Boy am I stupid - if only I could retract the past hour.

[ibtracy]

:yikes: I decided to give into my husbands "needs" :toosh: if you all know what I mean tonight as we don't see much of eachother. It's been 2 weeks post-op since my hydro/cysto and I'm just getting over the flu plus I have one of the worst bladder/kidney infections I've ever had. I really thought I was doing something good for our marriage that is such a rocky boat at times. It burned the entire time and now my entire pelvic floor is throbbing and crampy not to mention my bladder is bleeding and spasming. I tried laying down with ice, tried my heating pad and tried a steamy hot washcloth and nothing. I even tried putting a maxi-pad on with Witch Hazel Pads as that seem to help with episiotomy pain after having my girls but NOTHING IS WORKING HERE! I've already taken my pain meds for the night and can't take anything else so here I sit with this horrendous pain, it's 3:33 in the morning. He's already drifted off to sleep and I'm out of ideas. Why, why, why, why do I do this to myself. We used lubrication so that's not the issue, I guess it was just too much too soon. Does anyone have the "secret" remedy should this happen to me again in the future? I'm considering a warm soak in the tub as a last resort. I took 2 Ibuprofen thinking that might reduce the swelling in all the areas "below". If only :bonk:I could retract my decision????????????
:cussing: :( :help: :confused: :tsk:

[Cricketmk3]

I know how you feel ibtracy. Although I don't have a husband and am not faced with the "should I or shouldn't I" decision every day, I do have a boyfriend and we go away on vacations without our collective four children every now and then. Sometimes I'm in a slight flare especially since travelling usually brings them on and I don't always feel up to being intimate but the opportunity is too perfect to pass up. He would die if he knew he hurt me (just as your husband would I'm sure) but I don't have the heart to tell him it does sometimes hurt. I don't suffer near as much pain as I used to since starting medications but sex is one thing that irritates me. How do you maintain a healthy relationship without it? I have started to use lubrication where I didn't before (the Paxil I take does nothing for sexual excitement) and a hot washcloth seems to work for me followed by my trusty heating pad. I'm so sorry this doesn't work for you now but with any luck, it will start to help after you've had treatment and time!

[ICNDonna]

That warm bath sounds like a good idea. I take a shower afterwards and stay in it for a long time.

Donna

[Dixiefireball]

Tracy,
don't beat your self over this lord knows you been threw enough lately.
i gave into my husband two days after mine big no no :bonk: :yikes: talking about pain.
i do agree maybe a hot bath or shower may help if not try an ice pack.
take one of your nerve pills to try to relax the muscle down there and help you relax so you can get some sleep. Sending you a big cyber hug and prayers :grouphug: :pray: ers
lylas
rhonda

[ICLori]

Don't feel bad sweetie - I did the same thing last night and paid the price too. Apparently the Lupron did not make all my irritation go away, LOL!

You are right, this is something we kind of have to do to preserve the relationship - we don't have much choice.

I wish I knew some answers to help you, but I don't - just wanted to say, I know how you feel, I didn't fall asleep until 4 in the morning last night because of pain...

Blessings, Lori

[dancemomof2]

I think we have all done this!!!!!!! Sometimes you get more then you can deal with afterwards :dizzy: I realy wonder Why we give in all the time when in the back of our minds we really know this isn't the perfect time for companioship :hmm: . Hugs hope you feel better soon.

[tigger_gal]

Tracey,
we all do it :bonk: we all wish we didn't... don't beat your self up.. I really hope you feel better soon..
hugs
brat

[work it]

Boy our husbands should really be bending down and kissing our feet for the things we do for them :) I don't think mine understands sometimes how hard it is, but I love him him dearly. Maybe I will try a you get what you want now give me something I want next time. I love back rubs who knows maybe it will work.

[ibtracy]

I was so embarassed to post that but now I'm glad I did because I now know that I'm not alone! Thanks for all your support gals, I really appreciate it! :)

[ICLori]

In my case it turned out to be a UTI...sigh apparently I can't do intercourse without getting one...but I am getting better now with antibiotics...

Blessings, Lori

[blue]

A couple of weeks ago, we were having lot's of trouble, and found a pretty comfortable position. I don't even know how to go about describing it here, I'll IM you.

I have alot of pain where the episiotomy was, do you think that's IC related, or just the episiotomy?

[carolynyeo]

Hi unfortunately for me my husband I sorta gave up having sex. It is so depressing. I love him so much and we are young 25 and 28. He is the most faithful wonderful man in the world IMO. But I worry how long? He is like a saint Im serious. He gets up with the baby at six every morning so I can have a couple of hours of rest after being up all night, he comes home at lunch so I can have a break and when he gets home at night he makes us supper, cleans up whatever I couldn't and takes care of me....But seriously how long can he go on like this. Anyway we had sex two weeks ago and it was great but I had a bladder infection right afterwards...On cipro for a week.

[blue]

give it some time, maybe it'll work out. Maybe, once you get your IC under control, you can get back to your sex life!

[XoChelsey03Xo]

I'm sorry your in so much pain. Hopefully it goes away very soon. Chelsey

[dyno]

I have had IC for almost 30 years and yes it can be painful at times. I have learned over the years though that through good communication you can still have that aspect of your life.

When I hurt afterwards, a good shower helps. Also remember there are other ways to take care of those needs and if you are hurting real bad, that might be the time to try some of the other meaningful ways of communicating your love to your mate. Hang in there everyone and be nice to yourselves.

[Imustpee]

Thank goodness I don't have pain like that after sex.....instead of putting yourselves through so much pain and agony, what about oral sex? That has the same end results, and the men LOVE it.. :)