MakinIT
11-18-2004, 02:29 PM
You know...I've had a rough time this past 18 months or so (it took 29 psychology sessions to finally admit that I'm having a rough time) and I'm really trying to cope. I can't drive any longer because of my meds so I take the "special" buses that come to your door and take you to the door you need. All the while, I keep hoping the stupid disease will go away, or at least go into remission. So, I knew I had to see my uro yesterday and my mom wanted us to stop by after to give Kelsey her birthday present. It was a new house. So I called that morning and asked for directions. My dad gave them to me. (Now...he's very anal, conservative, and old school) When I called I had taken the morphine and 5mgs of valium and had slept all of 2 hours the night before. I was very tired. and out of it. I wrote the directions and went to bed. Got up at 1:30 in the afternoon to take a shower, started getting stuff together and could not find the directions. I looked high and low. I was sure I had put them my purse and searched it like 12 times...not there. So, I tried Mapquest, mom had given me the wrong Zip code and couldn't find it. So I wound up having to call back. I tried to explain to my dad that it is difficult for me to stay organized (that's despite anything) and I hadn't slept and I had taken my pain killers. He freaked at me and told me to stop taking those
"F.......ing drugs and get off your F......ass and back to work." I just started bawling and all could was keep telling me that the tears told him that he was right, I was just sitting on my ass and liked it. Like I enjoy fighting everybody and being treated by all of these agencies as if I'm a leech and a moron trying to gain something I don't deserve. I worked my ass off and spent MY OWN money getting my Bachelor's and Master's degrees. I also have worked for 10 years as a teacher and 3 years prior to that as a teacher's assistant. I worked at least 20 hours a week while going to the University of Oregon. For him to talk to me and tell me I was being a "welfare queen drug addict" was about all I could take. I hung up the phone just as my husband walked in (BTW: I'm not on welfare, I'm on my former employers long term disabililty plan) and just broke down. He was furious and said we should skip going over their, but my mom really wanted to see the kids and she was in the background defending me. She told me today that she and he were fighting at the time I called. They rarely fight.
I hate how he can make me feel like I'm twelve when I'm nearly 40.
However, the uro noticed my eyes were still red and swollen when I saw her yesterday. She asked what was wrong and I told her. She actually got quite angry, got some materials together and wrote a note stating the severity of my situation and the need for each med. She ended it by saying that people with IC benifit most from friends and family just supporting them as much as possible.
And I wonder why I so nuerotic and have periodic anxiety attacks. It was just good that he gone half my childhood due to being a sailor.
Thanks all for listening. Sometimes, I think you all are the only ones who understand. But my husband was actually for once very helpful and supportive and loving.
Tracey
"F.......ing drugs and get off your F......ass and back to work." I just started bawling and all could was keep telling me that the tears told him that he was right, I was just sitting on my ass and liked it. Like I enjoy fighting everybody and being treated by all of these agencies as if I'm a leech and a moron trying to gain something I don't deserve. I worked my ass off and spent MY OWN money getting my Bachelor's and Master's degrees. I also have worked for 10 years as a teacher and 3 years prior to that as a teacher's assistant. I worked at least 20 hours a week while going to the University of Oregon. For him to talk to me and tell me I was being a "welfare queen drug addict" was about all I could take. I hung up the phone just as my husband walked in (BTW: I'm not on welfare, I'm on my former employers long term disabililty plan) and just broke down. He was furious and said we should skip going over their, but my mom really wanted to see the kids and she was in the background defending me. She told me today that she and he were fighting at the time I called. They rarely fight.
I hate how he can make me feel like I'm twelve when I'm nearly 40.
However, the uro noticed my eyes were still red and swollen when I saw her yesterday. She asked what was wrong and I told her. She actually got quite angry, got some materials together and wrote a note stating the severity of my situation and the need for each med. She ended it by saying that people with IC benifit most from friends and family just supporting them as much as possible.
And I wonder why I so nuerotic and have periodic anxiety attacks. It was just good that he gone half my childhood due to being a sailor.
Thanks all for listening. Sometimes, I think you all are the only ones who understand. But my husband was actually for once very helpful and supportive and loving.
Tracey