Stress induced flare

[Mainemom]

My husband and I have been through a really rough patch in the last couple of months. It all came to head this morning and it looks like we may not make it through this one. I have been very stressed and not drinking enough water, and so now I am in some major pain. I just am so sad and not sure what is going to happen to my children and me. I really am trying to get through the next couple of weeks while we decide what we are going to do. Whether it is really over or not.
Thank you for listening to me.
Kirsten

[tigger_gal]

(((((((Kristen)))))))
hugs I am sorry you are having such a rough time.. I am too.... I am stressed over the limimts right now... My husband got drunk after being sober 3 years and totaled my 2001 dodge ram.. the ins won't cover.. I owe 11 grand... and thats the lighter side of the story.... If you want to talk let me know.. stress really plays a massive roll with IC..... Maybe you 2 can work things out..
hugs
Brat

[liznazz]

I can sympthize with you as I too am going through something very similar with my husband. It looks like it's coming to an end, and the stress is also affecting the IC. I am trying to stay calm throughout it all. Hope it works out for the best for both of us. liz

[XoChelsey03Xo]

I hope everything works out for all of you. Try not too stress a lot because I know that can cause huge flares. Stress causes me to not feel good a lot. God will be with you. Chelsey

[Katrina]

I am so sorry you are having difficulties. I know that anytime my husband and I argue I am a mess....So very sorry you are going through such a hard time with such huge worries. I know that would be so very hard on me. :grouphug::kiss::kiss::kiss:
:grouphug:

[ICNDonna]

I'm so sorry. I know it's a difficult time for you.

Sending warm encouraging hugs,
Donna

[Miki]

I too have been going through the pits with my husband of 30 yrs. I can't take the verbal crap he gives me at times. We are seeing a shrink, and each time I go I am a wreak.
It must be the thing that is causing this flare. I just want to be away from him and everyone else. I don't know if this increases the pain, but when you have emotional pain, I think we become more hypersensitive to our physical pain too.

I really believe it is a lack of being able to control our lives, and our bodies. What a feeling to have your body just rebel against you.
What you could take for granted, no longer applies.

I don't know what everyone's problem is with their husbands, but I was really surprised to see this and have so many of us having emotional problems with spouses.
I am so fed up. If I could live on my own, if I had my own insurance, if I could still work, I think I would have walked out on him.
But now, there is no way I can do that. I NEED the insurance to pay for all my meds and doctors. I need to have someone help me, since I can not drive any longer.
My life seems to be and has been at a standstill since I gave up my business.

Miki

[work it]

I am so sorry to read about all the bad feelings you all are having with your husbands and IC. Each one of you are going through a tough time in one way or another. Try to focus on the positive to stay strong. My motto or saying to keep me going is that I know that there is someone else out there in a worse situation then I am in. And believe me sometimes that is hard for me to believe. I just found that dweeling on the negative only got me more depressed and life IS worth living. I will keep you all in my prayers.

[Sarojini]

I am so sorry, I really feel for you. Fighting with spouses can really be stressful. I know because this weekend I was supposed to have a wonderful romantic weekend away with my husband -- it was fine until the drive home, when he finally blew up about the fact that I was uncomfortable in the car, and decided that from now on he is going to manage my IC diet for me like I'm a little kid... because "obviously I can't do it myself." His reasoning is that since I'm still in pain in the car when we go on trips, I therefore must be cheating on my diet and so now he's put me back on the very basic IC diet and watches me like a hawk all day to make sure I don't eat anything else.

He threw away the coffee (which I could have one cup of every morning with Prelief) and other things like that even though I had gotten myself to a point where I knew what my triggers were and could avoid those.

I don't know what happened -- he used to be so sweet to me about my IC and everything :( Now he's turned into the Diet Nazi and the Pill Nazi and I feel so completely helpless. I don't know if this is his way of acting out his own helplessness over the IC or what, but it sure is ticking me off.

He just may never understand that car trips may never be easy for me, no matter what diet I'm on.... especially ones that are on roads like I-40 in Arkansas that are like washboards because they're poorly maintained.....

[Miki]

Is there some thing in the husband air???

My H. blew up at me again last night.

He has not ever been able to handle my IC etc etc, but he has done a good job when his antidepressants are working well.

I don't do an IC diet, since I don't eat most of the things anyway.

Maybe he thinks if he is your diet/meds nazi then he will "cure" you.
What he doesn't understand is that this is not curable, only containable.
And driving is stressful.

I had a hard time in the car on a trip back east.
I brough along a pee bottle.
It was hard to use, but darn it I made the attempt since I was in bad shape.
It did help even to release the few drops I was able to get out.

Men want to CURE us.
Do you see a shrink together, or go to the URo together?
Maybe that would help him understand more.

There is also a good pamphlet on the ICA website for family members of the Ic patient. It might be worth the few bucks and to read it together.

You can't do a darn thing when in the car and bumps and such jog the car around.

Damn them all, sometimes.
It is hard! Maybe that is why some people really get divorced.

I would, if I could, but I NEED his health care insurance.
At least this is how I feel right now~

Either understand, and stop blaming me for nothing, because you are upset, or I will just go to my room and read this newsgroup for the whole day.

We don't go anywhere any longer. I just can't take it if he is in one of THOSE moods.

Well
I hope you can work things out.

I tend to jump right back at my husb. I just don't take the cr*p that he puts on me.
If he is right, well then I apologize and tell him he is right, but if he is not, and I am the butt of his anger, NO WAY!

30 yrs of this is really hard. More than Half has been with IC.

Miki