Groundhog day

[MakinIT]

Do you ever feel like every day is Groundhog day? You know...the Bill Murray movie in which he wakes up and the same thing happens over and over? What do I have to do to get out of this loop? I am soooo tired of fighting this fight. If it isn't social security, disability insurance or my own insurance company it's the transit systems. (I've been argueing with my dog's vet insurance company over a claim) I am sooo depressed. I am on meds, then they try meds so they can help straighten my moods....any anti depressant has to be very carefully selected as I have diabetes and I can't have any wieght gained. so the medication change was to well butrin XL and my insurance won't pay for it no matter what because there is a generic Short acting. (That is, I have to take it twice a day instead of once) The generic caused me to go bananas but the Well Butrin has helped smooth my mood. And now....as soon as the free samples go away, I'll have to pay for it myself.

I'm tired of the fight, tired of the medicine, tired of my husband's anger (although he tries) , tired of sleeping, tired of waking up 5 times to pee 50 cc's in the night. ( I do take valium about 1 AM and that makes it so I can sleep until 4:30 before I have to go again.) I forgot my morphine yesterday morning (60 mgs in the AM) and I could not figure out why I hurt by aboout 9:00 and then thought I was coming down with the flu (FAST) later in the day. I finally figured it out when I went to reset my weekly med box and there was morning pill. I wound up having to take valium and the morphine to settle everything down, then I slept all the rest of the day.

Sorry...don't mean to have a pity party. I'm just so sick of this. I want to work, want to stop worrying every month that I'm going to be cut off my income.

Ok...take care all....wish you the best...

[MakinIT]

Oh....I had a controlled breakdown last week....(very calmly laid out all my options and feelings to my husband) My health insurance plan pays for a trip to pyschologists 29 trips in 2 years. Whee. I can't start until January. Anyway. My hubby is sending me to see him, and actually paying for it, (at $150.00 /hour) a couple times before I can start going on my Insurance's dime. Maybe it'll help. I dunno. I don't feel like I have enough help or people to talk to . Anyway, choi all.....

[ICNDonna]

:grouphug: I'm glad you will be seeing someone for counseling.

Warm hugs,
Donna

[work it]

Hey makinIT..Have you asked your Dr to write a MNL (medical necessity letter) to the insurance company explaining why you take the welbutrin XL. If your Dr spells it out to them and says why you are on it and that this is the only med that works for you health wise they may consider paying for it then.

Just an idea..I used to work for a mail in pharmacy and the insurance companies would never go out of there way to suggest a MNL to the patients but about 90% that did get a MNL would then get approved for the medicine that the Dr wanted them on. Good luck

[Katrina]

Teisha idea is good. I hope you feel better soon and you do get the help you need. I am tired of the fight too. :grouphug:

[donutgirl]

Hey...good ideas from Teisha.

Yes, I do feel like my day is a continuing loop with the same tape being played. Some days, thank goodness are a little better than others though and for that I am grateful. One thing I wanted to bring your attention to.....if you feel that way again, sickly and like you are coming down w/ the flu, check your meds...you are beginning to go into drug withdrawals. I did that a few weeks ago and it was horrible.

Hang in there....I truly hope you feel better soon.

Hugs,

DIANE

[MakinIT]

Thanks all..Work IT, My doc has said that it was medically necessary. twice. My pharmacy beni's on my plan just doesn't care, I've spoken to "customer service people" crying and they just kept calmly saying sorry, it's not on the formulary and there is no evidence this is any better than the SR. (I told her I was not involvedin that research and I cannot get them to care that the SR causes me to have horrible mood swings....and, unfortunately,Canada doesn't have the XL yet.) And yes, donut girl, I know I have medicine withdrawals especially with morphine. I've been on it for 18 months. I try to be very careful about not missing my dose because I get sick. I really hate being dependent on them. But, that is the least of my worries right now.

Thanks agaim

[work it]

be very persistint..I know it is frustrating dealing with insurance companies and it takes time sometimes..formulary or not you need this and it is necessary. It may take a dozen letters from your Dr. You may need to go above and beyond the customer service people. Customer service doesn't not approve it anyways they are just there to answer the phone and to try and stop you from getting any further then them. Please be patient and persistint, my heart is with you.I know the frustration you are having.

[MakinIT]

Yeah, docs and I have gone above the "customer service level" . They don't care...Docs (my whole team) have documented that I am suicidal and that the XL settles me down and keeps my mood calm. (I actually was on well butrin about 5 years ago for depression and hated it because it made me too calm...but I need that now) They just keep repeating that there is no verifiable justification (ie:tests) to prove the necessity of long acting forms "sigh". They don't look at all the other meds I'm on that can interact with the short acting and can cause such severe mood swings. And again, my anti depressants that I can take are very few due to my diabetes. So, it just sucks. Makes you cynical, thinking it would be cheaper for them if did do myself in. thanks for all your ideas, I've certainly tried them and my doctors have been very sympathetic and helpful.

T

[work it]

oh hon please don't let this get you down. My next suggestion would be to go your state senator and have them help fight the battle with the insurance company...you have the proff that you need the medication. I know in my state when re-election came up they were doing comericials on how he help with Rx drug cost and get what they needed so who knows it may be the help you need.
Feel free to email me or PM me anytime. I am also sometimes on yahoo IM and MSN if you have either one of those.

[ICNJess]

Hi MakinIT,

I can understand where you are frustrated, I think at one point all of us ICers head down that road. Just hang in there, you will indeed "Make It".

Hugs,
Jess

[MakinIT]

Good idea with the state level politicians...we actually have democrats in this end of the country, I was on their campaign teams so maybe Patty Murray or Brian Baird can give me a hand...I do know them personally...Ugh...I'm just so tired of writing people. I went to my chiro today, and I feel somewhat better. He really does some work on my pelvis that, he theorizes, opens my pelvic cavity enough for a while so the irritation has more room to move....But, then everything settles back to what it was..(It didn't help that I tripped and fell, twice, over my own two feet last week.) My chiro is very angry with my medication regimen (He's also an R.N. who works specializes in drug/alcohol issues) and thinks I'm way over medicated. Especially since I fell asleep as he worked on me this morning and did his semi "painful" stuff...(Neck cracked, ribs put back in place, etc...) Usually I'm awake and *****ing at him during these parts.

Anyway, I'm tired. I'm going to bed...thanks for the help...

Tracey

[MakinIT]

Hey all...I know it's an older thread but wish me luck. My well Butrin XL ran out today so I have to take to other stuff now. I see my Doc on Friday. He will write a script for it, but husband won't pay for it, and my doc is trying to provide me with "under the table" samples. I don't think he can do it anymore.

Oh well, I guess a few episodes of mommy/Wife going off the deep end this month will convince my husband.

Tracey

[theclownster]

Hi there! Sorry to hear that things are not going well. I came across this post and wanted to add my thoughts of encouragement to you. May everything go better this week. By the way, have you tried getting the medication by using needymeds.com. They have a ton of info on how to get medications at a reduced rate or no cost. I think there are forms you need to fill out and you Doctor may also need to fill out a portion of it.

Hugs~
Jennifer

[MakinIT]

Haven't thought that route..prob is, most agenicies wouldn't look twice at us because our income looks above normal. (My husband has a decent income, I have disability from work) He's just being a grouch about anything he has to pay for when it comes to me. Chiro care, massage therapy, drugs not covered, etc.... even if means I become a complete wreck. He just walks out the room and says we're just throwing money down the toilet. However, it is quite alright for him to order robotitics equipment from ebay, for his classrooms technology unit, for $200 bucks, non reimbursed. Then when I ask about it, he acts like, "how dare I eve question what he is doing? Hell I'm in the same scroungy pj pants and sweatshirt, OR oversized jeans that slide down my ass, because I can't eat. My power over money has diminished more and more since I've been on disability. I have to account for EVERYTHING I spend my money on, all under the excuse that we are trying to reign in our debt. (I agree with that, and Roger has done a great job with that. I just get angry at the loss of power in my life, and I don't think anyone, that hasn't been through a serious illness, understands.)

Take care......Tracey