Feeling very depressed...

[sylvieCT]

I was out of work yesterday due to a flare. My work knows that I have IC. When I returned today, it just seems like everyone makes light of my condition or doesn't care at all. I was on morphine and oxycontin for pain, yet I managed to come in today because I had some important project due. My boss said to me, "It must stink for you getting old." Then in the morning, my husband asked me why I just didn't eat the chocolate breakfast cereal and have a cup of coffee, because "it was obvious to him that the diet is bull----- because I get sick when I'm on the diet. I just felt really helpless in defending myself today. No one seems to really understand.

[Betsie]

...and it is clear some never will. It is such a pain in the pee hole when we constantly have to defend ourselves, our pain & emotions. I simply don't anymore! My family is beyond supportive, so aside from them, I worry less and less about how other's process this. :idea:

Your husband made a hurftul comment, likely as he can't fix this for you....but your boss? Bringing age into the conversation under any condition is absolutely appalling. :cussing:

When it is illegal to discriminate due to age or because of it soley, that was a pretty risky thing for him to say. Shame on him. If my husband even thought about speaking to his employees in such a manner, he would be dealng with his boss, "ME".................... :bonk:

Have a better day, be kind to yourself...

[mayray518]

Your boss sounds like a real jerk. I got similar comments when I got IC in 1994. One woman told me to "stick my desk in the bathroom" and giggled. I consider people like this to be ignorant and self-absorbed. They should be saying "there but the grace of God go I."

[mrich]

That is very frustrating!!! I believe that we are hard enough on our own and then
to have others say such hurtful things. I think one of the hardest aspects of this disease is the thought of "IT" getting us down. Press on!! You sound very strong!!

[work it]

sylvie..I hear your frustrations and am so sorry that you have to deal with it. People can be very inconsiderate. My husband is still new to me having IC and sometimes doesn't understand my pain. To help him I show him any new research that might help him understand.

Maybe your husband is a little mine and does care but just doesn't know how to show it really and would rather have a happy healthy wife. Print some things off for him and your co-workers and maybe just maybe your co-workers will know the pain you do suffer. IC is not well known so it may be hard for them to understand.Educate them a little. I know that you shouldn't have to justify being ill and missing work but sometimes you just have to with inconsiderate people. Best of luck and I really hope you start feeling better.

[sylvieCT]

Thanks everyone. It is just so frustrating! IC has nothing to do with getting old! Young people have it too! I'll get through it. My husband is pretty much supportive, but just doesn't get it. I can't blame him, it is hard and frustrating to understand IC.
Thanks everyone. We are lucky to have this board - I'd feel lost and alone without it.

[XoChelsey03Xo]

I'm sorry that the people around you don't understand. I understand how that feels. Yes young people get IC. I'm only 19 but yet I do feel like my body is very old for my age. Just try to not listen to all of the hurtful comments. Chelsey

[green_the_fish]

Hi Sylvie. I know how you feel, it's really hard to people to understand what we IC patients go through. Even many doctors don't understand .
Your boss is obviously ignorant. Next time he runs his mouth like that, tell him a fact about IC: 1 in 4 people with IC are under the age of 30! Actually, I'm only 15 years old.
Sorry about your husband :( Maybe he'll learn to be supportive with time.

[mayray518]

Show your boss the statistics on IC. How it can become so debilitating that you can get social security and that many young people get it. that should educate him/her.

[TexasHoney]

I really feel for you. I am having the same problems at my job. I called in today and have been out 4 days in the last 2 weeks. If only these people coud walk in shoes for even one day they would understand this horrible disease a whole lot better. I hope you feel better soon.

TexasHoney

[IWin]

Hi Sylvie,

I hear your hurt and frustration. I think we all do, because most of us have been there.

Your boss may have been attempting to joke with you. If that is the case, and you don't like it, speak up. Tell him you find it hurtful. Also, you may want to explain exactly how you feel physically, where it hurts, how it hurts. If you can compare it to something he may have experienced or may understand, then he is more likely to understand what you go through. I don't know where your pain is, but I know it must be bad to be on such strong drugs.

For example, my husband used to think my menstral pain was in my legs. When he told me this I laughed and wondered where he ever got that idea......but he's a man and had no point of reference. Since I always wanted to lie down and it was sometimes hard to walk, he assumed it was in my legs. So I described it like really bad intestinal cramps like when you have awful diahrrea (I know I spelled that wrong) but it lasts all day.....he understood!

As for your husband, I'd just say even if it helps a little, it's worth it. And you are trying to be healthy and take control of the situation as best you can.

Good luck. And you know, even though some people say things we don't like, it doesn't mean they don't care. They just don't know what to say.

[Sarojini]

Hi Sylvie,

I'm sorry this happened... and I agree that your boss is a real jerk and was toeing the line between thinking he's funny and being completely illegal. I suggest you keep record of the things he says like that, and if it gets out of control, show your human resources department. I bet they will be apalled at his comments and something will be done!

I quit my job on August 10th due to severe IC symptoms, but even more because of an unreasonable boss who'd make comments similar to that -- and who expected me to work 7 days a week, 12 hours a day, and who would call me 3-5 times a day if I was on vacation -- he even called me during the funeral of my hubby's grandfather, which was one of the last straws. When I resigned, he got so mad at me he accused me of falsifying data (we worked in a laboratory), which is something I'd never EVER do. Basically, he was just mad because I was the first person who was strong enough to stand up to him and say "I cannot stand to work in this environment anymore, and your behavior is unacceptable" -- he had an ego the size of China and everyone was terrified of him, but when I finally stood up to him, other people followed suit and quit, so the joke was on him. ;)