View Full Version : Is your husband/bf compassionate?
11-20-2002, 11:18 PM
I'm recently married (a month ago), but we have lived together for 3 yrs., he's seen me through the worst. I have to say, he's not the most compassionate guy out there. I understand it must get tiresome hering me complain all of the time, but geez. I think what ****** me off the most is that I MAKE myself come to work to support us while he's in school in horrible pain, sitting on a heating pad. I'm a receptionist too, it's not like I can hide it. The least he can do it be compassionate and make me feel apprecaited for all the trouble i go through.
How do you deal with plans, ect? Is he supportive if you can't go places or have to break plans?
Sorry your hubby is adding to your pain right now frown.gif Mine DEFINATELY goes in sperts. Sometimes he's the greatest, sometimes I wish he were an insect so I could step on him and listen to him crunch and die rolleyes.gif The older I get, the more convinced I get that they have monthly cycles, just like we do only theirs are worse because they refuse to take a midol.
It's taken alot of years but I finally stick up for myself as far as functions outside of the home go. I always make plans with an "if I'm able" at the end. He has started to go to the family functions without me when I'm sick and that makes me feel much much better. Guilt is just getting too heavy for me to carry around anymore. Every winter we go on a great vacation and I go into this huge anxiety attack that lasts about 2 months worrying about what I will or won't beable to do while we are there BUT, he has learned how to make friends and participate in functions without me and if we are going to spend the rest of our lives together this is a MUST because I don't think I'm going to wake up some morning cured.
Maybe your husband is feeling guilty because he's in school and he knows that you are hurting and that you HAVE to go to work because of him. While you were just living together in his mind you could pack up and leave at any time. Now, you are 100% comitted to him and he's feeling a lot of added pressure and he just doesn't know how to deal with it. Give him some time. They do tend to get a bit cranky when they run across something they can't "fix" and since they can't fix us I think they have more cranky moments than most hubbies do.
sending you a huge hug~
11-21-2002, 01:04 AM
When I was in pain at first before I got any meds...I was recently married too. I was dx 3 months afterwards. So time together was special. I never spent any time with him. I was always having to lay in the bedroom laying down crying, taking bath after bath while he was in the living room. He came in here at times and layed with me and was so sweet....he brought me stuff and bought me a journal and a scrapbook to keep me busy. When he asked me to go places with him, I couldnt and it broke my heart and I just cried. He understood and he didnt get mad or anything. But he does know how my mood can change in just like that. <img src="graemlins/scream.gif" border="0" alt="[scream]" />
Now that I am able to do everything that I was doing before....he doesnt really say anything about it now. If Im just sitting there with a look on my face <img src="graemlins/eek.gif" border="0" alt="[eek]" /> Then he asks me if it is burning. So he is very supportive...I can tell in little ways even though he doesnt show it all the time. Tell your husband to just appreciate you and help you in your times of trouble. Take care ((HUGS)) I know its hard for people to understand this condition but they need to know we need their support.
~Alison~ <img src="graemlins/grouphug.gif" border="0" alt="[grouphug]" />
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