and we all understand. I've been thru the same thing with my family and I just said look you can support me and believe me or just shut up. It was harsh and rude..yes, but I had to say it. Good Luck!

Justice

[auntiedeb]

grouphug grouphug grouphug

[ICNJess]

I hate it when people say mind over matter. My dad was the same way until I sat him down and made him watch the Elmiron video on IC. I think it really made a difference.


Hugs and good luck,
Jess

[Iris]

Oh Tracey, your post was funny, I am sure you felt like throttling her through the phone, at least you have a sense of humor about it all, take care gal and hang in there, hugs Iris hi :D wink

[Dixiefireball]

Oh how i know how you feel to well I wish i could divorce my inlaws or just move millions a miles away from them and never hear from them again I hate to say that but over the pass 13 years it has been a living hell having them around! they has been some good points but most of it has been bad.
However i'm very happy for all of you that has a great relationship with there inlaws. I wish my family could get alone great. at least half the time. frown

[ICNDonna]

I know what you mean. When my mother was still with us, she thought that if I would just change doctors and see HER doctor, he would help me get over this "thing."

What I had to remember was something my father once said after I became of age. He said that it wasn't possible for him to stop being a parent, and it wasn't possible for him to stop giving me advice. Then he said that all he asked of me was that I listen to his advice and at least think about it --- and he would understand if I didn't follow it. He's been gone for many years now, but I have always remembered what he said --- and it's the message I've passed on to my own adult children.

What I told my own mother when she advised me to change doctors was that I would think about what she said, but was satisfied with my own doctors at least for the present.

When our mothers, or mothers-in-law have ideas that they think might help us, I think it's because they care.

Warm hugs,
Donna

[Julie B]

Donna, that is marvelous advice. I had two extremes. A mother-in-law who really is very smart and is constantly trying to guide (I wouldn't say she is ever forceful about it, it is just the frequency of it LOL)

My mom, is completely withdrawn.

I hope I will end up someplace in-between.

I am at the stage where my kids are having to explain this to THEIR significant others and sometimes their friends. It is a bit uncomfortable for all of us at times, and we don't yak about it constantly. But it is always there...........whether we explain it or not. :-)

Hang in there hun, sounds like you have a great mom-in-law despite the conversation of the moment! :-)

[Solfish]

Thanks all..She really is a sweet lady, very New Agey. Her daughter passed this summer
due to lung cancer. (she was dx with it one week, died the nexr...so she's putting her energy into "healing me" now ) I just find the whole "mind over matter" arguement from people very irritatating. (no matter how they cloak it.) I get the guilt trips for not driving 9 hours to see various family, and my husband makes me feel like a putz for not getting too excitied about family events hours away. (Hey..guilt is a self imposed emition so I won't self impose it!!!!)

Thankssssss...

Peace.