Dixiefireball
09-20-2004, 01:16 PM
A little boy returning home from his first day at school said to his mother, "Mom, what sex?"
His mother who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the tricky subject.
When she had finished, the little boy produced an enrollment form which he had brought home from school and said, "Yes, but how am i going to get all that into this one little square?"
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A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car, Instead of payment he sent the police department a photograph of $40 several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40
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A Sunday school teacher was discussing Noah and the ark with her class.
What do you think Noah and his family did while they were on the ark?
They spent all day feeding the animals one girl replied what do you think they did for food? Said the teacher do you think they fished from the deck for their supper?
No replied a boy on the front row they could have only caught two fish the whole time Puzzled the teacher asked why is that because they only had two worms! the boy replied.
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I was checking out the other day at the grocery store with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine I picked up one of those dividers that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed
after the girl had scanned all of my items she picked up the divider looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me do you know how much this is? and I said to her I've changed my mind I don't think I'll buy that today.
she said OK and I paid her for the things and left she had no clue to what had just happen.
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little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence Interested in what the cheeky faced youngster was up to he politely asked what are you up to there Tim?
My goldfish died replied Tim tearfully without looking up and I've just buried him the neighbor was concerned...that's an awfully big hole for a goldfish isn't it
Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied that's because he's inside your cat.
Let me know what you think.
His mother who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the tricky subject.
When she had finished, the little boy produced an enrollment form which he had brought home from school and said, "Yes, but how am i going to get all that into this one little square?"
____________________________________________________________________
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car, Instead of payment he sent the police department a photograph of $40 several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40
_____________________________________________________________________
A Sunday school teacher was discussing Noah and the ark with her class.
What do you think Noah and his family did while they were on the ark?
They spent all day feeding the animals one girl replied what do you think they did for food? Said the teacher do you think they fished from the deck for their supper?
No replied a boy on the front row they could have only caught two fish the whole time Puzzled the teacher asked why is that because they only had two worms! the boy replied.
______________________________________________________________________
I was checking out the other day at the grocery store with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine I picked up one of those dividers that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed
after the girl had scanned all of my items she picked up the divider looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me do you know how much this is? and I said to her I've changed my mind I don't think I'll buy that today.
she said OK and I paid her for the things and left she had no clue to what had just happen.
__________________________________________________________________
little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence Interested in what the cheeky faced youngster was up to he politely asked what are you up to there Tim?
My goldfish died replied Tim tearfully without looking up and I've just buried him the neighbor was concerned...that's an awfully big hole for a goldfish isn't it
Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied that's because he's inside your cat.
Let me know what you think.