being rejected

[ad8123]

I am the one with Ic and sex is very infrequent but my hubby is turning ME down which means we are never having sex all he does is play video games. I feel very lonley and very trapped if i did not have IC I would leave him. It is my birthday and what is he doing?, playing video games when i asked him to come to bed with me. No, he wants to play. I feel so disappointed and angry and I hate him right now. My marriage is empty and meaningless. Is it even possible to have IC and a good husband. Is it me, is it him , is it the IC.UGH :hmm: :shake: :birthday: to me!

[Cricketmk3]

I'm so sorry about your situation! I'm divorced (with two children), so I don't have a husband, but I have a wonderful boyfriend that is so considerate and understanding. I believe if he were my husband, he would be great about my IC. What I'm trying to say is, yes, it is very possible to have IC and a good husband. I don't mean to promote divorce, but you only have one life to live and it is your responsibility to see that it is as happy a life as possible, with or without IC. First, try talking with your husband and tell him how you feel.

[ICNDonna]

Yes, it's possible to have a good relationship in spite of IC.

Have you talked with a counselor? Sometimes that step can really help salvage a marriage --- or it can help make the decision to end a marriage. And if your husband won't go with you, I suggest you go alone.

Warm hugs,
Donna

[tigger_gal]

((((((((hugs)))))))))
my ex husband loved video games an thats all he did...I could stand in front of him naked and he'd look around me.....
sorry tou are having such a bad b-day... I understand how horrible you feel,,
hugs
Brat

[Katrina]

I am so sorry you are having this ruff time. (((((((((huge hugs)))))))))) Yes it is possible to have IC and a good husband and marriage. I do think it takes work and a lot of effort though.
I so wish you had a Happy B-day. Lots of love to you! I think Donna had some good advise!
:kiss:

[work it]

I hope all and all you had a good birthday. Maybe something is bothering him and the communication seems small so he is not confiding in you. Donna had very good advice even if he doesn't want to go, go for yourself. Sometimes we all need that extra help from the professionals, and it is nothing to be ashamed of. Praying that thigs get better for you.

Teisha

[XoChelsey03Xo]

:birthday: :birthday: :birthday: I'm so sorry about your husband. I would try talking to him and let him know how you feel. Communication is very important. I would just let him know how you feel. Chelsey

[ad8123]

Well, I know what was up with hubby, he told me he is divorcing me today. I am in shock, I think he is serious, I am at my parents, they were worried about me being in the house all day and crying. I am very depressed, even without this. But I guess it explains the feelings that he doesn't love me or desire me anymore-he doesn't. Well, i guess I just keep going on. I have cried so much that my bladder is spasming really hard and my head hurts. I threw up all morning after he told me (didn't help my symptoms). I am scheduled for 3 nerve blocks next week, scared to go through with them now though, my mother is going to come with me.

[andcohen]

I'M SO SORRY FOR WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH AT THE MOMENT, I COULD ONLY IMAGINE THE HURT YOU ARE FEELING. MY HUBBY & I HAVE HAD OUR FAIR SHARE OF HORRID TIMES IN THE LAST COUPLE OF YEARS SO I SORT OF KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH, THE HURT ALONG WITH THE HURT OF IC CAN JUST BE TOO MUCH SOMETIMES. PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF THOUGH, DON'T PUT OFF YOUR TREATMENTS BECAUSE OF THIS. AT THE MOMENT YOU NEED TO BE AS STRONG AS YOU CAN, SO YOU NEED TO LOOK AFTER YOURSELF. I HOPE THINGS GET BETTER FOR YOU SOON.
ANDREA :flower: :flower:

[work it]

Oh Angela I am so sorry. I got shivers when I read that he wants a divorce. You stay strong and hopefully all will be okay in the end even if a divorce takes place. You need to stay strong so you can be on the road of recovery. And please feel free to Email me if you need a cyber shoulder to cry on. We are all her to support you through this tough time. It's to bad that your husband feels like a divorce is the answer. Maybe throughout time he will realize what a good thing he had going and that he let the perfect woman get away. You are in my prayers.

Teisha

[ad8123]

Hello all, well I woke up today, it still sucks and I am flaring so bad. I am not sure what hurts more the physical pain or the emotional. I head back to my house tomorow so I can get settles, him in the guest rooms me on the other side of the house. I have to get a job fast so i can get some insurance still do not know what to do about the nerve blocks, I guess I am still on his insurance but who knows, and anyway it may still cost a lot but I can not get a straight answer from the md office.

[Sarojini]

:( I am so sorry this is happening to you right now. :grouphug:

I hope that, somewhere in all of this, you can take some time for YOU now. You need the time to heal, emotionally and physically. Treat yourself well and take some time alone.

I hope also, that when you are ready someday, you find a wonderful new partner to share your life with, and who is understanding and who loves you for all that you are. He's out there somewhere, waiting for the right time ... have faith in that... :grouphug:

[Cricketmk3]

Been there, done that. I am divorced with two children. I had to get a job too and learn to make it on my own. Guess what, I'm happier now than I have ever been in my life! I have a fabulous boyfriend, a good job, a cute house, and great kids. I would still be a miserable soul if I was living my former life. Like Jen said, there is someone wonderful out there for you that will love and care for you. If you don't find them right away, then life will still be better without someone who doesn't lift you up!

[anxious one]

:birthday: :party: :birthday: Happy Birthday!!!

Men can be horrid sometimes. I have a UTI at the moment and you know what my hubby said to me this morning?! "If we can't have sex can you at least give me a blow job?" ??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :mad:

Honestly, they can be insensitive you know whats sometimes. My hubby is a decent gut but really....

IC can certainly take it's toll on relationships, that's for sure.

Hope you had a good birthday anyway!!

Hugs,

Sara

[Imustpee]

"anxious one" I have heard that line before..it semms like that's all men think about... :bonk: Get him a Playboy and a box of kleenex...hahahha

[anxious one]

:thumbsup: I'm with ya, sista!!!

Sara

[ad8123]

:lmao: You guys made me laugh that is a good one, a playboy and box of Kleenex! :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: I needed a good laugh. I am feeling better about it today. Our marriage has been uphill the entire two years, he has started to leave before so I guess it ahould really be no suprise. I am terrified :yikes: though, will I be able to work? will I get better? Not so worried about the lonlieness, been lonely since I first got sick, pain does that, at least for me, it isolates me, makes it hard to relate to others. I know (somewhere deep inside) that it will be fine. God must have other plans for me so be it. Thanks for the support. I hope the world becomes a better place for all us Ic'ers!

[work it]

Angela you sound like a strong gal so I know deep down that you will get through this tough situation. I hope that the work field is good where you live and that you will find one in no time. One that will understand that you will have some bad days due to the IC. You will never be alone due to the fact that you have all your cyber friends here. And you know what, without the stress of your marriage you may feel better soon physically.
(have to add that I will have to remember the playboy and kleenex thing LOVED it!)

[anxious one]

Seding you lots of love and warm thoughts Angela... :grouphug: :grouphug:

Really, if he is going to be a jerk perhaps you should let him leave?? So sorry, easy for me to say, I know... IC is isolating enough anyway...

If you are living with IC you have proved you are so strong you could cope with anything!!!!

Hugs,

Sara

[dancemomof2]

Angela, sorry I missed this post, but I am glad to see you are doing better.

As for his insurance, they can not drop you until the day the judge signs the divorce and all is over with. My ex-hubby tried this one on me.

Once again sorry tohear this but glad you are getting up and going on.

[SueC]

:birthday:Belated :dizzy: not sure if i could handle it at all!
Congrats!

sclaus1@pacbell.net

[ad8123]

Thank You everyone for all the support and encouragement, I know I will be coming here more often for awhile, to get and give support in a trying time. Looking back I can see so much that I was blind to then. Hindsight you know is 20/20, But I can move on from here and although I joke about getting the world's best case of amnesia and forgetting the whole marriage, there are lessons to take. i will NEVER love a man that does not love me enough to go through hell, i mean IC (same thing right?)and a man that loves me completely-forever, the way Christ loves his church, the way it should be. So, there it is. I guess today is better and thank you again to everyone, may God bless and keep us all.

[mayray518]

It is important that you have a good support network going with family and friends. I had friends around me but family didnt believe me so it was super bad. Sounds like your family is being supportive. So sorry for what you are going through.

[ad8123]

Hello everyone. i just wanted to update. I have had 2 of the 3 nerve blocks done and it is going great, the docs had to make an adjustment because I woke up in the middle of the 1st one (upset them a bit :). They seem to be working great. my hubby is still divorcing me but I am ok with it better now than after we had children. i am so blessed to have a place like this and such amazing family, my grandmother and uncle call everyother day to check on me and to encourage me. I hope that I can be as good a person/friend/family member as those around me. To everyone out there thanks for your encouragment and understanding and to all other IC'ers, we can do anything! We are survivors, evryone.

[anxious one]

:grouphug: :grouphug: Good on you for being so positive, Angela... so sorry to hear that it has come to this, though- but you are right, I think if you can survive IC you are one tough women. (Well, that means all of us, doesn't it! :) )

We are here for you!!!!

Hugs,

Sara

[work it]

Oh I am so glad to hear a smile from you. I am also happy that the nerve blocks are going well. Sounds like you have a close family that is there by your side to support you through this tough time with your husband. (and of course you have all of us)

[ad8123]

Just a quick update, the blocks are doing GREAT! already reduces my pain meds, sprained my ankle after the third though, leg went numb and I though it was fine and well I guess it was not quite awake) I am still divorcing but for now I am back with my parents itis just to hard to be around the hubby, the batrayal is too much and we are just too ugly to eachother now and I do not want to become an ugly person so avoidance it is. I am still trying to get a job, tricky because everyone wants to know why I took a year off and I can not do what I did before but in time, I know I will find something. I am still surviving like us all. God bless and keep us all!

[work it]

Oh Angela,sorry to hear that you sprained your ankle, I am wishing you a speedy recovery for your ankle. Good luck with finding a job, I know it is not easy, I have been off for about 4-5 years and am now trying to seek a part time job that works around my children's school and that just is not happening. Its like the longer you have been off the harder it is to get a job. Best of luck with everything and keep your spirit strong.

[Cricketmk3]

Anxious one, Tell him you won't give him a blow job but you'll stick a hot curling iron up his butt so he can sympathize with you a little better. Sorry, that was ugly. I know even the decent ones can get frustrated. ;)

[mayray518]

Girl I am howling over Cricket's remark.

[work it]

OH MY GOSH!! that is to funny. I am going to use that line the next time hubby thinks he is being cute. I am going to use the BIG curl curling iron though :)

[blue]

LOL, too funny, although I think I missed any previous reference to a blow job!