How to talk to mother?

[Katrina]

I am having a hysterectomy on January 12th and I don't know how to tell her. I think she will be against it. It is what I want for my Endometriosis. I have thought it through. I expect though that she will say things like, "but you have that drug, this is drastic surgury, you don't need it, why risk you life for something you don't need?" yet the decission is mine and I have made it. I need her support. Yet that does not mean I will get it very easily. I have had 10 other surguries in my life. No complications. They have helped me more than drugs, in my mind. She is isn't living with the side affects and the pain I still have even on the drugs. I don't know how to tell her. It makes me want ot cry just thinking about it. She has hurt my feelings so many times already when it comes to my health. I don't know what to do. Please help me. Although, I bet that would take a mirracle. Thanks a bunch.

[jaime15]

Well not only is this probably going to improve some of your health problems but you could tell her this will also help you financially in the long run. Meds cost lots. And if they think you need the surgery now, that probably wont change later.
Katrina, I've never asked you before but do you have any children/or want to? Is the endo already keeping you from that? She may think she wants grandkids from you. And with this surgery it's out of the question unless you adopt.?
If I got too personal I apologize. :( :)
And don't answer if this view, I have, is all out of whack....
You need to be healthy and happy in life when you can. Even if she gets you upset come back here for comfort...We'll be here for you whichever route you decide to take. kissing

[auntiedeb]

grouphug grouphug grouphug grouphug Katrina, have you prayed about talking to your mom? Prayer works and God gives us the wisdom and the words to use to talk to someone. I am praying for you. We are here for you.

[Iris]

Hi Katrina, I know this must be very hard for you, but it is your choice, and your life, and your health. Mums can give advice, but this is your decision and she will have to accept whatever decision you make. I feel for you, especially if you have been hurt before. I have a daughter and speaking as a mum, I would be very supportive of her, in any decision she made for her life. I just pray that your mother will give you all the support you need, without hesitation, as this is your choice. Please keep us posted, and you know we will all be here to give you love and support with your decision, love and hugs to you Katrina, Iris kissing grouphug

[ICNDonna]

Okay --- just a suggestion --- but you might tell her that you have looked at other options and have discussed it with your doctors and have reached the conclusion that a hysterectomy is about the only option you have to help you feel better. You can also tell her that you have made your decision and that what you want most is her understanding and support. As a mother, I think she will first be concerned and may say that she doesn't think you should do it (I avoid such statements because it's what I always heard from my mother and it hurt). Just remember that if she does, it's because she loves you.

Warm hugs,
Donna

[tigger_gal]

well donna said it the best, thats what i was going to suggest you tell mom that this is your only option and you have decided yes, that you have had too much pain already and do not wish to endur more... good luck
Brat...
you have my support on your choice :)

[Dixiefireball]

i do believe donna said it best she has the best idea and i pray for you it helps.
My mother when still living always was trying to look out for my well fare I sure miss her this year will be 15 years since she passed dec 19 its hard but thank of it like this she does mean well and she does love you she just wants the best for her daughter. Good Luck I hope she supports you i believe she will but it may take her some time to come around she is just worried. that is what all good mothers do. :)

[Katrina]

*wipping away my tears* Thanks you so much, I can't help being afraid. I think I will write this stuff down and try to get it all out at ounce. Thank you so very much Donna. I know she loves me, she has been through a lot being my mother. My health has scarred her so much so many times, I always want to protect her, but I can't not tell her about this. My health is more than she can handle usually and I don't blame her.

Understanding why, doesn't always mean I won't be hurt though. Being an emotional mess already, I want to protect myself from more stress.

If you have any more great advise, please keep it comming, I need all the help I can get.
Thanks much

[Sue]

I care! friend

[ICNJess]

Hi Katrina--

I think if it were me, I'd sit down and tell her this is the best thing for me and my health, and I really want her to stand behind me because I need her to be there. :) Very similar to Donna's suggestion lol. I just can't imagine your mother not being there for you. She'll be there. :)

Hugs and love,
Jess

[Katrina]

My mom may want grand kids but not from me. She has even been against my husband and my dreams of adopting, no way does she think I am healthy enough myself. That will not be her reason for being against it. Just letting you know.

[Zookeeper]

Best wishes for you Katrina,
Hang in there and follow your heart you are
doing whats best for you and only you have the
right to chose whats best for you & your health.
I wish only the best for you & will keep praying
for the day everything is alright for you.

grouphug
God bless.Take care. love , Zookeeper Kim

[Katrina]

I told my mother today about my surgery. She didn't say anything possitve or negative. She may have been holding back, but I will take that any day over judgement.

Thanks for your help. I was well prepared to have the bad conversation, but ended up not needing to too much.

[auntiedeb]

grouphug grouphug grouphug grouphug

[ICNDonna]

I'm so glad you have shared with your mother.

Warm hugs,
Donna

[Dixiefireball]

since you want be able to have your own child i think adopting would be great for you and your husband you seem to be a wonderful person in ever chat we have had. I wish you much love and luck from your mother i truely believe she will stand behind you.
Your mother loves you she just doesn't understand hopefully before your surgery she will be there for you.
we are here for you any time we will all stand behind you.