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MakinIT
11-18-2004, 02:29 PM
You know...I've had a rough time this past 18 months or so (it took 29 psychology sessions to finally admit that I'm having a rough time) and I'm really trying to cope. I can't drive any longer because of my meds so I take the "special" buses that come to your door and take you to the door you need. All the while, I keep hoping the stupid disease will go away, or at least go into remission. So, I knew I had to see my uro yesterday and my mom wanted us to stop by after to give Kelsey her birthday present. It was a new house. So I called that morning and asked for directions. My dad gave them to me. (Now...he's very anal, conservative, and old school) When I called I had taken the morphine and 5mgs of valium and had slept all of 2 hours the night before. I was very tired. and out of it. I wrote the directions and went to bed. Got up at 1:30 in the afternoon to take a shower, started getting stuff together and could not find the directions. I looked high and low. I was sure I had put them my purse and searched it like 12 times...not there. So, I tried Mapquest, mom had given me the wrong Zip code and couldn't find it. So I wound up having to call back. I tried to explain to my dad that it is difficult for me to stay organized (that's despite anything) and I hadn't slept and I had taken my pain killers. He freaked at me and told me to stop taking those
"F.......ing drugs and get off your F......ass and back to work." I just started bawling and all could was keep telling me that the tears told him that he was right, I was just sitting on my ass and liked it. Like I enjoy fighting everybody and being treated by all of these agencies as if I'm a leech and a moron trying to gain something I don't deserve. I worked my ass off and spent MY OWN money getting my Bachelor's and Master's degrees. I also have worked for 10 years as a teacher and 3 years prior to that as a teacher's assistant. I worked at least 20 hours a week while going to the University of Oregon. For him to talk to me and tell me I was being a "welfare queen drug addict" was about all I could take. I hung up the phone just as my husband walked in (BTW: I'm not on welfare, I'm on my former employers long term disabililty plan) and just broke down. He was furious and said we should skip going over their, but my mom really wanted to see the kids and she was in the background defending me. She told me today that she and he were fighting at the time I called. They rarely fight.

I hate how he can make me feel like I'm twelve when I'm nearly 40.
However, the uro noticed my eyes were still red and swollen when I saw her yesterday. She asked what was wrong and I told her. She actually got quite angry, got some materials together and wrote a note stating the severity of my situation and the need for each med. She ended it by saying that people with IC benifit most from friends and family just supporting them as much as possible.

And I wonder why I so nuerotic and have periodic anxiety attacks. It was just good that he gone half my childhood due to being a sailor.

Thanks all for listening. Sometimes, I think you all are the only ones who understand. But my husband was actually for once very helpful and supportive and loving.

Tracey

work it
11-18-2004, 03:33 PM
Your story breaks my heart but in the end it seemed to get a little better. It sounds like you have a Fantastic husband and a wonderful URO. I bet your dad regrests saying the things he did. Hope all gets better soon.

sylvieCT
11-18-2004, 03:39 PM
We can't change others only ourselves even though their behaviors can be very hurtful. In the end, they are the ones who really miss out on the opportunity to love, care, support, and have empathy for others. We are lucky that we have those wonderful traits. Sometimes all you can say is "I'm sorry you feel that way" and let it go. Perhaps this relationship would be this way even without the IC? I can not tell because, of course, I do not know you but there are some great books on how to deal with controlling people. One book is called "the Language of Letting Go." I loved it and it helped me with abusive, controlling people. Much support. Sylvie

kelly McC
11-18-2004, 03:56 PM
I am so sorry! I want to send you a big (((Hugg)))
Kelly

jaime15
11-18-2004, 04:13 PM
{{Tracey****
Some people just don't get it...it's very hurtful when it's a family member or friend. :(
Maybe the doctor's note and phamplets on IC will be the trick.
Big hugs to you.........I hope tomorrow is better.... :grouphug:

MakinIT
11-18-2004, 04:31 PM
Thanks all...Sylvia, I agree with you about the relationship even without IC. I know he loves me. He just has a very linear thought process about life. I was seriously ill when I was 19 (I had Guilliane Barre syndrome, was totally paralyzed for a year, on a ventilator for a month or so during that time...I did see him cry and he awkwardly hugged me on many times. ) This makes him mad because I'm not getting better. My sister is permanantly disabled and has been since 10 years old....I am his success...not only got a college degree but an advanced degree. Only one in a group of 21 grandkids of his folks and first in the family. He thinks I'm just not coping.

Sigh..I could by his body language he kinda wanted to say something to me but I was still so mad that I just pretty much ignored him. Then you start thinking, geez what if something happens to either one of us before I can see him again. My folks are still relatively young, 60...but my dad has high blood pressure, smokes, and just lost his business. I can see him having a heart attack.

Thanks again.

T

Hollydoll85
11-18-2004, 08:48 PM
Tracey,

I'm sorry about all your family/medical troubles...just know that we're all in it with you!!!

Katrina
11-18-2004, 09:35 PM
:grouphug: I like your doc, I am so sorry you went through that. I am constantly getting don't take those, or I wish you wouldn't take those...when it comes to pain meds or sleeping pills from my mother....and yet when I don't sleep I siezure and get very dizzy....having people understand that theese meds are what is best for us is sometimes impossible...luckily it isn't up to them! I hope things improve for you with everything!:grouphug:
:kiss: