Clueless or plain insensitive??

[anxious one]

Sometimes I get so angry at my hubby for being so clueless and insensitive. :mad: I ended up in the Er yesterday moring in a HUGE flare- they had to give me morphine. Last night I still had to put ice between my legs to make the pain go away. This moring (still lying in bed obviously) his hands start "wandering :rolleyes: " down there and I can tell he is after you-know-what. :rolleyes: I snapped his hand away and said "Are you completely crazy or just insensitive??!! You know the pain I was in yesterday!!" And he said, wait for it..." But I thought you would be feeling better by now." :headbang: :headbang:

Seriously, what is wrong with them that their brain is ruled by their willies?? I'm sorry to be crude but I get so angry when he just doesn't get out bad IC pain actually is, added to that the constant fear of posr sex infection. Then I get made out to be the old shrew for saying "No." I get so angry when I have to yell and scream to get my point across when I feel like he should just know.

Anyway, sorry to vent it out here, thanks for listening :)

Sara

[Katrina]

:grouphug: :grouphug:
I am very sorry you are suffering so much and fearing more to come. Sounds like you and your husband need a talk about why he did what he did and why you reacted the way you did so that he understands what causes you seve pain.

It is impossible for people to understand our pain. I want you to realize that it can be even more sad when they stop trying so it is best to talk it out.

I so wish I could take the pain away and give understanding your husband and everyone. Hope you feel better soon.

[sylvieCT]

I have the same issue - all the time! I find myself saying a lot of "there's just no way it's going to happen tonight."

[Julie B]

I found a way, at least for now, to let my husband know how I feel down there......

You see, he is CRAZY about his clothes.....all tags have to be cut off immediately.......any little glitch in shirts or slacks, and he won't wear them.......and he cuts the toes out of some socks because the stitches bother him.

so the other day I said....."you know how you hate those scratchy tags in your shirts.....well most of the time I feel like I have one of those scratchy tags shoved up my urethra, and scraping all that tender skin down there. The thing is, YOU can tear out the tags....and I can't do anything about this.........."

I wish I had a real answer to this..........for myself and everyone..........Hugs........Julie

[nss]

Sara I will speak to you soon. Good luck tomorrow.

I dont have that problem any more, my DH gave up asking. LOL.

((((HUGS))))

Nadia

[Rosalie]

Hey Nadia
Got to know is your DH short for Richard Cranium? My DH told me that he was so tired of being knocked back that he would never ask again. :woohoo:
Pretty sad isn't it?
I'm finally getting my cysto on Tuesday but DH's brother is down from Queensland so my son has to take and collect me from hospital. Seems that going to Horsham to look at a tractor is more important than me.
I was taking it fairly well until I started writing this and now I don't know whether to cry, run away or punch his bloody lights out. :hmm:
Rosalie

[ICNDonna]

:grouphug:

Donna

[Dixiefireball]

not trying to be rude in anyway but I feel like most of the time there willies do the thinking for most men.
exp. my husband

[Stella1609]

I don't think they can help it sometimes. I'm in a huge flare with possible UTI right now, went home sick from work yesterday, and doubled my dose of Elavil last night. But this morning (my birthday), he started trying to get some (this after he swore never to do it with me again after my bad flare Sunday, lol).

It's not that they don't get it (IMHO), it's just that men are naturally selfish and like Rhonda said, it's sometimes hard for them to think beyond their penises :).

Laura

[anxious one]

Ragdolls??!! :cat: I love ragdolls!!

Anyway, back to the topic... glad to see I'm not the only one with a man who often is posessed by his nether regions :rolleyes: it's amazing though, isn't it?? What do you have to do to get through to them??? I can't quite remember who said it was their birthday but :birthday: :birthday: I hope your flare is over now and you had a good day.

Rosalie, good luck with your cysto :woohoo: finally, it's been a long wait. I got a letter from the "Hospital admissions dept" the other day asking if I still needed the surgery as it's been over six months since I was placed on the waiting list!! :mad: They were probably hoping I'd carked it in the interim so they could knock me off the list!!

Thanks everyone for your replies

HUGS,

Sara

[Rosalie]

Sara, doesn't our public health system suck? And it's sooo inconsistant.It's fine if you go in on a stretcher, well actually not even then. I spent 36hours in emergency once. They thought i'd had a heart attack and by george, they we going to keep me there until I did! Turned out to be a hiatus hernia. :loco:
Are you waiting for a cysto as well?
You may well be right about the hospital. They just keep the numbers even by moving them from "waiting" to "deceased" lists. Probably not funny.

Most men are the same. There may be a few exceptions and to the girls out there that have those ones, hide them, because the rest of us want one.
My mum always said "they are all the same, they just have different faces so we know which one is ours!"
Girlfriends mum says "they are all made from the same mould, its just that some are mouldier than others".
Problem is, I've brought one into the world. So far he seems to one of the less mouldier ones. To any nice 19year old girls, he is really lovely!

Rosalie

[Hollydoll85]

Too bad you're in Australia Rosalie...I'm 19...I'm nice...I just got dumped...lol

[anxious one]

:grouphug: Sorry to hear you were "dumped" Holly, if it makes you feel any better I went through plenty of shocker boyfriende in my teens. I say you have to experience the bad ones to appreciate the good ones... but even then the "good" ones have their moments!!! :rolleyes:

Yes Rosalie, I'm waiting on a cysto. Rediculous isn't it?? I took out private insurance 3 months ago and I'm actually thinking that my 12 month waiting period will be up on the insurance before I get to the top of the public hospital waiting list!!! I've got another friend who is on the same waiting list to remove Gallstones which give her a lot of pain. Every time you go to hospital you hear "the public health system is in crisis!" No kidding. :rolleyes:

And I have a lovely 20 year old brother who is also one of the good ones. He treats his girlfriend so well- he grew up with just mum and me so I like to think we had something to do with it!! :D Sorry Holly, he also lives in oz, not to mention he's very taken anyway!!

Hugs,

Sara